First Vlog: Headfirst into Imperfection

Following two months of zero update and almost a year of chronic hand pain, I’ve finally decided to start video blogging, even if the result is less than perfect. Perfection belongs to Allah alone. Yes, that is my excuse.


Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on

  1. Muslima

    GLAD to see an update! I’ve been checking so frequently that I …. stopped checking? Oh, today was a coincidence. What a sweet thing. I’m sorry for the chronic pain you’ve been going through, may Allah make it easy for you and give you more strength, more patience and more perseverance. Vlog is actually a good option to keep in touch. My best duas with you&Co.
    *Hey! You don’t sound like a paki* 😀

  2. Abez

    Eid Mubarak Muslima! Lol- I didn’t know I was supposed to sound a certain way but I know we build expectations in our heads about how people are “supposed” to be in real life. 😀

    I’m half Pakistani and half American and raised so everywhere all at the same time that I don’t know if I fully identify with either. To me I guess I just sound like… me?

  3. Naz

    Yayyyyy, finally an update MA! What you said had such a HUGE impact on my life. A huge JAZAKALLAH KHAIR from Chicago for this Vlog.

    Seriously, the part where you said nothing is perfect, and we shouldnt wait for the perfect day or time to do this or that, is sooooooooo true. There will never be a perfect time nor is anything perfect.

    Last thing that struck me was how you said you about your dilemma about fasting. You mentioned im trying to go off memory that you wont be angry about it. You said you could be sad or disappointed but never angry. This is ALLAH s.w.t’s decree and what he has written and ordained will happen.

    So we should submit to his decree, sorry if I made errors Im going off my weak memory to quote you.

    But, ive been having a craptastic of craptastic Eid’s, drama and craziness left right and center. But your words were healing and I found solace in them.

    We cant change destiny or whats meant to happen to us, what was written to befall us will happen. But, we can be patient and submit to his decree, there is great peace in this.

    It’s like being submerged in the middle of an ocean, and a dark storm comes and the winds are fierce and the waves are thrasing you about, but deep down inside there is a calm inside you. Because you know everything will be okay, ALLAH s.w.t is there.

    Plzzzzzzzz continue blogging/vlogging, ur words are very insightful. How do u like Texas so far?

  4. Mona

    I think this was perfectly awesome first vlog attempt. Go you!
    May Allah swt reward your intention of and attempt at fasting, habibti. Much love!

  5. Owl

    Your bedroom is never gonna be clean. Take it from your former roomie. 😛


    Also, my hands are hurting too much too. WHAT IS UP, EHLERS DANLOS STAR ALIGNMENT?!

    And I love you. Haz not sads. Haz sabr.

  6. Hafsa


    New post!! New post!!!
    Hehe, this is almost like talking to you after years of being a reader of your blog. 😀 I couldnt fast this Day of Arafah too coz I am very much pregnant 😁 May Allah grant us many more opportunities to fast for His sake and make it easy upon us!

  7. lraepofmodsiw

    hey salaams!

    just wanted you to know that was a beautiful vlog and a great message.

    mashAllah your courage, resilience and deep faith has had a profound impact on me.. as i’m sure it has for everyone else it’s touched. i’m so glad to see that you are continuing your blog in this way. it’s been a while since i’ve read your work but hearing it was just as much fun (also brave putting yourself out there like that! but that’s your middle name eh? mA).

    some things may have changed since our SV days but you and your sis (hi owl!) remain the most talented, bad@ss, quirky, and fun muslimah writers i’ve ever had the pleasure of “knowing.” may Allah swt reward you both for every little hardship you encounter and obstacle you’re patient with, may His decree be to swiftly make every dua on your list a reality and may your imperfections lead you closer to the One who is Most Perfect. ameen.


    Salams, from Pakistan and a full-blooded “Paki”? *thickest desi accent* Funny people use racial slurs to make a point that’s not even a point. 😛 Even if the writer him/herself is from Pakistan- NOT cool. Anyhwho! Sending a gazzillion duas. I can vividly recall the many badminton matches you played very patiently with me, and my monkey hand! And the ultimate push-up winner that you’ve been! 😀 This has made me want to send you a huge gentle hug. You’re in my duas! May Allah blesses you with the best in both worlds. And makes you of those on whom He bestows His love in the form of ease and health. Ameen.

    LOADS of love,
    anam 🙂

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: