Wish List

Having surfed through millions of blogs in my zillions of years online (hyperbole anyone?) I’ve often come across people’s wish lists. They’re usually filled with books and cool little gadgets that they probably won’t ever buy for themselves but hey it never hurts to hope right? I’m not going to dissect the purpose of putting a wish list on your blog and display its remains for critical analysis, instead, I will shallowly say they’re cool and wish I had one. I would have one, if fact, if it weren’t for two major reasons:

Reason number one: I’m too darned lazy to first register somewhere, then add the wish list html and then surf to find things I want. Pssshhh I know what I want, I don’t need to pick the stuff from online. It probably won’t be there anyway, which leads to reason number two:

Reason number two: most of what I want isn’t for sale. Like the cat I saw sitting convincingly on the seat of a motorcycle today. I want that cat. But do you think they offer that on amazon.com? Not likely.

I don’t want stuff so much as I want things. That doesn’t make any sense, but here’s what I mean, here’s my wish list.

I want pythons. I want my biceps to be so (reasonably) big that the NRA will call and ask me to register my guns. *flex* Indirectly, that means I want to be stronger and in better shape. If they sold that on ebay they’d be millionaires.

I want a stainless steel spatula: Honestly. For flipping things really stylishly. I want it to have super-powers, I want my flying pancakes to do double and triple flips through the air before landing perfectly in the plate and being awarded a perfect 10 by all the judges.

I want a bunch of little birds that go pip-pip. Yellow ones and blue ones and bright red ones that would bounce happily around and twitter nice morning songs. I couldn’t keep them in a cage because I hate seeing birds caged (except for parrots, who are so ornery and so destructive that they deserve it) and I would want my little pip-pip birds to fly around but not fly away. Yes, that is too much to ask. I know.

I want a pair of socks that never get dirty and never ball up underneath your toes and make your feet uncomfortable. I’m a sock connoisseur and I have yet to be perfectly satisfied. I bought a great pair of socks the other day for Rs.15 (special price, just for you Baji) and I thought I had found sock nirvana, but after wearing them I realized the dye wasn’t fast and my feet had turned black. Pretty. Pretty Weird.

I want a Rood Inverse tattoo. Don’t ask.

I want Ihsan. I want to pray like I can see God, and if not that, to at least remember that He is seeing me. I want that deep shuddery feeling every time. Also not available for purchase.

I want a flying carpet. It is my personal and somewhat disconnected belief that the whole flying carpet legend came from prayer rugs. You have to admit, when you’re sitting on one it does kind of look like you’re expecting it to go somewhere. Plus, since it’s somewhat holy, the idea of it taking off doesn’t seem too far fetched.

I want a wrinkle-free wardrobe.

I want whirled peas for everyone.

I want my family to be happy.

I want to meet everyone in Jannah for the best. party. ever.

What do you wish for?



Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on Muslimmatters.org.

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