Fuzzy Fiqh

HF: Getting married is half your deen, right?

Me: Yeah.

HF: So getting two wives must complete it entirely then, hunh?



Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on Muslimmatters.org.

  1. bajidc

    don’t you close your comments on me, little lady! (see above). so, um, yeah. misery loves company and reading your post didn’t make me depressed but rather felt less alone in my oft-experienced feelings of overwhelmishness and underappreciatednocity. EOM.

  2. danielle

    Zeba you need a SERIOUS lecture. I hope your mother is giving it to you! Just adding a bit more for good measure.
    1. Forgetting that you are HUMAN and setting your expectations ridiculously high for yourself is a serious recipe for disaster and depression.
    2. It is a well-documented fact that not one mother in the history of mankind has ever felt like they were doing enough. This is natural since Allah loves us as much as 70 mothers, and we feel that love all the time. So how can we ever ever match that?
    3. Beating ourselves up about our inadequacies only makes us more pathetic than we already are (speaking for myself here).
    Indeed my dear friend, we are ALL hopeless failures. The test of life is how we deal with this sad fact. Either we press on nonetheless, hoping that one day perhaps we will do a bit better – or we sit in our reflecting pool of self pity and do nothing. I usually have an unattractive mental image of myself smacking myself into a brick wall over and over and over as I go about my daily life, but I positively refuse to stop this. And I am ALWAYS reminded of Rabia Basra who used to cry when no misfortune befell her, saying “Oh why has my Lord forgotten me???”.

    Al Hamdulillah! Allah has not forgotten us!

  3. Abez

    Point taken. 🙂 Grateful hugs for everyone all around, especially Baji and Danielle, because Baji needs more appreciation and Danielle’s mention of Rabia Basra made my soul happy. 🙂

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