Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Oh wow, my blog is back to normal. I’m going to make a flying leap of assumption and thank the *mysterious* Mr.Passerby on my tagboard. Yay!

This keyboard is dangerous by the way. I’m using one at Aniraz’s office, and it has a sticky backspace key. I try to delete one letter and it gets stuck and gobbles up an entire paragraph before I can unstick it. So I’m trying to type accurately, which of course means slowly.

One of my morning students cancelled so now I’m wasting time in Aniraz’s office until it’s time for my nest class to start. So far I’ve:

messed up my blog template and gone back to the original.

checked my email four times

Deleted all the porn that someone has downloaded onto this compuyter. :::haha:::

And read through various blogs.

And there’s just an hour to go. I know that some people can spend hours and hours on the internet and be perfectly entertained, but I don’t know how they do it. I have sent Aniraz cryptic and useless IM messages (she’s in the next office) but so far it’s a one-sided conversation. Now I’m just complaining. Shame alaina. Have a laff instead. I’ll try to blog properly when I get home this evening.

Literary Taunts

“A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.”

–Louis Nizer

“I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”

–Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man & worships his creator.”

–John Bright

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

–Winston Churchill

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”

–Winston Churchill

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

–Irvin S. Cobb

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

–Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

–William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”

–Ernest Hemingway about (William Faulkner)

“He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.”

–David Lloyd George

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”

–Moses Hadas

“His ears made him look like a taxicab with both doors open.”

–Howard Hughes (about Clark Gable)

“He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.”

–Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”

–Paul Keating

“He had delusions of adequacy.”

–Walter Kerr

“There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”

–Jack E. Leonard

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”

–Abraham Lincoln

“You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.”

–Groucho Marx

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”

–Groucho Marx

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”

–Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.”

–Thomas Brackett Reed

“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.”

–James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”

–Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”

–Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”

–Mark Twain

“A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.”

–Mark Twain

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

–Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

–Mae West

“She is a peacock in everything but beauty.”

–Oscar Wilde

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

–Oscar Wilde

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

–Oscar Wilde

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”

–Billy Wilder

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.”

–Andrew Lang

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