No more monkeys jumping on the bed!

One little Iman jumping on the bed
She fell off and bumped her head!
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said:
Take her to the ER, she might need stitches.

As life imitates art (or vice-versa?) Iman smashed her head against the corner of a dressing table while jumping on Momma’s bed and initiated herself into the world of the Mortal Wound. And what a dramatic initiation it was- twenty minutes of crying and bleeding profusely and refusing to hold still, blood on her clothes and on her face as she tried to make the pain go away by vigorously rubbing at it. (Note: this doesn’t work)

We did eventually get the bleeding to stop, and then packed her into the car and off to the emergency room in Abu Dhabi. We were seen right away, Alhamdulillah, and were asked only once- “So ma’am, what is the prob- oh. Richard, dressing for the baby please!” Iman was in a fairly good mood, the pain having subsided, and we even went through a few rounds of ‘Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,’ to the amusement of the ER staff. Iman bobbed up and down and tapped on her own head for emphasis, and appropriately shook her head and held out a very stern finger at the final line. But then the fun was over because it was time to actually do something about the hole in her forehead.

In case you’ve ever wondered what the Iman:Normal Human ratio of intensity is, I think it’s three to one. That’s how many people it takes to hold her down so that one nurse can push the edges of the wound together while another paints it with glue, fans it dry, paints it again, fans some more, and then lays down steri-strips, and then clear plastic bandage to background shrieking of “No! Wait! All Done! No No No! Mommaa!”

When it was all done and Iman’s hands were finally freed, she made an angry grab at the bandages on her forehead. Ouch! she cried out in genuine surprise. She frowned, sniffled, thought for a moment, and then tried again. Ouch! *pout*. Cindy and I were trying desperately to not laugh out loud, and we waited to see whether she would do it again. She did. Ouch! *pout* We gave her a glass of water and some tic-tacs, and with both hands full, she stopped taking swipes at herself.

She fell asleep in the car on the way home, woke up in the morning happy, and seems to have forgotten about last night’s trauma. Today Cindy and I moved the furniture around in the bedroom, and the new arrangement is awkward, but at least there is nothing forehead puncturing in the vicinity of the bed. Alhamdulillah, we were blessed that Iman did not get the corner of the dresser in her eye, and I’m not going to risk it.

No more monkeys jumping on the bed!


Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on

  1. Uncle Veirdo

    I am a bit perturbed that you passed on to her the “mortal wounds” gene BUT from what you described of her pulling the bandages, could this also be the beginning of some cognitive dissonance, LB/RB if you will. YAY! Cos’ you sure as hell started sucking in that department. High time we got a replacement. Oh, and nice new layout.

  2. Abez

    Uncle Veirdo- I didn’t stop having LB/RB conflict, it just got more complicated and less likely to make a good soundbyte. So one could say that rather than sucking at it, I have begun to excel at it, but the content is no longer silly and the volume is no longer manageable. In other words, too serious, and too much. 🙂

  3. Niqabi

    I do still read your blog from like when you first started back in Islamabad (I think) and I’ve always been a silent reader. Just cant get myself to say anything of benefit so keep it quiet. But I have to say that sometimes your thoughts feel like theyve been copy-pasted from mine! Honestly and I’m not exaggerating one bit, especially about the part where you worry and fret over your children and their future and how would you teach them to be a better, stronger person. Love your lessons as well, breath strength into a mother!

    Jazakallah for finding the time to post your thoughts, it really helps sometimes.


  4. Abez

    AssalamuAlaikum Niqabi! Why the assumption that it wouldn’t help me to know that somewhere out there, some other Muslim Momma is stressing out about whether their children will be good people and good Muslims and a benefit to their Ummah before they’ve even been potty-trained. 🙂

  5. Niqabi

    lol, thats true! Do you have any plans of moving out like in the near future? How’s Zarina doing? Where’s she based at? If you ever plan to come to england please let me know. I know you have loads of other friends but I’d love to see you and your kids insha’Allah.

    Take care, much love, wasalams.

  6. Abez

    Zarina’s good, she lives in Dubai with her brand spanking-new husband, MashaAllah, and you know, I’ve never been to English except for plane transits? But if I do, I now have one extra reason to. Lil Grey Crayon, the closest thing I have to an elder sister, lives there too. You should meet her, she’s fun. 🙂

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