In a nutshell

Khalid fell down and busted his head on the corner of the wall.  Stood him up and said Khalid, did you hit your head?  With blood pouring down his face he answers: No.   No tears, no crying.  Rocking in pain, but outright denial because he refuses to acknowledge things he finds uncomfortable.  He’s an…

Morphine Bad, Knee Good.

So the surgery went well, Alhamdulillah.  It’s only been two days since the operation, but already the knee is free of the crunchy, audible grinding that was the result of damaged cartilage rubbing against damaged cartilage every time I flexed or extended my knee.  Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.  I am happy and hopeful and optimistic about…

SubhanAllah

One of the great things about not updating your blog regularly is that no one really visits it anymore. So you can write whatever you want to. Like this: Lab Technician: Ah, a BHCG test, expecting a baby? Me: No, having a miscarriage. LT: Oh, uh- I’m sorry. Me: It’s ok. -Pained silence- Once upon…

If HF asks, tell him I was typing in my sleep…

HF is asleep, Khalid is asleep, Iman is asleep- why then am I awake? Because it’s hard to eat chocolate cereal in your dreams, that’s why. So my bowl of chocolate cereal and I are here to share our continuing adventures in dental destiny. On Wednesday, I dutifully submitted to the dentist- a nice man…

Mortal Wounds: Conflict and Resolution

Abez Presents: How to Mortally Wound Yourself with Lunch Step1: Make Tuna Corn Chowder yesterday(recipe will follow at bottom of post)Step2: Reheat bowl of Tuna Corn Chowder in microwave, set on one minute.Step3: After one minute, take the chowder out to stir it, so that it heats evenly. Step4: Put spoon into chowderStep5: Be attacked…

Mortal Wounds: The next generation

There’s nothing funny about pain, but the look on Bebe’s face (brow wrinkled, lower lip protruding) followed by the offended little ‘meep!’ noise that he made when I accidentally beaned him in the face with Blue- that was funny. That was very, very funny. I must be a horrible mother, because once when the cell…

Coming soon:

Is it a sin to be rich? For now: It has happened. I have given myself the first mortal wound of my married life. I do not wish to horrify those of you with delicate constitutions with the gory details. Nor do I wish to upset those readers who lack intestinal fortitude. (please, not on…

Mortal Wounds: when bannisters attack

How to: 1. In a hurry, approach the top landing of a staircase. 2. Also in a hurry, notice that there is an empty garbage can waiting to be taken back downstairs. 3. Swoop down with your right hand to pick up the garbage can, removing your eyes from the staircase and therefore altering your…

It got better…  This photo by request and request. I apologize for the cheap photo quality. Or well, actually, I don’t, because if I was really sorry I would’ve taken the trouble to hook my digital cam up instead of being lazy and using the webcam instead. Well, I’ve got a busy few weeks ahead…

TROGDOR!!!

Some blogs are easier to write than others. Take, for example, a mortal wound blog. All I have to do is hurt myself and a great story is born. Last week I mortally wounded myself while washing the car, but because I was over-busy with my momma’s arrival, I didn’t get the chance to write…

Mortally wounded my fingers while dismantling 15-foot trampoline. Will dramaticize it later. Right now it hurts to type. Have a laff instead: from www.funnycleanjokes.com You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that! -Dave Barry…

Sensei Presents: Mortally Wound Yourself, In Bed. I know it sounds hard, but it can be done. And last night, I proved it. Here’s how. Set your alarm clock for 6 am, the appropriate time for Fajr prayer these days. When it goes off, wait for your roomie to pray first because there’s only one…

Click THIS LINK to read a really amazing and powerful piece of writing that a sister (not me, Thank God!) posted on the Muslim Writers Society. You must go. Sensei sez so. *** Mortally Wound Yourself in a Musical Way –or- Killing me softly, with pineapple. I didn’t know if I should bother telling people…

Ah Mondays. I mortally wounded myself, and I would take a picture except then the picture never looks as painful or life-threatening as the situation really is. Hmmph. What now? I burned three of my knuckles simultaneously while baking cookies. Not at all exciting. Basically I punched the over rack while trying to slide in…

I haven’t been a bad blogistani, really I haven’t, it’s just that we haven’t had a working phone line for days. I dutifully typed it, I just couldn’t post it. Here it is. Funny that He-Man should come up in the comments on my last post, because I actually saw an episode the other day…

Sensei dizzily presents: How to Mortally Wound Yourself While Doing Class Work. or- Amnesia and You: Making the Dream Come True. Proudly and smugly finish your class work exactly half an hour before you have to leave for class, and then try to print it out. Then realize that the printer isn’t hooked up. Crawl…

Sensei Presents: How to mortally wound yourself when the electricity goes out -or- Waxing your thumbs: the Pros and Cons. Wait until the electricity goes out, leaving you in pitch-darkness and utter boredom. Then feel your way into the kitchen and slap at the counter blindly for the box of matches. First you must put…

I mortally wounded myself, just to make you guys happy. I present: How to Mortally Wound Yourself While Cleaning Off The Table. -or- How to Make Carrot Upside-down Cake. Clean off the remnants of Easter dinner, and cover a largely un-touched carrot cake with plastic wrap, marveling at the skill with which it is applied…

I May Not Know Art, But I Know What I Like! I get tired of mortally wounding myself, and yet I just can’t seem to stop. Ere go: How To Mortally Wound Yourself While Baking Crackers Don’t ask me why we’re baking crackers. Pakistan is a hands-on kinda place, and if you want your own…

Here we go again: How to Mortally Wound Yourself While Trying to Answer the Phone In order to do this successfully, you must have only one phone, and it has to be downstairs. Now, go upstairs and wait for the phone to ring. When it does ring, run headlong down the stairs at break-neck speed.…

You know, sometimes I outdo even myself. Based on today’s experience, I present: How to Detonate Your Pressure Cooker. See, you wouldn’t normally consider a pressure cooker to be an explosive device, but with a little skill, some hungry impatience and instruction from yours truly, you too can endanger your very life. Simply ignore everything…

T’was the night before Monday And all through the house Not a creature was stirring Except this lazy bum here who can’t think of anything to rhyme with house, excluding mouse, grouse, souse and louse. Hmmmm. This blog is finally operational and pretty slick lookin if I may say so ;). It’s 3 am, and…

Today we present: How To Mortally Wound Yourself While Doing Laundry It’s quite simple, really, you just turn your head while throwing clothes into the dryer and consequently rake your hand over the metal latch that makes the dryer close. Having done this, you will have torn a gash across your thumb, cross-wise. You may…