Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Islam, Autism, Mom-ism.

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Hey, remember when I used to blog?

It was awesome. I loved it. I could just post stuff whenever I wanted to, and it served as an emotional catharsis, a spiritual brain-sorting, and a writerly exercise all in one. I want to restart. Not because I don’t have enough stuff that needs done, but because I am – according to HF –…

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Are you my daughter-in-law?

A young woman with Down’s Syndrome (who has been baking for a long ole time already) gets rejected from too many bakery jobs. So she opens her own bakery. This video made me cry for so many reasons. I’m scared of what my son’s future will hold. I know that him being rejected over and…

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3

Kids Ask: What’s the point of Jummah?

A few minutes before Jummah today, my son came and sat down next to me in a grumpy huff. “Momma, I just don’t understand…” He furrowed his lil brow angrily and said, “What’s the point of Jummah!” I told him I had the answer. But first, we needed candy…

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First Come, First Served; Rubina!

What is your schedule like? I have a 7 month old now, any suggestions on how to be a calm parent, how to give the right tarbiyat, how to incline them towards Islam and the spicy Desi food. – Rubina AssalamuAlaikum Rubina. ūüôā ¬†Children are weird, sticky, lovely, quirky, fascinating miniatures of ourselves- doubly as…

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13

Meh.

I am officially taking my blog back. From whom, you may ask. From myself. ¬†Because one part of me took my blog and claimed it in the name of Writing, while another part of me was like Hey, I was using that for catharsis! What gives! So I’m taking my blog back and claiming it…

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5

Inquiring minds want to know

Someone asked me about Musfira. ¬†Here you go. She’s almost three. She has the tiniest, adorablest, most comically novelty-sized bottom. ¬†MashaAllah. Last week she painted her hair pink. ¬†That was… fun. She got into some makeup and did a fairly decent job. ¬†I wasn’t even mad. When she wakes up it’s morning o’clock. ¬†When she…

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6

Must… not… break… salah!

I’m trying to concentrate on prayer, and the following conversation transpires before me:

Musfira: Iman, canna have a cotton candy?

Iman: Musfira, these are cotton balls, not cotton candy.

Musfira; Notta candy?

Iman: No, it’s not candy. Do you know what this is made of?

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I’m thinking of an animo…

Our lil family has a favorite ¬†game, and the way it’s won is by preserving momma’s sanity with three children and no volume control. ¬†We stick to animals to keep it simple, and a turn always starts with the phrase “I’m thinking of an animal,” followed by three clues. We play the guessing game during…

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5

Really Oughtta be a National Holiday…

Alhamdulillah, our office has finally been moved into the premises of the larger organisation that we are joining. ¬†It’s a real office. ¬†With real people. ¬†And when you’re me, every day is Take Your Toddler to Work Day! I think Musfira likes it so far. ¬†We get up, have breakfast, get out of our pj’s,…

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MAMA, I HEP YOOOO!

These days, there are four magic words from Musfira’s mouth that cause me to go into instant state of anxiousness.

“Mama, I hep yoo!”

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Musfira’s Recipe for Homestyle Chocolate Cupcake

Ingredients:

200 grams of Hersheys unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup (that’s it, one plastic cup)
1 flat, dry work surface. Preferably a coffee table.
20 minutes of suspicious silence…

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Tales of Toddler Genius

Musfira asks Momma for a cookie.

Momma gives Musfira a cookie.

Musfira receives the cookie and folds it carefully into a tissue and…

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Cue Motivational Music… now.

So HF made me write a list of affirmations.¬† Cheesy, I know- but surprisingly effective.¬† Everyone needs an anchor sometimes, and right now, mine is affirmation number one: I am an overachiever. I won‚Äôt bore you with the rest of the affirmations, but that‚Äôs the one I‚Äôm leaning on right now because gosh darnit I…

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Iman’s first blog

GOT THE BIGGEST ICE CREAM ¬†LOVE IMAN Note from Momma: Iman typed this blog by herself, and I had no intention of making any changes, but when autocorrect underlined her spelling of “bigist,” she had to ask why the computer was putting red lines under her words. So we had an impromptu spelling lesson for…

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1

Got caught

I woke up this morning, and I noticed that Musfira was already awake and singing in her crib. I wanted to use the bathroom before picking her up and activating Mommy Mode for the day, so I stood up quickly when she was looking the other way, starting tiptoeing and then-

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The Mother of All Mommaisms

So I went into the bathroom yesterday. ¬†I picked up a kids toothbrush and I squirted some pink, raspberry flavored, fluoride-free toothpaste on it. ¬†Then, I opened my own mouth, popped it in, and got halfway through brushing and humming the toothbrush song before I realized I was on autopilot. I laughed so hard my…

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5

Woulda Coulda Shoulda

I shoulda seen it coming.¬† I felt Musfira make a tiny little gagging sound as I held her over my shoulder.¬† After all, I have three children.¬† I know how ominous one tiny *herp?* from a child‚Äôs mouth can be. ¬†Sometimes that’s the only warning you get before herp turns into full-out hurl. I could‚Äôve…

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6

This is NOT complaining

This is an elaborate status update that you didn’t ask for. ¬†But it’s not complaining. I’ve been cat-sitting for my sister’s cats for a week or so now, and they follow me from room to room mewling expectantly. ¬† Whenever I sit down to work they loll all over the keyboard, chew the wires, yowl…

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6

Be careful what you wish for, sweetheart.

Musfira, staring into bedroom mirror: Momma, whez my beeowd? Me: Your beard? Musfira, you don’t have a beard. Musfira: Why naht? Me: You’re a little girl. Beards are for babas. Musfira: *pouts* I wan sum beeowd! Me: You can’t have a beard! Musfira, dramatically wailing and clutching face: I WAN SUM BEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWD! You can’t make…

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You have been warned

If you’re here from my article on Muslim Matters and are looking for further maternal wisdom, then please take note: this update has no purpose other than the documentation of the intolerable cuteness that is my 2.1 year old Musfira. ¬†You have been duly warned. As expected of a third child, Musfira is louder, faster,…

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This one’s a keeper

Iman drew me a kimono-wearing cat, complete with fan, princess crown, and parasol. ¬†AWESOMENESS! MashaAllah ūüôā

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Marty is our new hamster

Iman: “Momma, if we don’t feed Marty, he’ll die. ¬†Then, he’ll turn into grass and antelope will eat him. ¬†That’s the circle of life.” ūüėÄ

Sometimes I forget she’s five

Iman: Momma, all birds lay eggs- Me: That‚Äôs right, very good… Iman:¬†-except for tigers. Me: Iman, tigers are not birds. Iman: What about bats? Me: No, they‚Äôre not birds even though they fly.¬† They don‚Äôt have feathers.¬† They‚Äôre kind of like flying mice. Iman: But they‚Äôre not alive, right? Me: Of course bats are alive!…

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3

Musfira’s Great Nap Escape

Musfira will be turning two next week, and the older she gets, the more creative and amazing her attempts to escape from nap-time become. I put her down for a nap at 12:00. ¬†At 12:15, she desperately cried out “Momma, Ow!” I rushed to the room wondering how she could have gotten hurt while in…

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Take THAT racial inferiority complex, HA!

A few days ago, Iman was sitting at the dining table next to me coloring when she put down her crayons and pouted. “Momma, which crayon is my skin? It’s not this one,” she said, holding up the¬†Caucasian¬†“skin-tone” crayon. “And it’s not this one,” she said, holding up the brown crayon.¬†“Which crayon is my skin?”…

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2

How to melt momma with happiness

Khalid: Momma, what does the word “hang out” mean? Me: To hang out? That means to spend time together talking and enjoying someone’s company. Khalid: Okay, right. Can we hang out? Me: I’d love to. ūüôā Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

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And I quote

Khalid: Momma, when I die…? Me: (putting my drink down slowly) Yes Khalid? Khalid: And my body goes into the earth…? Me: Yes? Khalid: Will people remove my fossils and put them in a museum? Me: No dear, they won’t. Khalid: Why not? Me: Because you’re not a dinosaur dear. _____ Iman: (is looking through…

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Iman’s Dua

Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallll the gifts. Oh Allah, thank you for paradise. Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallll the children in this life. Oh Allah, thank you for the nice clothes. Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallll the buildings Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallllthe grandmas and nanas. Oh Allah, thank you for me. Ameen.

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Well, at least she’s honest.

Me, Holding out a pile of hair that Iman has just cut right off the top of her head: Iman, why did you cut your hair? Iman: Because I want you to take me to the beauty salon?

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Alhamdulillah for ABA

One of the reasons why I am so grateful for Khalid‚Äôs autism is ABA- Applied Behavior Analysis.¬† In the context of teaching a child with autism, ABA can be broken down in to two core concepts: 1)¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† The teaching of tasks from simple to complex 2)¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† The reinforcement of correct behavior and extinction of incorrect…

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1

Bi Khair, Alhamdulillah!

Khalid came running to my room this morning, “Momma, I need a tissue.” (I’ve heard this one before.) “Khalid, what happened?” “In the kitchen.” In the kitchen Khalid had poured himself a glass of juice all over the floor and Musfira seized the opportunity to crawl into it and have a seat. ¬†So not only…

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We interrupt this normally mundane blog…

To ask an important question: What in the hibbity dibbity is wrong with people? Why is the world in love with- of all things- zombies? ¬†I understand – zombies are ¬†staple fare of¬†apocalypse/horror games, movies, books, etc- but when did we fall in love with zombies to the extent that we have zombie weddings, zombie…

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5

Jeremy Clarkson can quit now

Iman: Momma look! Do you see that car? It’s white! Me: Yes, I do, it’s a convertible. Iman: It has two eyes, and a mouth! It’s like a happy face! It’s like a toy! I like it!

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Ode to Musfira, which is like joy, but sweeter. And with sprinkles.

You are my Cupcake with cupcake sprinkles Sprinkle stars in my eyes Your tiny laugh twinkles And if, Cupcake (with cupcake sprinkles) You should ever feel lost You should know that you’ll find me Begging the Baker who made you to let me See you in Jannah Where stars in your eyes Will reflect diamond…

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6

Water and Oil. Autism and Iron.

So it’s been a little over two month’s since I’ve updated, which may be the longest I’ve ever gone in the history of this blog. ¬†Ever. ¬†I have an excuse. Well, I have a whole bunch of excuses, so let’s throw some at the wall and see if any of them stick. The dog ate…

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Sugar and spice and everything nice, *that’s* what momma is made of

Iman comes inside the house crying, having just fallen down. ¬†I pick her up and calm her down and try to figure out what happened. Me: Iman, what happened? Iman: I was climbing the stairs, like a cat- Me: And then what happened? Iman: And then I fell, like an ant! Me: Like an ant?…

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Some milestones come earlier than others…

Thanks to her adoring elder siblings, Musfira is ahead of the curve when it comes to what solids other five month olds have been introduced to.  Like chips, peanut butter, heart-shaped lollipops, apples (uncut, unpeeled), mango juice, and fruit-shaped erasers. Erasers. SubhanAllah!

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Bronchitis, Business Licensing, Separation Anxiety, etcetera

So I’ve been sick, the kids have been sick, the business license renewal has been held up for the last two months and two of the therapists who were ready to fly down have now withdrawn. ¬†Everything happens for a good reason. ¬†I remind myself of this not only because it’s true, but because that’s…

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5

Om-Nom!

Well, Khalid is back at his old school and Iman is happy to be going along with him. I’ve yet to visit the old school and formalize their removal, but I’ll definitely be doing so- especially since we paid half the fees in advance! Khalid was immediately happier back in familiar settings- the first day…

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