Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

I’m posting from an internet cafe with a sticky keyboard (ewwww) so I gotta be brief. Life is good, the weather is humind, and I have a question.

Q: Do I seem like the type of person that you would gift with a bottle of wine?

No? Does it seem to go against the very grain of my (attempted) Islamicness? Could you ever see me (hijabi) swirling liquor around in a fluted wineglass? No? That’s what I thought too. But then a lunch guest brought me a bottle of wine and was very surprised that I would refuse it.

“And your father doesn’t drink either?” they asked incredulously.

“No, my father doesn’t drink.”

“Then keep it for your mother,” they say, holding the bottle out towards me, “Isn’t she a Christian?”

“Yes,” I sez, stepping back and trying not to look to terribly repulsed, “But she’s the really strict kind. She doesn’t drink or smoke, she won’t even drink coffee.”

Oh well then. The bottle went home with the guests. Silly me. And to think that all this time I was wearing my religious inclinations on my sleeve (or head) and no one would even notice. Sheesh.

And am I living in a Muslim country? Yes, but here the moronical gov’t has liquor legal for foreigners and non-Muslims, and of course, it filters into the general populace from that point.

Aniraz thinks I should’ve accepted the bottle just to be able to smash it against something, or maybe launched it off the roof. Our most popular way of disposing unwanted comestibles (things that are edible, not that alcohol is edible but you know what I mean) is to give them a running launch off of the roof-top. We disposed of about a hundred rotten hamburgers (the freezer quit on us) that way in the wee-hours of one morning, frisbeeing them at the wild dogs who were roaming the streets as usual. Boy were they some happy dogs…

But I digress, yeah, we shoulda taken the bottle and launched it off the roof and watched it smash into a million pieces in the street below. That would’ve been fun. Irresponsible (someone could’ve got cut on all the broken glass) but fun.

Fortunately, the guests brought a back-up gift, some imported coffee (YAY!)which more than made up for the wine fiasco.

Ok, I’m running out of time and this chair is REALLY uncomfortable. I’ve taken my computer into the shop, and it’ll be back soon, InshaAllah. Then I can go back to posting longer and more absurd things.

Peace! -Sensei

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