Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Abez is

AbezAbez is:

  • 50% White
  • 50% Pakistani
  • Muslim
  • Mommaย of
    • Khalid, a special little boy with autism
    • Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair
    • Musfira, an especially cheeky toddler with especially cheeky cheeks
  • Writer & Editor
  • Graphic Designer
  • Social entrepreneur and corporate communications consultant
  • Writer for MuslimMatters.org
  • Blogger
  • Tweeter @zebasez
  • Autism awareness advocate

Supporting cast:

  • HF- The Husband Friend. Like a halal boyfriend, but better ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • Owlie- The big-eyed, nocturnal younger sister www.degrouchyowl.blogspot.com
  • Joy- Khalid’s previous full-time ABA therapist from 2007-2010, who would most likely be commanding a naval fleet somewhere if she wasn’t working in special needs.
  • Cindy- A previous housekeeper/DIY Electrician and novice carpenter. ย A hundred pounds soaking wet, but don’t get on her bad side when she’s using the power drill!
  • Carol (Abez’s Momma) who posts supportive, glowing, and overly kind comments, just like a mother should. ๐Ÿ™‚

22 Thoughts on “Abez is

  1. ASA,

    I really love your blog. Can you tell me if you accept submissions? We just released an educational App in Arabic that I would like to tell you about.

    JAK,
    Reem

  2. Daniah on July 18, 2013 at 5:28 AM said:

    Assalamualikum, Ramadan Mubarak! I am so happy I ran into your blog (through Muslim Matters). What caught my eye was that your son has Autism and that you are the director of an ABA program. Having completed my Masters in ABA, I hardly ever find any muslims that are aware of what ABA is and I get blank stares when I tell them what I studied. I worked with kids with Austim for 3 1/2 years before I decided to stay home with my daughter. I LOVED your article on the fail proof iftar with ABA. I try to use ABA with my daughter as much as I can. I would love to find out where you are from so that I can refer others I know that have kids with Autism and are looking for ABA programs.

    JAK,
    Daniah

  3. Walaikum Assalam Daniah- I maintain that ABA is the best thing since sliced bread, and I wonder if people (in real life, not the blog) aren’t yet sick of me telling them how it’ll provide a system for teaching and modifying behaviour in their children that will change their lives. They look at me like I’m about to provide a 1-900 number to call and will be back right after our next commercial break.

    I work for AutismUAE, you can find us online. I’m also- in my head- writing that manual for raising children that everyone wishes the hospital sent them home with, and it’s all about ABA. So please make dua that I eventually get around to it.

    Wa Iyaki,
    -Abez

  4. Chris Ancil - BBC World Service on July 25, 2013 at 5:06 PM said:

    Dear Abez

    I am writing to you from the BBC’s international radio discussion programme, World Have Your Say.

    Today we are discussing the concept of beauty for women in Islam. I saw your blog piece called ‘What I learned about lipstick from my five year old’ and thought that you might be interested in joining the conversation.

    It would be great to speak to you.

    The programme is tonight at 1700 GMT.

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    Best wishes

    Chris

  5. Hi Chris- sorry I didn’t get to your message in time, but I’d be happy to join you for any further programs you think might be relevant. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks!

  6. amel on July 30, 2013 at 6:30 PM said:

    Salam, i ran in to your blog thro muslim matters and i am so glad i did !i just love your style of writing and your articles. i am a mom of a 2 year old. can you educate me about what is ABA so i can effectively use it for the upbringing of my child. Read your article about it but would like to know more in detail to understand it better. I am a first time mom living alone in UAE with my husband so mostly clueless about upbringing of a good muslim since i was not so practicing before. Would like your help i this matter.May Allah reward you n ramadan mubarak.

  7. Salams, whats your take on vaccines causing autism? I searched your blog but couldn’t find an answer. Thanks!

  8. Walaikum Assalam Bee-

    Well, it a nutshell:
    – The study that started that whole vaccines/autism scare by Dr. Wakefield turned out to be a gross medical fraud, and he was paid over 500,000 GBP for his role in anti-vaccine lawsuits as a paid “expert.” He was also applying for a patent for a thimerisol-free vaccine himself, and stood to gain millions if enough people could be scared off of the existing MMR Jab.

    -As a precautionary measure, thimerosol (the mercury-based preservative used in vaccines prior to that study) was removed from most vaccines by 1991. Rates of autism have increased nonetheless. There are still millions of kids with autism born after 1991. My son is one of them.

    -The cumulative amount of mercury in all your childhood vaccines combined is something like .9mcg. There are 28mcg in one tuna sandwich.

    -The leaky-gut theory (whether triggered by mercury or by “viral onslaught”) has failed to manifest itself in repeated study after study, even those funded by anti-vaccine activists. The data simply isn’t there.

    – Emerging data is showing that autism can be predicted as early as in-utero, which means that the brains of babies that develop autism later in life are already forming differently than their neurotypical counterparts, way before their first vaccine.

    – On a side note, Jenny McCarthy’s son was misdiagnosed. He never had autism, but a different neurological condition. She has recently reversed her anti-vaccine stance.

    So yeah- vaccines save lives. No effective medical intervention (whether curative or preventative) is without side effect. That’s a given, but more children are protected from deadly and debilitating childhood illness than those who are harmed as a side-effect of the vaccine. In a simple cost-benefit analysis, the benefit of vaccination to society far outweighs the possible risk/cost.

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. I need help n guidance. Plz reply me .

  10. AssalamuAlaikum Erum, not sure how I can help but I’ll try. The email address you provided is not working btw. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Assalamu Alaikum sis,

    I apologize for not being able to find a better way to contact you about this, but I HIGHLY suggest that you try the Gut and Psychology Syndrome diet. I personally know many people (through online support groups, etc) that have successfully overcome autism and a myriad of autoimmune conditions by healing the gut flora. You can google it yourself if you like, but if you would like more information from me also, and what results I’ve seen others have, you have my email. May Allah reward you for your patience and for your good works, ameen.

  12. Khudejapo on October 18, 2013 at 12:39 AM said:

    Salaams. I came across your article on Muslim Matters ‘look who’s coming out’. I am the editor of a magazine in sunny South Africa called The Muslim Woman’ and would love to reproduce the article with mention of your blog, etc. Please advise if we are able to go ahead and print this most inspirational article which has so many messages that are relevant to how we live our lives.

    InshaAllah hoping to receive a positive response.

    Wasalaam and Jummuah Mubarak to you. May Allah bless you with every thing good and wholesome in this life and the next inshaAllah.

    Khudeja
    South Africa

  13. AssalamuAlaikum Khudeja- sorry to have been late to reply, I think the editor of Muslim Matters has already been in touch & the go-signal has been given. ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. AssalamuAlaikum

    I’ve just read your article on Muslim Matters and felt compelled to contact you. Firstly, can I thank you for writing such a emotional, inspiring and thought provoking piece.

    With all the trials and tribulations my family have encountered in the last few weeks, it feels as though Allah SWT used you as a vessel to personally remind myself and my loved ones just how short and uncertain this life really is.

    A loved one was diagnosed with a serious illness recently and she has drawn much strength and inspiration from your article, whilst she struggles to raise a young family. Furthermore, she is using your article to help to explain to friends and family exactly what she is going through.

    Is there any chance she can contact you or, you contact her direct?
    May Allah SWT reward you.

  15. Dearest Sister,
    Assalamualykum wr wb!

    I am speechless. I really don’t know what to say, except that I am truly humbled and impressed by your work and your struggles. I would like to help in any way I can, Insha Allah. Will go on the fund site as well, Insha Allah.

    I live in Dubai too… would it be possible to meet you sometime? I do the occasional article on my blog as well as for Gulf News etc, perhaps I could talk about AutismUAE? Please, please do get in touch.

    Jazak Allah Khair,

    Mehmudah

  16. AssalamuAlaikum Mehmudah- Well, technically because AutismUAE is not a registered not for profit, I can’t raise funds in the UAE. Good news though, the Internet is not the UAE :p So no Gulf News publicity for me please, though I’m always up for a cup of coffee and meeting new people. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. I woke up this morning and the first thing my parents said after their cheerful salaams was โ€œhow is sister Zeba?โ€ โ€œDid she feel happy reading your facebook message?โ€ โ€œAre you her sister friend? :D!!!โ€ with a huge beaming grin on their faces. They already love you :)! I have a feeling they are going to ask me how you and your kids are often. Ahh, you’ve brought light in our lives. I cannot wait to be your sister friend inshaAllah ๐Ÿ˜€ Hope to talk to you soon <3

  18. JazakAllah Khairan….MashaAllah, you are spreading good far and wide. I really benefited from your writings. Allah reward you immensely. Ameen.

  19. Asalamu-alaykum Abez.
    I am emailing from a muslim community radio station in Cape Town, South Africa.

    I came across your article on muslimmatters.org and read some of your other articles on your blog. I was hoping you would be willing to participate in a programme as a Dynamic Personality to speak about your experiences as a mom, parenting an autistic child and how being diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has changed your outlook on life and death

    Please feel free to contact me via email to [–] or if you agree, we able to do the interview live at 10h00 SAtime ( 08h00 UAEtime) on Tuesday 7 January 2014 or we schedule a recording time that would be appropriate for us all insh-Allah.

    Shukran

  20. Sara Sultana on February 20, 2014 at 8:34 PM said:

    Alsalam o alaikum Abez

    What a treat your words are. Masha Allah. Just read your “Red Wine and Hojabis: A Judgment on being Judgmental” article. Many duas for you, your mother, son, family and your pen.

    Sara
    Pakistan

  21. SamiaS on March 25, 2014 at 1:29 PM said:

    Assalamualaikum
    Well, let me get straight to the point. I noticed you are quite good at answering questions about Islam Mashallah. I came across this blog, keithawynn2011.blogspot.com
    In Keith’s March 5 2014 post titled’Life after death’, Keith poses a question about the hereafter. No one has presented the Islamic perspective in that post yet. I was hoping perhaps you could do so. Jazakallahukhair.

  22. Tariq on June 18, 2016 at 11:49 PM said:

    As salaam alaikum,

    Sister, how effective is ABA therapy?

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