Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Islam, Autism, Mom-ism.

Introducing Mr. Abez

So we’re back from the UAE. I got: A fez Baklava A husband Any questions?

coming soon

hold yer horses here people, update coming soon to a theater near you. 😉

tee. hee.

We’re off to the Rainbow Steak House for a partee shartee. Biryani is being served. If you know what I mean. wink wink.


Today is our third day in the UAE and to be honest, I’ve spent most of it sleeping. I just woke up from my second nap today (the first was an hour, this one was three) and I have to say, man, I needed that. As far as desert countries are concerned, this one is…

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uae a-ok!

UAE Vignettes: This morning in the airport lounge, I went to do wudu for Fajr. As I walked into the bathroom and began my religious splishy-splash, I noticed a Pakistani woman come in behind me. She was dressed in a fancy green shalwar-qameez and she had a little girl, maybe one and a half years…

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the part of the roller coaster where you go up

Um, I haven’t had lunch yet and I still have clothes at the tailors. Two, they’re at two different tailors. Chai is on the way to wine and dine us at Chez Daddy. While out, I’ll harass my tailor. (Riaz Saab, barai mahrbani, is ki daman pay double siali marna, varna ajeeb lagay ga!) My…

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one, two, package my shoe…

*phew* 2 am and now I get to sit down. But only for a bit. I have to pack my shoes. Yes, I’m packing two days in advance. Yes, my shoes are in little plastic bags. Yes, I’m weird like that. But I’m really excited! Wheee!


The time is 4:42. It’s t-minus 78 minutes until guests arrive tonight, but we can’t be cooking or cleaning because someone (acutally, 12 someones) has rather unexpectedly showed up to view the house. They’re getting the tour upstairs while we, the scullions, hide downstairs with flour on our shirts, food waiting in the oven and…

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Friday, Friday Friday!

So here’s my big Friday blog: we’re going to the UAE! Yay! My ‘rents are going to the UAE to check out property and new acquisitions and they’re taking us along! Shopping, baybee! I’m going to stuff myself on cream cheese and shawarma and stuff! Stuff! They didn’t want to take us, and I started…

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nya nya!

I’m not updating until Friday. Hold your breath until then. I am too.


Who was he that said The immortal spirit is dead, Or how dared he say Hope’s sun hath passed away? An enemy of the sun, Standing his roof upon, Bound up both his eyes And cried: ‘Lo, the sun dies!’ –Rumi Also folks, Hemmie is doing research for homework and needs you to answer some…

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my little brother the lethal weapon

So today I had my first karate lesson. Hi-YA! In case you’re wondering, I never found a female martial arts instructor, but I do have the next best thing. Or at least a somewhat good thing. Ok, I have an instructor who makes fun of my coordination. He elbowed me in the head. I kicked…

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mind your p’s and q’s?

There are times and places in life where you need to be on your best behavior, and there are times and places where it’s better if you’re not. Take, for example, Crayon’s house. That is not a place for your best behavior. Am I déclassé? Maybe, but so far, Crayon doesn’t mind, and I love…

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Despite all my rage: happy rat in a cheerful cage.

In somewhat obscure and indirect reference to what I’m about to blog about, I’m going to type out a passage from Slaughterhouse-Five. The Englishman got up in the stage, and he rapped on the arm of the throne with a swagger stick, called, “Lads, lads, lads- can I have your attention please?” And so on….

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up, up away in my beautiful balloon

Went out for dinner with my momma and the giant little brother. My little brother stole a balloon for me. Granted, it had been floating on the restaurant ceiling for over an hour with no one to claim it, and the kid who let it go probably left a long while ago, but still. After…

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curse you, and your beard too.

There’s a lot I want to write about, things I want to say but don’t know how to properly introduce into the paragraph. How do you go about deciding whether or not you’re Islamic enough? How do you decide whether or not your life and time have been a waste? I recently met someone who…

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I don’t wanna blog

You can’t make me! nya-nya-nya! hahaaaa!