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The Husband Files: 1:32 am

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HF: Could I shave my head?

Me: No.

HF: Come on, what would happen if I shaved it all off, my beard too, and started over.

Me: Then you’d look like how you did before, but with a period of baldness in the middle.

*pause*

HF: Could I grow a moustache?

ME: No.

HF: Come on, just a little big one.

Me: A what one?

HF: I’ll just grow it on the left side, ok?

Me: No! You’re nuts! You can’t grow a mustache!

HF: Fine.

*pause*

HF: Can you grow a mustache?

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