Human beings are complicated.  In the last year of my life, I’ve observed more of them close-up, and in-depth for longer periods of time than usual. How? By volunteering on a committee. 

I’ve learned that people who like to complain about things are usually less interested in solutions than they are in their own importance.

I’ve learned that people who are silent often have too much to say about things, and not knowing where to begin- will instead say nothing.

I’ve learned that people who talk too much can sometimes have the least to offer. Sometimes, they’re seeking, but they aren’t sure what questions to ask. So they ramble. I’ve learned to listen for questions that aren’t asked. 

I’ve learned that perfectionism is a disease that causes people to shoot down the ideas of others – not maliciously – but from the overpowering concern that they’re not good enough. Consequently, no solutions pass muster. 

I’ve learned that grownups never really grow up. They just grow bigger, and the same weird things kids do, grownups just do more tactfully. 

I’ve learned that there are silent, generous, unassuming pillars of entire communities who drive used cars and donate hundreds of thousands of dollars to charitable causes without a fuss for recognition.

I’ve learned there are squeaky, un-greased wheels who donate a hundred dollars and think that makes them the CEO of the world.

Humans are complicated. May Allah forgive me for being one too. 


Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on

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