Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Monthly Archives: February 2008

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An Update from Behind Enemy Lines

I saw Bee Movie last night, but that doesn’t make me feel any better right now- the kitchen and living room have been invaded by bees.

A whole. lotta. bees.

You will notice that every word in the above sentence has been italicized for emphasis. Whole has been emphasized in conjunction with Lotta, to accurately convey the dozens and dozens of big, fat, bees buzzing around my kitchen, crawling on the counters, partying in the trash can and banging their heads against the window that isn’t open. Bees has been italicized to emphasize that in addition to being many, the invaders are also Bees of all things. Ants are tolerable, moths are annoying but harmless, flies are well within manageability, but bees?

(Why couldn’t I have been invaded by squirrels? At least squirrels are cute, and I’d rather be bitten than stung.)

I suppose it’s my fault for opening a window on this lovely, sunny, breezy day, but by the same logic, it will be the bees’ own fault for being on the wrong side of that window when HF gets home to rescue me! He’s bringing bug spray! My Hero! Take that, bees!

Also, the movie stunk.

-sigh-

Oh hey, we have internet now! Alhamdulillah, as of this morning, a nice man from Etisalat came and set up the DSL line. Granted, he came at 9:30, and if he had been anyone else I would have turned him away at the door for showing up at such an ungodly hour. Trust me, 9:30 is very, very early when you have:

-gone to bed at 1 the night before
-woken up repeatedly throughout the night w/a sick, screamy toddler
-the flu

HF, Khalid and I are all out of commission w/the flu, and now, in addition to my lil home being a quarantine unit, it’s also a battlefield. The reinforcements are still many minutes away, and they still have to stop at a store and buy bug spray before they get home, so further hooray for DSL. Now I have something to do while I hide here in the bedroom and wonder if bees know how to crawl under doors.

On a non-invasive note, Baby 2.0 is doing fine, kung-fu’ing as usual, trying to push my ribs out of the way and trying to defensively wiggle away from Khalid, who thinks my enormous stomach is a great place to climb, drive toy cars on, and try to sleep on. I have officially run out of lap, and am at week 36.

It’s 1:45 now, and I guess lunch is on hold until the kitchen is reclaimed. HF should get home soon, I think I’m going to lay down and see if I can catch a few min of zzz’s before he does.

Peace & Chikken Grease
-Abez & Co.

There’s a Ninja Turtle on my grill

It’s Donatello, actually, and I believe he was a Happy-Meal gift from Bebe’s crazy aunt, Owlie. I noticed that this morning, as I was microwaving Khalid’s cereal, and HF’s matter of fact reply was, “Of course, he’s keeping it safe.”

Which brings me to an interesting realization- I, Abez, am nearing 28, am the mother of 1.9 children (Mystery Bean is due in abt 3 weeks) and the maintainer of my own lil house, and it is guarded by Ninja Turtles. And populated with a thriving community of boxes. And stocked with things like granola bars and frozen strawberries and four different kinds of cereal. And I have wall to wall carpeting, and one sofa, and no dining table, and no phone and no internet access, but my cabinets are meticulously organized, except for the ones where I have crammed things in and then closed the door real fast so things don’t topple back out.

I am One. Weird. Adult.

Also, I am nine months pregnant, Alhamdulilah, and getting to that point in pregnancy where I’m running out of space for things like eating, breathing, and maneuvering through doors. Mystery Bean will be due soon, InshaAllah, and sad but true, that will mean even less blogging. I’m trying to not feel guilty about that, since my primary obligations seem to belong mostly to my lil tribe. 🙂

Speaking of whom, the natives are getting restless, and are heading my way with a spatula in one hand. Time to save and publish before all is lost in the ambush.

Blog in a bottle-

I tell you, first-born kids have all the luck- Khalid got the Bebefiles and there may be at least a dozen entries devoted to him, but Mystery Bean not only has only the faintest of mentions, but is also frequently bounced up and down on by Khalid, who either has zero idea what’s going on, or every certainty that competition is coming, and is doing his best to squash it early.

People have asked me whether Khalid seems to be reacting to the great, huge bump in my shirt. Well, he does like to drive his toy cars on it, but that’s about it. Umm, and he likes to pet my stomach too, but this recent development isn’t limited to me- he will reach up his HF’s shirt and feel around there, and up my pants legs too, and any opportunity he can get to touch and poke bare skin he will take, regardless of whose it is.

We’re still on borrowed internet time, so I must cut and run, will try to update more soon-

Queen Abez of Boxville