OOOOOoooOOOOOOOoooohhh…. (a sad noise, not a buffalo noise) Everyone is leaving! My friend Chai is in the States on vacation, Crayon’s going back to Europe for the summer, so are my swimming buddies from Sweden, and my Australian hijabi is going back to Australia! Nuts! Now I have to run out and make some new…

I went to a tea party today and had an interesting conversation about modesty and scarfyism (aka Hijab) and I was reminded of the fact that most people have no idea what’s going on inside of my head. I assume they all know why I wear a scarf, but that’s an error on my part,…

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve sewed my new jilb, and I’ve learned that sewing involves a lot more than just….umm…sewing. It also involves- A bit of mechanical engineering: “Mom, I can’t get the bobbin back in.” “Take off the stitch plate and poke around with the seam ripper.” “I already tried that.” “Then just beat…

Randomness to the nth degree. The Caliph and the delusional man A certain man claimed to be God and was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, “Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!” The man replied, “It was well that you did so, for I…

I saw a guy on a bike carrying a live peacock under his arm today. Gotta love living in this country… Well, I’m putting my money where my mouth is (200 rupees to be exact) and I’m going to sew my own jilb. -gasp- I just bought a piece of georgette and I’m clicking my…

New stuff on my fotolog. Actually, all of it’s old, but it’s new to you, ok? Just go look. Sensei sez so! Eeek! Eeek! Eeek! The Beginning of Another Week! Sitting at the computer eating barbeque sauce (fridge is empty) and drinking Amrat Cola (boycott Coke and Pepsi!) and having another hermit crab moment. -I…

I just got back from a condolences reception for the mother of one of our friends. (She passed away and was buried on Wednesday, but they were receiving visitors this weekend.) I didn’t really want to go to the reception, who would, really. What do you say to someone when their mother has died? Formally,…

I’m beginning to think that maybe Americans are a little weirder than everyone else (just a little) as far as mint is concerned. I was talking to two of my students about spices and cooking and asking them about how their own ethnic cuisines differ from the food they find in Pakistan (this is a…

Must give props where props are due. Props to: Aniraz, for the creative brilliance behind ‘Tartar sauce, the fish that doesn’t swim.’ I forgot to attribute that quote to her. Sahar, for helping me replace my defunct tag board. *dies* Usman, for ALMOST making me forget that he owed me a guest post. ALMOST. I’m…

Work today wasn’t as bad as I dreaded. I did have three classes, and I did get a mysterious paper cut, but on the other hand, I got two cups of Turkish tea, a glass of juice, a video game and a magazine. The video game is just borrowed, thank God. If I actually owned…

DeKep is DeFunct. I got to go to Faisal Masjid for Maghrib jamaat the other day. It’s got miles of cool white marble, soft yellow lights, and it’s nestled right in the Margalla hills so there’s always a breeze going. I get to wander around barefoot and just soak in the spiritual ambiance. Man, I…

I learned something very interesting yesterday. One of my students was telling us about a man they know who claims to be a faith-healer. The guy takes a piece of aluminum foil, dips it in water, recites a few verses of the Qur’an over it, presses it between his hands…and then it ignites! Poof! Then…

Tonight’s English Night and I have brownies to bake and things to type up and stuff to do. (stuff!) If anyone asks, I’m not home, ok? Talk amongst yourselves until I return. Adieu! -Sensei A man stumbles into his house drunk, and his wife starts screaming at him. “Where have you been?!” she yells, “I’ve…

Sensei Presents: How to mortally wound yourself when the electricity goes out -or- Waxing your thumbs: the Pros and Cons. Wait until the electricity goes out, leaving you in pitch-darkness and utter boredom. Then feel your way into the kitchen and slap at the counter blindly for the box of matches. First you must put…

People sez: Is the glass half empty, or half full? I sez: Who cares. Say Bismillah and drink the water. Thank Allah for it and put the glass away. And stop sitting around and contemplating glasses of water, you weirdo! I had an -ahem- interesting morning today. Woke up at ten o’clock (instead of 9)…

Aaargh. This always happens…I’ve picked up some imported germs (imported germs are from imported students, I teach English to foreigners working for embassies and whatnot). One of my students has had a cold and flu, and what a surprise, now I’m getting sick too. I’ve learned that foreign germs are the most belligerent and most…

Well, now that I’ve gotten my hands on a copy of Microsoft FrontPage I’ve been causing all kinds of chaos. And since I somehow broke my tag board in the process, you can see that not all of it is the good kind of chaos. Well, I’ve repented. I have to get someone to give…

Woke up for Fajr this morning dead tired. Why? Because I’m a genius. I stayed up until 12:30 making my English Night prizes (with glitter, beads, cardboard, sequins, a glue gun, MWAHAHAA!!! Oh, and I et the egg.) and then I suddenly remembered that I had work in the morn. So then I was up…

In Need of Creative Extremism

“The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be…The nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.” -Martin Luther King I agree. I think we should all be extremists, the kind that are extremely steadfast (3:15), extremely patient (2:155-157), extremely God-conscious (3:102), extremely good…

oops. I posted double but I can’t just delete. How silly. Oh well. Here’s a different post then. Some primal termite knocked on wood Tasted it, and found it good And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today. -Samuel Hoffenstein.

Karachi Rox! I should just take Aniraz’s advice and not blog when I have nothing to blog about, but quite frankly, I’m just not that smart. If I was a smarter man, I would do things differently. I would do the work for my classes all at the beginning of the week instead of doing…

Randomness to the Extreme -or- When Abez Blogs at 1 am. How to kill a moth with window cleaner: Squirt squirt squirt squirt squirt squirt squirt, victory dance. **** One of my students is taking a vacation, and another one of them wants a rescheduling, and another one of them one wants more homework, and…

Before I begin my usual blogging nonsense, I have to make a formal and public apology to Maria (MSD). Though I did attack dating, I did not mean to attack you. I am very, very, very sorry for offending you. God Forbid that all Muslims should combine aggression with religious discourse. That was not my…

I had a whole different blog typed for today, but when I got on and took a look at my tag board, I decided to write something else instead. There are a few bizarre things happening on tag board right that I would like to address: “… let us have a Muslim Dating Service, if…

I’m not a mean man. Just one with a highly developed sense of vigilante-ism. *Dish!* Dor-Dor! Whack! I’m sitting in front of the computer trying to blog, but I don’t think it’s gonna work too well. First of all, between home and work, very few interesting things have happened. Second of all, I am brain…

Af Af, I mean, Woof Woof. Something interesting happened to me on the way home today. I was minding my own beeswax, turning left when a car came from the opposite direction, and tried to turn right around a car that was ALREADY turning right. In other words, he was being a moron, and driving…