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Monthly Archives: June 2006

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Greetings from Captain Snot-tastic

The space-ship Cognition navigates through a dense, interstellar mass. The ship’s thrusters sputter and choke on what appears to be a green, swirling entity of viscous goo. The engines stall and the ship, drained of power, begins listing starboard in the sticky mass. The camera zooms out and pans away as the ship begins its eternal drift, lost in the Snot Zone.

So yeah, I had a Thought, but it got lost in my head- my head being full of snot. I seem to have a semi-regular occurrance of the Uncommon Cold- at least once a year I will be invaded, commandeered, and ransacked by a horde of germs so vile and so crafty that they could not possibly be of this earth. So I’ve decided they’re from space.

*fits tinfoil more snugly over head*

The aliens are getting their kicks by turning up the space-ship’s furnace and then turning it suddenly off again, so the poor crew is first all sweaty and then all cold. Alhamdulillah, the Germs seem to have spared Bebeface from the invasion, and HF seems well too. I’m the only one in the house who’s sick, which leads me to believe that my immune system must have betrayed me, and I’m wondering which of the bits sold out. Traitors.

I have a date to go play at The Chateau (the magical castle where Owlie and Momma live) but I’m thinking of postponing it for yet another day. It’s not nice to come bearing germs, especially alien germs. And it’s also not nice to use up all the tissues in the house. And it’s even worse to use up all the toilet-paper when the tissues have all been used. And I had a thought, but the aliens have it now.

So I’m going back to bed. Captain Snot-tastic, over and out.

Ten, err, five things you didn’t know about me. But now you do. So there.

1. I am copping out of a real post and instead doing a five minute post while simultaneously rocking Bebeface to sleep and also needing to clean the house as soon as he finally decides to snooze.

2. I hum X-mas carols. All year long.

3. I once sewed a pair of pants that had one leg stitched on the wrong way- Up.

4. I am the daughter of a practicing, Sunday School teaching infidel, hehe. (Hi Mom! I love you!)

5. I need to vaccum. Bebeface is asleep and it’s time to clean ze house now, hooray!

This post will be continued later. In the mean time, have some doggerel, fresh from the pound. :p