Darkness lies around him
and watches with dark eyes
whispering suggestions
suggesting lovely lies
the smoothest path is downward
the uphill path is rough
(faith is but a tiny light
but faith is light enough)
a human walks in darkness
he says his eyes are bright
he cannot see his blindness
and his eyes are wide with fright
he says his heart will lead him
but his heart is dark inside
a light once sputtered there
but even that has died.

O you who have believed, respond to Allah and to the Messenger when he calls you to that which gives you life. And know that Allah intervenes between a man and his heart and that to Him you will be gathered.

The Qur’an, Surah Al Anfal, line 24

Rubaiyaat xx & xxi

i-xix here

He whispering, withdraws

To divert you from your cause

The snow-white lamb of ‘later’

Has strangely wolf-like claws.

****

He took the path of arrogance

And insists you follow suit

To plant the seed that grows the tree

That blossoms rotten fruit.

Fight the world if you have to

Even yourself if you must

Forgiveness is for the forgiving

And mercy is owed to the just.

***

(Bi Iznillah)

How can I fault the world

For the turmoil that’s within it?

It’s all of what He said

And none of what He didn’t.

Nablus Now

In Auschwitz it dripped
In Nablus now it drips
From flesh it freshly flowed
As in Nablus now it rips

In Auschwitz she cried
In Nablus now she cries
Hated hands held her and hers
As in Nablus where she lies

In Auschwitz they moaned
In Nablus now they moan
Hear the hunger haunting them
As Nablus orphans groan

In Auschwitz he fell
In Nablus now he falls
Bullets bounce from boy to brain
In Nablus off the walls

In Auschwitz they died
In Nablus now we die
And you call this land Holy Land?
In Nablus, we call it Auschwitz

A heart so torn will bleed, and bleeding so congeals
That a darkened outer covering will block the touch that heals
A heart then stripped will bleed, and with bleeding fingers I
Begin to mend again a heart that otherwise would die
Because Allah has set no limit on how often I be broken
And no promise, no oath, has yet to me been spoken
To guarantee that strands of pain, twisted to a filament
Won’t lacerate the tender heart around which they are bent
But this guarantee, this oath, clearly has been made:
My Guardian Lord has promised me gardens in the shade
And promised me no burden greater than I may bear
So with this thread of hope, I make my small repairs
For a heart so torn will bleed, but mended so, no longer
And the wounds that made me bleed, only make me stronger.

Bap Bap Bap
Said the baby
With the raisins
In his lap

Carseat Lullabye

Cuts and bruises, bruises and scars
That we got from toying with other cars
When the road was more than enough to share
And really, they could have gone anywhere
Rather than both try to fill the same spot
On a Tuesday so tired when the road was so hot
And the glass was all glittery there on the street
And the witnesses helpful and caring a sweet
And the sky sunny blue and your cheeks teary pink
And the spots on my skirt rather fetching, I think
And the wail of the sirens not louder than yours
That rang from the hospital’s ceilings and floors
Bruises and cuts and thank God nothing bad
(Not like the man in the other room had)
Cuts and bruises, bruises and scars
Can you keep a secret about other cars?
I can see as they speed up to pass from the side
That they’ve hit us again and someone has died
The emergency room is now miles away
And the scream on your face will not go away
Cuts and bruises, bruises and more
The hot on my hands is smeared on the door
Cuts and bruises, bruises and God-
Cuts and bruises, bones and blood
The screech and the crash and the pain and then
The car finally stops and we’re home safe again
And I, for the hundredth time, happen to find
That we’ve died just a little, just in my mind.

There are some hills over there…

Excuse me while I build my ark,
I haven’t got much time.
Fast the flooding waters rise,
Go find a hill to climb.
Do you mind not standing in my light?
Hey, give me back my tools!
Must you insist on sabotage?
Keep away, you fools!
The hand you lend, it hardly helps.
I need no Three-Piece Messiah
All I need is One Good Lord
For when the waves get higher.
Don’t preach vicarious atonement
For when this day is through
I highly doubt you will have found
Someone else to drown for you.

The poem titled ‘From the Homely Brother’ was not written to be overtly sexual or deliberately offensive, but to explain behavior that is so often misunderstood by people- he doesn’t look at her, he must think men are better than women. He walks in front of her, what does he think he is, superior? He won’t even say her name, what a religious weirdo!

My intention was to show how these behaviors were not callous or extreme or chauvinistic, but motivated by respect and geared towards preventing any debasement of a sister’s character. He doesn’t look at her because he respects her too much to lust after her. He doesn’t walk behind her because he won’t leer at her. He keeps his distance out of respect, in spite of the overwhelming emotion he has.

It’s for Islam, not spite it
That I will not meet your eye
And it’s not romantic cowardice
That keeps my smiles shy

When I wrote this poem three years ago, I had been trying to see inside the heart of a person facing temptation in love but resisting for the sake of Allah and for the sake of the sister’s dignity.

But sister my devotion
To your honor is foremost

We have enough of people giving in to temptation, of letting their desires override their morals and letting love be a higher god, this was supposed to be different. This was a brother dealing successfully and patiently with what he feels, not letting it go towards haram, but waiting to make his relationship halal, and until then, doing his best.

So until Allah, He blesses me
And you become my other half
I will always close my ears
To the melody of your laugh

Why am I explaining myself right now? Well, apparently this poem has been misunderstood. Because I wrote it, what I meant is crystal clear to me and I therefore had no mental pause about posting this publicly. But the way people have been interpreting it has been very off from what I meant.

‘I love you,’ is what this brother is saying, ‘but for the sake of Allah and Islam and you, I will keep my distance until Allah makes you mine. And until that happens, don’t think my behaviour is rude or chauvanistic, I’m keeping my distance out of respect for you.’

I seek refuge in Allah and seek his forgiveness for sins I have committed against others or against my own soul. Any good is from Allah and any bad is from shaitan or my own self, astaghfirullah wa atubu ileih.