Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Monthly Archives: October 2007

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The rules of Salah- the Muslim Prayer

Dear Worshipers- Brothers and Sisters in Islam:

AssalamuAlaikum,

When standing in prayer, it is important that your feet be shoulder-width apart, possibly more, to ensure that there is enough space for me to crawl through.

The placing of one’s face on the ground in submission to God, known as Sajda, must not be so short that I miss the opportunity to climb your head, nor so long as to bore me. Also, in the event of an insufficient Sajda, I consider it my responsibility to put both hands to your rear-end and push your head back down onto the floor.

The lifting of the finger in Tashahud- the witness of faith- is an open invitation to go for a walk, if you put your finger up, I will grab it and walk away with your hand.

It is a unanimously accepted by the scholars that laughing aloud will break your salah, even if I am laying between your feet and grinning at you with all 12.5 of my teeth.

Speaking aloud during prayer is viewed similar to laughing, and so is yelping, and in the event of your ankle being bitten, do not cry out.

Unnecessary moving around during prayer is disliked, as it reflects a lack of focus and inattention to what is supposed to be a private conversation with God- an act of worship. Therefore, do not reach for your phone or keys, even if I am walking away with them, even if I am sending everyone in your address book blank messages, even if I am making international phone calls. Concentrate on your prayer and hope to God I am dialing somewhere within the Gulf.

May Allah guide us all,
-Bebeface

The Husbandfiles: Home Sweet Home

Photobucket

6 am

Me: Waleed, it’s six o’clock, it’s time for you to wake up and get ready for work.
HF: That’s one fraudulent opinion…
Me: Waleed, come on, you need to get up
HF: And you need to grow a mustache.
Me: -blink blink-

-pause-

HF: -waking up slightly- Hand me my cell phone?

So, umm… September?

Let’s see, where did September go…

Part of it was in the US, where I met up with Owlie and Momma and the rest of mi Familia, and had an awesomely crazy time hanging out with Selina and meeting Yasmine and Anju and a massive slew of other people at ISNA. Also, got horribly sick, and crash Baji’s place in DC where Khalid threw up on her couch. Ah, good times…

There is a lot about the US trip that I just can’t remember anymore, and it’s fading even faster now that I have new memories from NZ to forget too! But there were some highlights, specifically, my heroes.

My Amtrack Hero: For doing the 45-min wait at the ticket counter (the man in front of me was trying to get 50% off his ticket with a voucher they had never seen before) and then the mad rush to get on the train with one baby, one car seat, one stroller, and two suitcases just three minutes before the train departed all while dodging unfriendly co-passengers in a crowded train station- Owlie is my Amtrack Hero. As well as my Chicago Chauffeur, as well as my darling and my hamburger. And I miss her lots and lots. And I hope you Bostonians are taking good care of her because otherwise THERE IS GOING TO BE TROUBLE! (I’ll send Khalid to throw up on your couches, nya!)

My DC Heroes: For coming back on his lunch break to take snotty, sick, fevery cranky Khalid and I to DC Children’s Hospital so Khalid could see a doctor, as well as grab our extra suitcase from the Amtrack station, all while providing gourmet culinary support (fabulous, fabulous omlette and salad) TP- Baji’s husband, is one of my DC Heroes. The other is Baji herself, who braved traffic and pregnancy-brain to pick us up from the airport, provide us awesome hosting, leave us notes and maps, pick up prescriptions and order us take-out. Baji is my other DC Hero. You guys renew my faith in humanity. Please come to Dubai, please. There’s a huge kindness that’s dying to be repaid.

My Chicago Hero: Selina is my Chicago Hero, for being the most accommodating hostess, shopping buddy, and junk-food connoisseur- in one breakfast we had muffins, donuts, pastries, cereal… as well as rides all over the place, and directions when we got lost, and complete dominion over her living-room. >>>hugs<<< Selina, you are just too lovely. 🙂 And now that I can’t remember anything else, and also because Khalid is asleep, I end this post now with a promise to update again soon, and next time, it’s going to be pretty darn amazing. I promise. Trust me. 😉 Over & Out!