Appallingly busy these days and moderately distressed. š Help! Anybody wanna guest post? I’ll even make a little competition. Ok, here it is, whoever answers this following question (in the affirmative) first will get to guest post. (Sorry for the delay Usman, I can’t even…
A little aluminum foil underneath your scarf will keep the aliens from sucking your brains out. Remember how on one of my previous blogs I was complaining about my tailor? How he made my pants too small and made my shirt smell like armpits before…
Today, as my mother, Aniraz, and I drove through town, running our various errands, we achieved something of monumental and insidious potential: we distributed dozens of flies from our neighborhood to other parts of Islamabad, shooing a few out here and there every time we…
News Flash: My momma has a new blog, and I’ll try to get her to update it weekly by Friday. Visit at www.ourmarvymomma.blogspot.com I finally put two pics up on my fotolog. They were both taken with a highly horrible borrowed digital cam, and so…
Two fish sitting in a tank. One turns and says to the other, āHey, you know how to drive this thing?ā Amazingly, this week has gone been much faster than previous weeks. Maybe thatās because Iāve been putting off all my work till the last…
You know, Iām starting to get some more of those Cosmoplanetary, Jesmopolitain vibes…just call me mellow yellow, cuz I feel like melting in the computer chair and chillin, just staring at the trippy ambience in the windows media player and listening to Raihan. (Syukur, syukur!…
I mortally wounded myself, just to make you guys happy. I present: How to Mortally Wound Yourself While Cleaning Off The Table. -or- How to Make Carrot Upside-down Cake. Clean off the remnants of Easter dinner, and cover a largely un-touched carrot cake with plastic…
Sorry my comments arenāt working, squawkbox.tv is having server probs. Speaking of problems, the annual Battle of the Bugs is well underway. Every spring, once the weather gets a bit warmer, insects of all kinds come out in full force and lay siege to my…
I beg a thousand pardons of yāall, for I overbooked my weekend and hadnāt had the time to write an update yet. Friday was English Night, this Saturday was a party, tomorrow is Easter Dinner for my mother. Aasif jiddan. Partyās over, the house is…
Well, it happens every summer so today was a good enough day as any: I swallowed a bug. No, I donāt know what kind it was. No, it wasnāt salty, or sweet for that matter. No, I didnāt chew or swallow. Eeeee….Iām grossing myself out…
Doctor: Thereās nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation canāt prolong. -Monty Python Well folks, I was kinda sick today and yesterday, but it was nothing that a day off work, a three hour nap and a two hour shower couldnāt fix. Antibiotics were…
Eat My Dust? Last night we had the first spring dust storm. I wish I could think of a word stronger than storm, because it doesnāt seem to fully describe the sight. The visibility is down to about 30 feet, the air is thick with…
Ha Ha! My little brother in the states is reading my blog! Hi sir! I so happy! I therefore dedicate this blog to him. AssalamuAlaikum Zaman! Well, I have distressing news to relate. You know that one fly trapped in my fly-trap? It escaped. :::drops…
My second art gallery visit was much better than the first. I was quite impressed with the quality of the art there, and I came home thinking artsy thoughts…thinking about pulling out my sisterās water colors or finger-painting with food coloring if she wonāt let…
I May Not Know Art, But I Know What I Like! I get tired of mortally wounding myself, and yet I just canāt seem to stop. Ere go: How To Mortally Wound Yourself While Baking Crackers Donāt ask me why weāre baking crackers. Pakistan is…
I canāt believe how busy Iāve been this week. I, who usually do something fun roughly every six months, have been out almost every other day this week. Saturday: Lunch with friends, Tuesday: Dinner with Friends, Today: Book club with friends, Tomorrow: Anti-war art exhibit,…
Mosquito bites are back in fashion. Thatās my excuse for having so many of them. Being a hijabi-jilbabi no one can see the ones on my arms that are as big as pennies, but my face is not so lucky. When the mosquitoes start biting…
Here we go again: How to Mortally Wound Yourself While Trying to Answer the Phone In order to do this successfully, you must have only one phone, and it has to be downstairs. Now, go upstairs and wait for the phone to ring. When it…
If this blog is funny-lookin, sorry, we’re having technical difficulties. Anyone fluent in HTML: please email me! I need help!!! You guys…Iām at it again…sometimes I have mad inventive schemes. This weekās is a fly catcher. Yes, a device to catch flies. No, Iām not…
American Christian + Pakistani Muslim = FUNdamentalist Hijabi? In honor oā Saint Pattyās day…oops…I mean cuz Yaz asked, hereās wassap with my family. My dad (a Pakistani Muslim) traveled all over the world (as a teacher, then a sailor, then a waiter, then a cook)…
Ho-hum, hymns.
My mother has just cranked up some gospel rock and started a triple batch of peanut butter cookies. According to the angry Christian guy in the stereo: Godās got an army/not afraid to fight/soldiers of the cross/children of the light. Warriors of righteousness/with healing in…
Je-tu present: Dinner Theater Blog A one-act farce by Abez A. Rat Act one Garcon: Good evening Madame, welcome to Chez du Rat trop Paresseux pour Cuisiner. Ey-yam Guy de Maupassant, and I vill be your vaiter tonight. āow may I be of service to…