The Husbandtrolls

Me: Did you know that Muslims killed Dracula? HF: That makes sense, Muslims hate fun. Me: That’s the title of the lecture, don’t you remember? HF: “Don’t You Remember?”  That’s a terrible title for a lecture.  *trollface* :p  

Sometimes, I love autism :)

Last week or so- HF decided that we were going to stay up super late (or some of us, nap super late) and then go out and watch the Geminid meteor shower with the Dubai Astronomy Club.  I thought it was a lovely idea.  The grand reveal to the children went something like this: HF:…

Irony

So HF was in a fender-bender today.  He was stopped at a signal and someone ran into the back of his car hard enough to crash his into the next stopped car.  Alhamdulillah, he’s alright and as he cheerfully mentioned: the car needed new bumpers anyway.  It’s still a little unsettling to me though, that…

A happy dance

Coming home, coming home! HF is coming home! After roughly two weeks abroad for work, HF is coming home in three hours.  I told Khalid that Baba would be home by the next morning.  Khalid’s response was: “Oh, I think I will jump all day at school!” “Does that mean you’re excited?” “Yeah!” Me too…

And I quote

HF is preparing to leave for work and sprays himself with cologne. He then grimaces as it burns his post-shave skin. Me: Why spray it on your neck if it burns? Why not spray it somewhere else? HF: Like where? Me: I don’t know, your wrists? HF: Real men don’t wear perfume on their wrists.…

Muslim Matters on Sexual Harassment in Muslim Cultures

Hena Zuberi just published a great, awesome, relevant, necessary, important article about sexual harassment in the Muslim community, and I found myself typing a comment so long it could stand alone.  And I think it should, because the more websites, the more people, the more Muslims talk about sexual harassment, the more people there will…

Identity vs. Nationality vs. Ethnicity

Being half Pakistani, half white, raised in America and living in the UAE, I’ve long ago learned that when people ask me where I’m from, they don’t want to hear ‘Chicago.’ They want to know why I look like an Arab, sound like an American and hang out with a brown guy who bears striking…

Hat? Okay!

  I never thought I’d be so happy to report that my son will just NOT stop babbling. Although his vocabulary has yet to cross the ten-word mark, he has begun to mimic sounds and start conversations with people other than me- the most amusing of which is generally Iman. Khalid will grin excitedly at…

The Husbandfiles: My Hero :)

I have nightmares pretty often these days as my sleeping brain tries to make its own explanation up for why we’re in pain. Though the real reason is full-term pregnancy, my brain thinks it’s zombies. Our stomach hurts not because we have indigestion, but because the zombies got us. Our legs hurt not because of…

The Husbandfiles: Home Sweet Home

6 am Me: Waleed, it’s six o’clock, it’s time for you to wake up and get ready for work.HF: That’s one fraudulent opinion…Me: Waleed, come on, you need to get upHF: And you need to grow a mustache.Me: -blink blink- -pause- HF: -waking up slightly- Hand me my cell phone?

The Husbandfiles: Good days and bad days

There are good days and there are bad days. Some days you may come home from work and the dishes will be dirty and the laundry unfolded. Your wife will grumble a greeting at you as she walks by, still in her pajamas. There will be no dinner cooked and you will have to walk…

Call me Speedy. Ice cream, anyone?

Under normal circumstances, a pregnant woman with a bucket of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other could not possibly outrun her well-intentioned but confectionarily cruel husband. Under current circumstances, where well-intentioned husband is burdened by a plaster cast on his well-sprained ankle, the pregnant woman not only has a chance,…

The Husband Files: 1:32 am

HF: Could I shave my head? Me: No.HF: Come on, what would happen if I shaved it all off, my beard too, and started over. Me: Then you’d look like how you did before, but with a period of baldness in the middle. *pause* HF: Could I grow a moustache? ME: No. HF: Come on,…

Married Life: I am pit crew, hear me roar

So the popular question for everyone who emails me these days is: So, how’s married life? I suppose I should eventually answer the question. Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, I have been blessed. Unlike most weddings in Pakistani culture, mine was not to a complete stranger. It wasn’t even to an acquaintance, it was to a person who…

The Husband Files: DIY Mango Milkshake

My husband has an interesting recipe for mango milkshake. Step 1. Ask your wife to make you a mango milkshake.Step 2. Look forlorn when your wife won’t make you one.Step 2.5 Discover that your wife doesn’t like mangoes.Step 3. Pout.Step 4. Dolefully accept ingredients from wife for do-it-yourself mango milkshake; milk icecubes sugar two mangoes…

Suggardh with a capital Sugg

Being a sensitive technical procedure, pancake production can be adversely affected by multiple factors- the size of the pan, the size of the burner beneath the pan, the type of the spatula, and the qualification of the pancake engineer. It is therefore necessary to generate a few pre-meal proto-types- a few little ones to account…