Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Islam, Autism, Mom-ism.

Gone fishing. Sensei will be back after Dec 3rd. Till then, love, peace and chikken grease! Ma’Assalam 🙂 **** By The Steeds By the steeds and the sparks of their hooves I am, to my Lord, an ungrateful horse Here I stand tethered without any rope Without any harness except that of hope Free and…

Continue Reading

I was going to write a blog about how Eid here is one day later than everywhere else in the world, and how some of our leaders –ahem ahem- are complete morons. But then I remember that my momma told me that if I couldn’t say anything nice, I shouldn’t say anything at all. :::glares…

Continue Reading

Ate…tooo….much…haleem…. Can’t…move… *gasp* Eid Mubarak! *passes out*

Once upon a time, thirteen years ago, itty-bitty Sensei was dropped head-first into Pakistan, and therefore, into Urdu. Having previously had an Urdu vocabulary of ZERO, she learned Urdu through what some people would call the ‘immersion method.’ I would call it ‘sink or swim,’ and I would also say that years later, I’m barely…

Continue Reading

Sensei’s blogging at 3 am again. Left Brain: Are we not asleep yet? Right Brain: You’re asking me? You’re the one who approved that last cup of chai. We’ve had enough chai to kill a horse. :::pause::: LB: I like horses. RB: Me too. LB: Do horses like chai? ::::pause::: RB: We’ll have to find…

Continue Reading

1

Before I begin I must make a disclaimer. Sensei believes strongly in intellectual property rights, and does not purchase pirated software. However, when Sensei is bored out of her brain, she will occasionally play other peoples.’ Remember kids, always buy original CD’s. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog. Adventures in Blogistan Presents:…

Continue Reading

1

Well, we’re here. We’ve made it to Karachi, and by way of a lawn chair, parked by a CPU on the floor and sitting in front of a monitor that’s perched on someone’s dresser, we’ve also made it back into Blogistan. Right, so back to blogging. The flight from Islamabad to Karachi was short, and…

Continue Reading

Karachi-trip shopping list: Vitamins C, E, and Calcium- For healthy immunity, skin and bones. Mosquito Repellant- For the preservation of sanity and dignity :::scratch scratch scratch::: Anti-Itch Cream- Because mosquito repellant never works anyway. Bar of White Chocolate- To keep up troop morale during said shopping excursion Warm Fuzzy Chenille Shawls [2]- For the aunts…

Continue Reading

Well comrades, I’m not sure what the proper protocol is for disappearing for three weeks, but here we go. We’re off to chill with the Khandaan (extended family), a place of fantastic familial madness, playing cards and drinking tea all night (AFTER Ramadan), cheating at board games, and squeezing people that you haven’t seen all…

Continue Reading

It’s been an interesting afternoon. Not only have I dropped an entire kilo of chickpeas on the floor and then chased after them, I recovered most of them too. Except the ones that have rolled under the fridge. They can stay there until Qiyamat comes for all I care. It serves them right for trying…

Continue Reading

3 am, Village Time. The night watchman (chawkidaar) is walking up and down the same ½ kilometer strip. He has a whistle, which he blows intermittently, without any regularity. He fweets when he pleases. Just now he poked his head into the small shop where four tailors work and sleep, and he fweeted away till…

Continue Reading

Narrated by Abu Hurairah: The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessing of Allah be upon him, has said: “The food for two persons is sufficient for three, and the food for three persons is sufficient for four persons.” -Sahih Al-Bukhari As I type this, I am nodding and groaning at the same time. Why, oh why,…

Continue Reading

It’s 3:39 am and here I am, downstairs, on the computer, in the dark, by myself. And it’s cold too. So now you sez, Abez, go to bed! And I sez, I just came from bed. I lay there for exactly 2 hours and 14 minutes before making my escape. Then you sez, Why were…

Continue Reading

My lips cracked today while I was fasting. It didn’t feel very deep at the time, but when I saw a small red drop suddenly appear on the floor by my feet, I realized they were bleeding. My first thought was, gross. My second thought was, Oh My God. One drop of blood. This may…

Continue Reading

Sensei Feels Soggy. By soggy she means deflated. By deflated she means defunct. By defunct she means out of order. You know what she means. It is sometimes said that things have to get worse before they get better. This pithy maxim is dedicated to Ahmad, who mentioned on my tag board that my posts…

Continue Reading

Alright folks, without further ado, here’s is Brother Sven’s version of what’s going on here…:p whoa, ok, hold your horses for a sec here… Abez, is that my bio?? (off the record: remember guys, girls always exaggerate qualities to make Prince Charming look just a little better). I’m compelled to do some tafseering here… Alias:…

Continue Reading

Ok ok, enough about my engagement. And brother Sven will send a guest-post when he can, but at the moment he’s busy writing a thesis titled: Ethical Ramifications and Grounds for the Cross-Ambulation of Certain Poultry Across Certain Roads in the 21st Century: A Paradigm. What did you think they studied in Theology of Veterinary…

Continue Reading