This, folks, is the beginning of the scatter-braindedest travelogue that ever was, and ever will be. For I, Abez, will not be recounting my vacation in chronological order, but rather, by subject, and nuts to sequence.
Amreekistan Part I: Snot snot snot, I’ve got a lot.
Of all the exciting places I saw in the US, the one where I sent the most time was the cold & flu remedy section of Walgreen’s pharmacy. It was a lovely place, all clean and shiny and packed from ceiling to floor with colourful boxes of cold remedies I couldn’t have:
Nyquil- 10% Alcohol.
Robitussin Cough & Cold Gelcaps- Gelatin
Walgreen’s Cough Syrup: 15% Alcohol
I racked up countless hours reading, re-reading and comparing ingredients of cough & cold medicines, most of which were unsuitable and other of which were ineffective.
AlkaSeltzer Cold: effervescent nothing
After an extensive (and somewhat expensive) trial and error study of the cold remedy section, the judges finally declared the winners!
Tylenol Cold: Multi-symptom Night time Complete.
Tussin (generic) cough & cold syrup. Alcohol-free!
A combination of Tylenol and the occasional chug of Tussin straight from the bottle helped get poor Abez through the last three snotty weeks in the US, but true relief came only when we (the nose and I) touched back down on Pakistani soil and had the best cold remedy of all, Haleem.
You may laugh, but the first bite of super-spicy cleared my sinuses instantly and more effectively than any of the over the counter medicines I brought from the US. It was also tastier, and the side effects were limited to burning mouth, watery eyes, and fullness. This is compared to the Tussin cough-syrup, which caused jitteryness, sleeplessness, and voices. Lots of them. Whenever I laid down to sleep, I found that the silence in my head had been interrupted by an endless chattering of unconnected thoughts.
Cold cold cold, this bed is cold. Like ice cream. Yummy. Wonder if there will be ice cream at the camp mess hall today. Mess, what a mess, there was mud all the way from the door to the bunk beds, and it had to be mopped up. Yep. Up. Ice cream?
I maintain that the side-effects still linger, because I would like an excuse for the ridiculousness of this blog. Humor me folks, I drank too much cough syrup.