I should have known what was coming when I saw how close the box of q-tips was to the edge. I should have moved them when I placed Khalid on the bed to change his diaper. I should have known that a kid who has mastered spitting up not on my shirt, but in my shirt, would be able to take advantage of the q-tips’ precarious position.
Bebe’s Plan for Revenge for Putting Bebe to sleep last night at the wee hour of 11.
Step 1: Pre-place box of 200 q-tips on the edge of bed.
Step 2: Soil diaper.
Step 3: Allow self to be placed on bed and freed of diaper, thus exposing lethal weaponry.
Step 4: Kick Q-tips off of bed, scattering them precisely within range of lethal weaponry.
Step 5: Allow mother to stoop to pick up q-tips, foolishly leaving lethal weaponry exposed.
Step 6: Ready.
Step 7: Aim.
Step 8: FIRE!
Step 9: Beam joyously as you soak momma’s back in a fresh, steady stream of revenge.