Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

My mother told us she wanted she wanted a parrot for her birthday. She didn’t specify what color it should be, or whether or not it should be edible…The devilish looking horns were added on after the party btw, just for effect. 🙂 Posted by Hello

Sensei Presents: An exciting day and a boring blog

Everyone has a limit. Mine is 3 am. Precisely. The laws of Abezistan clearly state that I only have to lay in bed in the dark pretending to be asleep until 3 am. After 3 am night is over and any extra-bed excursion count as ‘waking up really early’ instead of ‘staying up really late.’

So today I’m up really early (it’s 3 am), typing in the dark and enjoying the basement ambience. Today was my momma’s birthday and we had an adventure. The basement flooded and then a pipe busted and there was boiling hot water squirting up to the ceiling and soaking into the electrical converters, which then started smoking. A very bad habit it is too, causes cancer & stuff. So then we had to tie the pipe up with a nylon. Then we had to turn the water off to the basement. Then we had no water in the basement. Then all the leaking water flooded the septic system and my bathroom flooded. Then there was panic and much gnashing of teeth as smelly water backed onto my bedroom floor and prevented access to basically everything in the bedroom. Boy was that exciting…

After the plumber came over and contained the emergency (I say contained, not fixed) we jazzed up the upstairs part of the house, wrapped my momma’s gifts and had us a party-sharty. There was drinks (milk), hot chicks (I was sweating), dancing (my mom did a one-man congo line around the table) and groovy tunes.

We also went out to KFC for dinner, not because we’ve bought in to the absurd trend that KFC in Pakistan counts as fine dining, but because we said, “Hey mom, what do you want for dinner on your birthday?” and she answered, “Fried Chicken!”

Certain local bloggers are invited over for leftover birthday cake. You know who you are. I’ll just go slice you guys some pieces. Not that I’m eating leftover birthday cake late at night. Oh no, I’m eating it early in the morning.

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