Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Monthly Archives: April 2008

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The Bebefiles: Things Khalid may be up to when it’s too quiet and you haven’t seen him for the last minute or so

Splashing around in the toilet

Eating vaseline

Hammering on the computer chair (with a real hammer)

Hiding behind the curtains with his father’s phone

Opening and closing the CD drive on the laptop repeatedly

Eating laundry soap with a toy spoon (but apparently giving up after just a taste)

Drinking dishwashing liquid (and then throwing up on the kitchen floor)


IMG_1638So Khalid still doesn’t talk. At all. He doesn’t even say Mama. I mean, he does say things like akichigaa and gagin-gagin and mamamamamamaaaaaaa, but nothing with meaning and context.

I’m not worried about his development, just impatient to be able to communicate with him. All of the recommendations about helping ease sibling rivalry and smoothly introducing a new baby to your toddler involve communicating with your child and getting them to help you care for the baby. Multiple mothers, including all you lovely people in my comment box (I apologize for not being able to reply most of the time) recommend the same thing- let your toddler help and the problem will resolve itself.

I completely agree, but ‘please bring me the powder’ is about as meaningful to Khalid as akichigaa is to me. We’re not speaking the same language, and I know he gets frustrated trying to communicate what he wants. I end up handing him everything on the dining table only to find out he wants something from the window-sill behind it.

So how do you involve a non-verbal toddler in caring for a newborn? As it is right now, Khalid probably thinks his sister’s name is Gently. He approaches her, raises his hand, and is greeted with “Khalid jaan, gently. Gently… no whacking! Pat her gently, gently!” I wouldn’t be surprised if it was his first word, heh.

Ah well, Iman is doing well Alhamdulillah, and seems happy and amused at things in general when she’s awake. Alhamdulillah that newborns spend so much time sleeping, it gives me time to lavish some attention on Khalid when I’m not running after him and trying to put the house back together in his wake.

Gots to go, both kids are asleep and their mother needs a shower.

Over & Out,
Abez & Tribe

A toddler, a Newborn and a Paradigm Shift

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. We’ve been home a week and Iman is healthy, happy, and adorable in the squashy, pink, surprised-looking way that newborns are so good at. Khalid, on the other hand, is having a rough time, as we seem to have brought home fierce competition for his Momma’s attention.

When I change Iman’s diaper, it’s with Khalid trying to push me away from the changing station. When I nurse her, her tries to pull her out of my lap, and when she cries, he puts his hands over his ears and starts crying too. They take turns waking up throughout the day and night- Five minutes into Khalid’s nap, Iman woke up. An hour and a half later, Iman went back to sleep. Half an hour after that, Khalid woke up. So we’ve had a rough week, but we’re learning how to cope.

I am determined not only to cope though, but to succeed. Succeed at what? Ah, now there’s the paradigm shift- a paradigm shift being a radical change of perspective- The standard of a productive, successful day once included a clean house, a freshly-cooked meal, a well maintained toddler and at least two hours of work. But that was the standard for Abez and Khalid. The standard for Abez and Khalid and Iman involves a house, a meal, and two alive children.

Work is not a possibility.
Getting dressed is optional.
Lunch today was peanut butter.

So, according to the new standards, we’re not doing half bad! Look, we’ve even found a little time to write a blog! (Iman is asleep, Khalid is being fed breakfast) We’ve also found time to dig out our box of pre-maternity wardrobe, try things on, and then be both horrified and amazed- (Horrified that we seem to be so very far away from buttoning anything, amazed that we were able to just a few months back.)

But I digress- it’s been a bumpy ride, but we’re moving forward Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah- The Mystery Bean Arrives!

Lil Naughty Baby Girl Iman has arrived, Alhamdulillah. 3.7 kilos, 11 days after her due date, and 1 day before she was scheduled for eviction.

Will update more shortly, have not yet opened my mailbox.