If you can’t say anything nice…

The parents of a child who made gradual but consistent progress for the year and a half my therapists worked with him left the country with an unpaid bill of 16,000 aed (that’s roughly 4,000 dollars) after promising to pay.  They ignored my phone calls and emails for three months.  I caught the mother out by calling her from another number, and when I met her in person to discuss settling the unpaid bill, she said she didn’t want to pay the bill and if we insisted we pay then she would call the police and report my team for child abuse.

This, from a woman whose services were never stopped even when she was late to pay for months at a time, who was exempted from late fees because of the financial difficulty she said she was in, and who kept saying I had to trust her and that she would always pay and that she was not a cheat.

This, from a woman who said we were both mothers of special needs children and that we had to trust each other.

I run a zero-profit business and have not received a salary in two years.  I have licensing fees to pay this month and staff who have a right to their salaries.  It will most likely cost me more money to prosecute this woman than I will get back from her. So now what?

Humanity has hit a new low in my eyes.




Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on Muslimmatters.org.

  1. sameera

    I’ve been reading your blog for some time and I just wanted to say that that really sucks. You all are doing an incredible job and shouldn’t be taken for a ride by anyone. The fact that you did give her time when she requested it and were patient shows that you are a compassionate person who is willing to compromise and try and meet people half-way when you can. It shows you that you do make excuses for people and are willing to see the good in people.

    I’m sorry you got burnt this time, but also, don’t let this change you and make you become jaded. These qualities listed are ones which are hard to find in people and not everyone is like this woman. Maybe you will experience some other benefit from how you have behaved towards this woman which might manifest itself in some other way or time, or maybe other families that you work with are more grateful than she is for the qualities you possess. You know why you set out to do this work, just bear that in mind whilst also accepting that there are people in the world like this woman… Although inshaa’Allaah they are few in number.

    Take care.

  2. Abez

    AssalamuAlaikum Sameera- I have to thank you for your comment, not because I believe I’m doing an incredible job, but because I want to thank you for reminding me to not get cynical. I guess I’m lucky- blessed, rather- that this is the first time this has happened to me and it’s been two years since I’ve been doing this job. It could have been worse, it could have been the same amount of money at a time when there was no way way I could continue operating without out, or it could have been something worse. Allah is the Best of planners, so I probably should cut humanity more slack since they’re only doing what Allah is permitting them too, and there is khair in it for me, InshaAllah.

    A colleague of mine told me that she believed in karma, so what this mother did would come back to get her later. My father, on the other hand, was infuriated (I adore my dad) but later laughed- imagine, on the Day of Judgement, when in exchange for just 16,000 aed, you either get to take some of the good deeds from her balance, or you get to load her 16,000 dirhams worth of your bad deeds. Now there’s something money can’t buy!

    I am feeling slightly better, but I am meeting with a legal counselor on Sunday to find out what can be done that won’t cost me more money than I am trying to recover. I need to accept that I’ll get it back in this life or the next, but one way or the other, I WILL get it back. InshaAllah.

    Thanks for reminding me to think happy thoughts. 🙂

  3. Owl

    *hugs* Sorry sir. Some people well and truly suck. But yes, dad is right, she’s not going to get away with anything. That’s one of the many reasons why I am Muslim – because it allows me to let go of what I am powerless to change, and trust instead that Allah will give me justice in the next life. There will be justice. Don’t stress. 🙂

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: