Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Work today wasn’t as bad as I dreaded. I did have three classes, and I did get a mysterious paper cut, but on the other hand, I got two cups of Turkish tea, a glass of juice, a video game and a magazine. The video game is just borrowed, thank God. If I actually owned it I might spend the rest of my free time building castles and bossing miniature soldiers around. (I’m playing Stronghold, it’s a strategy thing.)

I get to be Bravely Bold Sir Lord Robin. Quite a title for a knight only a centimeter tall, eh? I strut about the castle ramparts ordering around badly trained, itty-bitty armies to defend my squalid group of dirty, drunken, surly peasants who steal cheese from the granary and flex their muscles at the screen. Filthy inebriated ingrates!

I try not to spend so much time playing video games. First of all, because I’m supposed to have better things to do. (actually, if I wasn’t playing I’d probably just be raiding the empty fridge or making a mess in some other part of the house) Second, because it makes my eyes water and my brain atrophy.

Ah! I just remembered what I wanted to mention. Aniraz and I were driving to work this morn when we were cut off by a white Corolla. As it sped off, we noticed that there were stickers on the back windshield spelling out ‘Smooth Criminal.’ Aniraz and I were like, hmmmm….so we caught up with the guy and stole a peek at Mr. Smooth Criminal. You know what? He looked neither smooth nor criminal. His sticker should have said ‘Hairy Punjabi’ instead. (What’s with Punjabis and really big moustaches? I guess we’ll never know… )

They have the craziest stickers on people’s cars here. Just the other day I was driving behind a taxi, who in turn, was behind a huge bus. The sticker on the bus said, Look Me. The sticker on the taxi said, OK Bye. It was too much a coincidence, both of those stickers together. I don’t know what it meant, but I’m sure it was important…

I can’t think of much else. Probably because I’ve just gotten back from work and all I can think about is….work. I have work again tomorrow morning and nothing is ready and I’m dead tired. Aaaaargh! I still have a sore throat, maybe I can call my students and manage a few pitiful wheezes and they’ll say I sound terrible and I’ll tell them I need a day off. Then they’ll get suspicious because I was better yesterday than I was all last week and there‘s no way I could have relapsed into my cold having just gotten over it. Then if I want a day off I’ll have to go and mortally wound myself or run out and catch a quick disease of some sort, because injury and illness are valid excuses, but tiredness is not. Sigh. Maybe if I try hard enough I can burst my appendix again. Hey, it worked the first time.

I think I’m having a hermit-crab moment. I want to quit my job and stay home in the air conditioning and play video games wearing a soggy bandana on my head. The soggy bandana is quite important to proper rest and relaxation. It keeps your brain from overheating. You guys must not think ill of me for this madness. It was 99 degrees (Fahrenheit, that’s 39 in Celsius/Centigrade) today and I feel baked. When monsoon comes, I’ll be stewed instead. In case you’re wondering, I’m best served with onions, shallots, and mushrooms in a light hollandaise….

I’ve been neglecting my Islamic quote of the day. Quick Aniraz, read me something out of that book!

Only an honorable man treats women with honor and integrity, and only a mean, deceitful, and dishonest man humiliates and insults women.” -The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, reported by Ibn Asaker.

You know, I think I’ve posted that one before, but Aniraz really did just read me the first thing she came across.

Three cheers for randomness.

(Tartar sauce, the fish that doesn’t swim…)

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