Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Randomness to the nth degree.

The Caliph and the delusional man

A certain man claimed to be God and was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, “Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!”

The man replied, “It was well that you did so, for I did not send him.” (9th century joke)


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Oh…I’m too sleepy to type a real blog. Here, have something useful instead. Here is short list of verses from the Qur’an and some Hadith about war and conflict.

“Fight in the way of Allah against those who fight against you, but begin not the hostilities. Lo! Allah loves not the aggressors.” The Holy Qur’an, 2:190

“And if they incline to peace, incline you also to it, and trust in Allah. Lo! He is the Hearer, the Knower.” The Holy Qur’an, 8:61

“The Messenger of Allah forbade killing of women and children” -Narrated by Abdullah bin Omar– Bukhari and Muslim.

“And slay not the life which Allah has forbidden save with right justification. Whoso is slain wrongfully, We have given power to his heir, but let him not commit excess in slaying! Lo! He will not be helped.” The Holy Qur’an 17:33

“For that cause We decreed for the Children of Israel that whosoever kills a human being for other than manslaughter or corruption in the earth, it shall be as if he had killed all mankind, and whoso saves the life of one, it shall be as though he had saved the life of all mankind….” The Holy Qur’an 5:32

“As for the Abode of the Hereafter (Paradise) We assign it to those who seek not oppression in the earth, nor yet corruption. The sequel is for those who fear Allah (those who ward off evil.)” The Holy Qur’an, 33:69

“And let not the hatred of others make you avoid justice. Be just: that is nearer to piety…” The Holy Qur’an 5:8

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Wait, I did have something that I wanted to mention. I haven’t been able to get on to the Bloggin Muslimz forum but I think the topic of discussion is making our blogs more Islamic or dawa-fied. Here’s my two cents. I propose that we make a list of websites that address issues we feel should be addressed, like the Israeli occupation of Palestine, the situation in Kashmir, in Iraq, in Afghanistan, etc, as well as some good Dawah sites like www.islam-guide.com, and we make big snazzy-looking buttons for them (and pass around the buttons and the html for them freely).

I was thinking of like ten neat-looking buttons that we can all put on our sites (on the side, maybe underneath the tag boards) that will always be there to point people towards the issues we feel need addressed. Just a suggestion. I am really sorry that I don’t have the technical skillz to do this myself though, I can’t even change my own tag board. 🙁

Well, whaddaya guys think?

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Ok, I’ve just had cup of coffee number four and I’m feeling a little more alert (zingzingzing). Learned something new today. Apparently one common Turkish wedding custom involves having the bride step on the groom’s toes surreptitiously (or vice versa). During the signing ceremony, the bride and groom sit next to each other, but in separate chairs. There is also a large table in front of them, so their feet really can’t be seen. At some point after the papers are signed, either the bride or groom will secretly stick their foot out and squash the other’s toes.

Whoever does the toe-squashing first is supposed to be the one in charge for the remainder of their married life. The Iranis do this too. My Irani student was telling me that she was too shy to squish her husband’s toes during the ceremony, so an old aunt grabbed the groom by the leg and practically forced her to stomp on his foot, not just once, but thrice for good measure. The old aunt loved her very much and wanted her to be the one ruling the household.

Well, as usual, my students went off on a tangent and we started discussing various cultural customs. If you’re about to go on a journey, both the Iranis and the Turkish will present you with a bowl of water (and various other things depending on which part of the country you’re from) which they’ll toss out after you when you depart on your journey. I have no idea why. Neither do my students.

The Russians will drink a toast to your health and friendship, and then hurl the empty crystal glass into the fireplace, effectively destroying it. This is supposed to mean that your friendship means more to them than crystal. Sounds expensive to me. I say keep the crystal and get new friends!

Pakistanis (my family included) will hold a groom’s shoes hostage until he pays up a sizeable chunk of cash. This is what the sisters and female cousins of the bride do. The boys surround the groom’s car and blockade him (preventing him from getting home again after the wedding) until he pays up as well.

Do either of these customs have any meaning or significance? No, they’re just extortion, plain and simple. The groom pays through the nose and the money is divvied up between the siblings and cousins of the bride. He he…

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