The Lizard is Quicker than the Eye Well, my momma’s arrived safely in the states, Alhamdulillah. Life is dull but going on. –sigh- On a more entertaining note, we have a stalker! He’s got medium yellow skin, beady black eyes, four legs, a detachable tail…

Read More

Chaos. My mother is leaving in two days. I have relatives from Karachi coming up in three hours, the house is not ready, the bedrooms are not guest-worthy. I actually missed a class today because I was so busy that I just forgot to go.…

Read More

My fifteen seconds of fame. Yesterday, my mother, sister and I were out shopping at one of the larger, smellier, busier bazaars here in Islamabad. It was rush-hour (just afore Maghrib) and it was insanity in the parking lot. I was blocked in by a…

Read More

We’re playing hide-and-seek with the electricity today, so I don’t know how successful I’ll be in getting this blog typed. (save) I’m afraid that anything I (save) type will be lost if the electricity (save) goes out again. So I’m (save) trying to (save) as…

Read More

I usually don’t vent on my blog but now seems as good a time as any. Besides, if I wait to blog any longer I may set a record of some sort. I try not to let more than two days go by without typing…

Read More

Sensei dizzily presents: How to Mortally Wound Yourself While Doing Class Work. or- Amnesia and You: Making the Dream Come True. Proudly and smugly finish your class work exactly half an hour before you have to leave for class, and then try to print it…

Read More

We’re fresh out of electricity more often than not these days, and that makes typing a blog hard. I’ve started two only to have the electriity go out and my documents get destroyed. Aaaargh! Here, have an article I wrote instead. It would’ve featured in…

Read More

Randomness. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said that Allah has said: The first of his actions for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable for on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they…

Read More

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, Usman has FINALLY sent his guest post! (and the audience goes wild!) Roll camera in five, four, three, two….action! Are we live?? *spits in hand and straightens out hair* “Hi there, this is Aww Smfreek reporting…

Read More

I win! Haha! I beat my dad in a best-of-three checkers match. (That’s draughts to all you Britishers). I also creamed my sister in two matches of backgammon. (That’s Tavla to all you Turks) I haven’t actually purchased or made a backgammon board, I’m just…

Read More

Aha! I knew it! My mental thermometer is accurate. Yesterday I thought it was about 41 Celcius/102 Fahrenheit, and I was right! :::does a sweaty victory lap around the computer chair::: :::dies of heatstroke::: Ever since moving to Pakistan I’ve been trying to come up…

Read More

Yes, the rape stats in the US are MUCH higher than here in Pakistan. True, not all rape is reported in Pakistan, but nor is all rape reported in the US. If we’re going to compare the two rape rates, we can’t just compare America’s…

Read More

OOOOOoooOOOOOOOoooohhh…. (a sad noise, not a buffalo noise) Everyone is leaving! My friend Chai is in the States on vacation, Crayon’s going back to Europe for the summer, so are my swimming buddies from Sweden, and my Australian hijabi is going back to Australia! Nuts!…

Read More

I went to a tea party today and had an interesting conversation about modesty and scarfyism (aka Hijab) and I was reminded of the fact that most people have no idea what’s going on inside of my head. I assume they all know why I…

Read More

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve sewed my new jilb, and I’ve learned that sewing involves a lot more than just….umm…sewing. It also involves- A bit of mechanical engineering: “Mom, I can’t get the bobbin back in.” “Take off the stitch plate and poke around with…

Read More

Randomness to the nth degree. The Caliph and the delusional man A certain man claimed to be God and was brought before the Caliph, who said to him, “Last year someone here claimed to be a prophet and he was put to death!” The man…

Read More

I saw a guy on a bike carrying a live peacock under his arm today. Gotta love living in this country… Well, I’m putting my money where my mouth is (200 rupees to be exact) and I’m going to sew my own jilb. -gasp- I…

Read More

New stuff on my fotolog. Actually, all of it’s old, but it’s new to you, ok? Just go look. Sensei sez so! Eeek! Eeek! Eeek! The Beginning of Another Week! Sitting at the computer eating barbeque sauce (fridge is empty) and drinking Amrat Cola (boycott…

Read More

I just got back from a condolences reception for the mother of one of our friends. (She passed away and was buried on Wednesday, but they were receiving visitors this weekend.) I didn’t really want to go to the reception, who would, really. What do…

Read More

I’m beginning to think that maybe Americans are a little weirder than everyone else (just a little) as far as mint is concerned. I was talking to two of my students about spices and cooking and asking them about how their own ethnic cuisines differ…

Read More

Must give props where props are due. Props to: Aniraz, for the creative brilliance behind ‘Tartar sauce, the fish that doesn’t swim.’ I forgot to attribute that quote to her. Sahar, for helping me replace my defunct tag board. *dies* Usman, for ALMOST making me…

Read More

Work today wasn’t as bad as I dreaded. I did have three classes, and I did get a mysterious paper cut, but on the other hand, I got two cups of Turkish tea, a glass of juice, a video game and a magazine. The video…

Read More

DeKep is DeFunct. I got to go to Faisal Masjid for Maghrib jamaat the other day. It’s got miles of cool white marble, soft yellow lights, and it’s nestled right in the Margalla hills so there’s always a breeze going. I get to wander around…

Read More

I learned something very interesting yesterday. One of my students was telling us about a man they know who claims to be a faith-healer. The guy takes a piece of aluminum foil, dips it in water, recites a few verses of the Qur’an over it,…

Read More

Tonight’s English Night and I have brownies to bake and things to type up and stuff to do. (stuff!) If anyone asks, I’m not home, ok? Talk amongst yourselves until I return. Adieu! -Sensei A man stumbles into his house drunk, and his wife starts…

Read More

Sensei Presents: How to mortally wound yourself when the electricity goes out -or- Waxing your thumbs: the Pros and Cons. Wait until the electricity goes out, leaving you in pitch-darkness and utter boredom. Then feel your way into the kitchen and slap at the counter…

Read More

People sez: Is the glass half empty, or half full? I sez: Who cares. Say Bismillah and drink the water. Thank Allah for it and put the glass away. And stop sitting around and contemplating glasses of water, you weirdo! I had an -ahem- interesting…

Read More

Aaargh. This always happens…I’ve picked up some imported germs (imported germs are from imported students, I teach English to foreigners working for embassies and whatnot). One of my students has had a cold and flu, and what a surprise, now I’m getting sick too. I’ve…

Read More

Well, now that I’ve gotten my hands on a copy of Microsoft FrontPage I’ve been causing all kinds of chaos. And since I somehow broke my tag board in the process, you can see that not all of it is the good kind of chaos.…

Read More

Woke up for Fajr this morning dead tired. Why? Because I’m a genius. I stayed up until 12:30 making my English Night prizes (with glitter, beads, cardboard, sequins, a glue gun, MWAHAHAA!!! Oh, and I et the egg.) and then I suddenly remembered that I…

Read More

oops. I posted double but I can’t just delete. How silly. Oh well. Here’s a different post then. Some primal termite knocked on wood Tasted it, and found it good And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today. -Samuel Hoffenstein.

Karachi Rox! I should just take Aniraz’s advice and not blog when I have nothing to blog about, but quite frankly, I’m just not that smart. If I was a smarter man, I would do things differently. I would do the work for my classes…

Read More

Randomness to the Extreme -or- When Abez Blogs at 1 am. How to kill a moth with window cleaner: Squirt squirt squirt squirt squirt squirt squirt, victory dance. **** One of my students is taking a vacation, and another one of them wants a rescheduling,…

Read More

Before I begin my usual blogging nonsense, I have to make a formal and public apology to Maria (MSD). Though I did attack dating, I did not mean to attack you. I am very, very, very sorry for offending you. God Forbid that all Muslims…

Read More

I had a whole different blog typed for today, but when I got on and took a look at my tag board, I decided to write something else instead. There are a few bizarre things happening on tag board right that I would like to…

Read More

I’m not a mean man. Just one with a highly developed sense of vigilante-ism. *Dish!* Dor-Dor! Whack! I’m sitting in front of the computer trying to blog, but I don’t think it’s gonna work too well. First of all, between home and work, very few…

Read More

Af Af, I mean, Woof Woof. Something interesting happened to me on the way home today. I was minding my own beeswax, turning left when a car came from the opposite direction, and tried to turn right around a car that was ALREADY turning right.…

Read More

Appallingly busy these days and moderately distressed. 🙁 Help! Anybody wanna guest post? I’ll even make a little competition. Ok, here it is, whoever answers this following question (in the affirmative) first will get to guest post. (Sorry for the delay Usman, I can’t even…

Read More