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Have a Hamster-Flavored Day

A mangy looking guy goes into a restaurant and orders a hamburger. The waiter shakes his head and says, “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.”

The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you have never seen before, will you give me the food?”

“Deal!”

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster and puts it on the counter. The hamster runs to the end of the counter, across the room, and up the piano. He jumps on the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin tunes.

The waiter says, “Wow, you’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is a really good piano player.”

He brings the man a hamburger, which he promptly eats and asks for another.

“Money or another miracle,” says the waiter.

The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the counter, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the counter runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says, “It’s a deal.” He takes the money. The stranger takes the frog and runs out of the restaurant.

The waiter says. “Are you crazy? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions.”

“Nah,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist.”

*****

A carpet-layer finishes installing a wall-to-wall carpet at a woman’s house and reaches into his pocket for a cigarette. They’re not there. He looks around the room and sees a small bump in the middle of the newly-installed carpet.

‘Damn,’ he thinks, ‘I don’t want to have to tear the whole carpet out just to get the cigarettes.’

He looks at his hammer and gets an idea. He pounds the bump until it is flat and the carpet is smooth once again. Just then the lady of the house walks in holding a pack of cigarettes.

‘I found these on the dining table,’ she says handing them to him. ‘By the way, have you seen my pet hamster?’

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