Author: Abez

  • This one’s for you, Booboo

    PhotobucketAs art imitates life, Iman is often pushed out of the limelight by Khalid, and I think there’s a disproportionate number of posts in Khalid’s favor. Well, let’s change that. It is time again, for a post about Iman, aka Booboo, who was so named after the sound she would make while trying very hard to cry and pout at the same time.

    If there is a human incarnation of Dora the Explorer, Iman is it. Not only does Iman bear an uncanncy resemblance to Dora (albeit three shades lighter), she is also the intrepid discoverer of such things as Doing Laundry in The Toilet, Stuffing Toys in the Washing Machine, and Wearing Unmentionables As Hats When Company Comes Over.
    (Yes, I have since rearranged my clothing so that nothing… unmentionable is within Iman’s reach.)
    Iman has a thing for hats. ‘Hat’ was her first sign, and she continues to use it more often than any other word in her sign language vocabulary. A swim cap on another kid at the pool is enthusiastically labelled a hat. When we bought a new floor lamp, Iman walked up to it, signed ‘hat,’ and then proceeded to vigorously throttle it in hoping of shaking the ‘hat’ down. She will still periodically make a grab for the lamp’s ‘hat’ if I walk too close to it while carrying her. If I put Iman on my shoulders, she makes the sign for hat. See? Because now Iman is a hat!
    When I put my scarf on, she signs hat. When I take my scarf off, she picks it up and winds it around her own head. (as well as neck and shoulders and body and then the rest trails on the floor) Iman herself owns no less than three or four hats, as well as a purse, which contains a tiny pink watergun and a plush red chicken, all a girl needs, really.
    Iman likes birds. She will spot birds at the park, the pool, out of the windows of the car- and sign vigorously for bird and then yell out ‘eeeeeeeeeeee!’ meaning that she wants the birds to come to her. It’s all bravado, really. I know this because I took Khalid and Iman to a pet store once, just so that she could see birds close up, and she freaked out. Iman normally channels koala while riding casually around the world on my hip, but as soon as we approached the parakeet cages, she turned into a panicky limpet and tried to hide in my scarf while simultaneously climbing up my head, which seemed to be a logical escape from the pet store. Going near the dogs nearly had her in tears, despite how happily she labels all animals as dogs- cartoon pandas, cats, Mickey Mouse, and once, a picture of a cow hanging in the butcher’s shop.
    Iman is a little mermaid. She may be tiny, and she may be only seventeen months old, but the first day we put her in water wings and dropped her into the ladies pool, she was off and chasing after other peoples’ floating toys and making friends with her adoring public. She is a criminally cute waterbaby, and I think it has to do with her tiny face poking out of the water with the bright orange water-wings on either side, and her tiny pink spandex bottom visible just under the water’s surface followed by the insistent kick!kick!kick!kick! of her chubby legs. She loves the pool. She tends to swallow alot of it though.
    Oh, and here’s the best thing- Iman is talking. 🙂 Alhamdulillah. 🙂 In just the last week or two, she has started using spoken words (other than just Hat and Ruth) like Op’! for open, Na! for no, Ah-Ah! for uh-oh, and best of all- Mama. 🙂 Iman calls me Mama. And she gives me sloppy wet kisses. And warm, clingy hugs. And she follows me around the house like my shadow, diligently copies anything interesting I may be doing, and is ferociously protective of Khalid. No one, absolutely No. One. is allowed to make Khalid cry. Except for Iman. If Iman hears Khalid crying from outside of a therapy session, she will run furiously up the hall, eight teeth clenched and the battle cry of eeeeeeeeeeee! ringing through the ABA therapy center to rush to Khalid’s rescue.
    She’s a fighter. And a biter. And I used to worry about Iman being man-handled by Khalid’s unknowing and highly lacking play skills, but I am now more worried about the number of tiny bite-shaped bruises that Iman decorates her brother with. She also pinches. And head-butts. And pulls hair. She learned the pinching from Khalid, but he learned the hair-pulling from her. So I guess it serves her right that our recent fight-du-jour is over who is pulling whose hair, and not only is Iman half of her brother’s size, but she also has longer and more hair to pull.
    Every day Iman does something cute and curious and silly and new, and I email HF or call him (he’s been abroad for nearly a month now) and tell him about it and laugh. I really should write these things down though, because I know I am forgetting them. Iman may be my second child, but to me, it feels like having my first child. Khalid is amazing in his own way, in a very different way, and his victories and quirks are exclusive to his situation. Iman is just a normal kid- a normal, ridiculous, precious, adorable, funny, vicious, insistent and loving little girl, and every day she astounds me with all her neurotypical newness.
    I love you Booboo. And maybe when you’re old enough to read, you’ll find this entry and know that your Momma loves you with all her heart. And both elbows. And all of the toes that you once sucked on while I was trying to pray. Alhamdulillah. 🙂
  • The knee bone’s connected to the- head bone!

    So my surgery happened successfully on Saturday morning, and had some interesting highlites.

    Dr. Anesthetist: How are you feeling?
    Me: Cold, your OR feels like a refrigerator.
    Dr. : I’ll fix that. I will give you a cocktail. (Holding up a syringe)
    Me: What flavor is it?
    Dr: You will like it, it is warm.
    And it was warm. Warm and fuzzy. At some point, between the warmness and the fuzzification, I looked up and saw a familiar white meniscus on the TV screen hovering above me, and realized that my orthopedic surgeon had already begun the arthroscopy without me even having felt it.
    I tried to look over the blue sheet that concealed the actual gore from me and asked my Dr. Ortho, “Hey, did he give me the spinal anesthetic?”
    Dr. Ortho nodded and went on with his work. I turned my head and located Dr. Anesthetist.
    “Hey, did you give me the spinal?”
    “Of course!”
    “When?”
    “A few minutes ago.”
    “Oh.”
    I missed it. I have no memory of being turned over or poked in the spine. The one thing that was seriously freaking me out about my surgery I totally missed. Hooray! I figure perhaps I zonked out immediately after I received the ‘cocktail,’ because I am fairly sure that I maintained consciousness all the way until the point where the Ortho said that my meniscus had a huge tear in it, the edge was too frayed to repair, and that he would try to remove the most damaged parts and save what he could.
    And I said, “That’s annoying,” and then I woke up in the recovery room with my teeth chattering. And for some reason, my skin itching as well. I’m a bit fuzzy on the details, but at some point I stopped itching and fell asleep again, and woke up in the my room with Mona somewhere vaguely nearby. And she had cookies. 🙂
    And then I woke up four hours later wondering if I really had seen Mona, and it turns out that if she had been a dream then at least the cookies were real. As were the Doritos, the water, the box of tissues and the M&M’s. Thank you Mona, the munchies produced by your ethereal presence saved me from starvation. 🙂 And we need to get together sometime ago when I’m slightly more conscious, but you’re still awesome. 🙂
    I didn’t really and truly wake up until around eight in the evening. I did have several phone conversations before then, but I’m not really sure what I told people, hah. It was established, however, that Owlie had mis-read her return ticket, and was returning imminently instead of the next day, and so by around 10 that night Hemlock and TFL brought me Owl and some lovely rich chocolate cake direct from the airport 🙂
    I was discharged from the hospital the next day, and my Momma picked me up, and then we went to pick Khalid up from OT. (Occupational Therapy) He hadn’t seen me for about 36 hours, and when I walked into the room and sat down (and accidentally dropped my crutches on the floor) he began fawning all over me and hugging me. And giggling. Which was lovely. 🙂
    And then we drove home and met up with Iman, who hugged me, and then hit me, and then hugged me, and then both of the kids fought over my crutches. (Khalid won. He’s decided that they are ‘tick! [stick]) and believe it or not- Iman began limping. There is no doubt about it, and it was hysterical and very weird- she was following me around and limping, and periodically looking up at me to make sure she was doing it right. She’s amazing, and so tremendously silly.
    Within an hour it was time to go again, because as it turns out, Owlie was having a severe wisdom tooth infection, and my dentist had agreed to see her that very afternoon, but she had never seen him before and didn’t know where his office was. So we sped off to Abu Dhabi, having just been in Dubai less than two hours ago, and my dentist (the same one who tried to get me to dislocate my own jaw, good times!) removed Owlie’s tooth right then and there. Or what was left of it, rather. It had been partially impacted, and broken too.
    And by then I ran out of steam, fell asleep in the car, and upon arriving back home, stumbled out of the car and into bed for another two hours. I woke up at 9 pm feeling much improved, and with icecream in my lap and a bag of frozen corn on my knee, I proceeded to defeat both of my parents in Scrabble.
    The moral of this story? I am not a post-op superman. Today is the end of post-op Day Two, and although I’ve been able to put the crutches aside for hobbling around the house, I’m still very, very tired and physically exhausted. I’m not in a tremendous amount of pain, I’d say about a five on a scale of one to ten- not enough to make you cry, but just enough to give you a perpetual wince.
    Hf is coming home in umm… 68 hours! Here’s hoping I’m recovered enough to actually be able to pick him up from the airport!
  • Hooray for free Wifi! Blogging from the hospital

    For my next trick, I will post a two minute review of the hospital before the nurse comes in and starts poking me with things.
    The room is nice. Like five-star nice. Hotel nice. With mini fridge and huge flat screen TV, and and vanity kit and lotion and mosaic tiles and luxury bathroom fitting, etc etc. And there’s a pool and spa, but that’s just for the VIP patients. Which I am obviously not, but I think if I were here longer I would try and see how strictly they enforce their entrance policy :p
    I was actually here three days ago, and that time in the ER. I had food poisoning, which is why my surgery was postponed, and I have to say their ER staff was so ridiculously nice. They even picked me up off the floor when I passed out in radiology.
    The nurse on duty just came in and introduced herself. Her name is Pumula, and she is a tall, black South African woman who name means ‘To Rest.’ Culturally, this is what a mother names her youngest child. I asked her how the mother knows this one will be the last, and she answered “You know, it’s interesting because in those days there was no birth control, so I suppose if a mother named their last child Pumula then the husband just knew he was supposed to go away.” Haha!
    The City Hospital gets a positive review on their nursing staff as well.
    So far so good. My surgery is set to begin in an hour, and I’m not sure how much earlier they plan on taking me in to the OR. So I should wrap up and unpack my stuff because I won’t be able to do so later. I’ll be having spinal anesthesia instead of general, so I’ll be awake for the procedure but won’t be able to walk four two hours afterwards, or so they say.
    Off we go!
  • Surgery in the morning

    I will be heading in to the hospital around six in the morning, to be admitted by seven and have surgery by nine InshaAllah.

    HF is still in the US, and won’t be back until the 13th, and while nothing in the world could make up for his absence, a new paperback and a few secret chocolate bars in my purse do go a ways towards trying. :p
    I’ll also be taking my laptop, in the hope that the free wifi in the hospital extends to my room. It may even go as far as a the OR, but I don’t think they’ll let me blog from surgery with the lappy on my knees :p Cuz they need my knees. To operate on.
    Visitors (female, and preferably people I actually know) are welcome. Provided they bring me entertaiment. And maybe a shawarma. 🙂
  • MEDIC!

    Aaaak! I broke my blog! Where is HF when you need him?

  • Apples, Oranges, Autism

    Apples, Oranges, Autism

    My blog needs an update – design and structure-wise, I mean. To replace the links I no longer have time to visit (sorry Blogistan!) with links I visit constantly- places like Autism-watch.org, the Assosciation for Science in Autism, Photon in the Darkness Blog- and a slew of blogs written by/for/about Autistics and Autism. It’s a natural shift for me to make, but one that seems odd nonetheless. When I started blogging.. ohh…six years ago- wait, has it really been six years?

    *checks archive*

    Yep, it’s been six years. And four months. My blog is older than both of my children, as well as my marriage. Ha!

    When I started blogging six years ago, I was a single, carefree, English-Accent teaching expat living in Pakistan with my parents, Owlie, and our little brother. I drove a mini-car named the Silver Bullet and went to the National Stadium Pool to swim laps, socialized all over town with my girlfriends and blogged about religion, life, and whatever sort of nonsense was Soup Du Jour. I wrote poetry and short fiction, played Playstation 2 until my eyeballs turned to glue, and baked compulsively.

    Fast forward six years, and I’m a (very, very) happily married special needs momma with one Autistic boy and one neurotypical Babysaurus Rex.

    (Iman is lately into biting. And slapping. And pulling hair. And screaming bloody murder when she’s put into time out)

    We see three ABA therapists, one OT, and almost no one socially. Phone calls with friends (if ever) tend to be about kids, fianance, real-estate, family, and very often, Autism. I’ve written no short stories, and only a handful of short poems, and even these were before Khalid was born. I wear comfortable sneakers because frilly shoes do not make good kid-chasing gear. I wear stain-resistant, highly patterened clothes and have invested in not one, but three pairs of sunglasses just this year, as both Khalid and Iman are equally bent on, well, bending them.

    I don’t think I am who I used to be.

    I would like to belive that I am better, but I think the most honest thing that I can say is that I am different. Comparing Single Abez to Momma Abez is a bit like comparing apples to oranges, except that this apple slowly started changing color and rounding out and woke up one day and said Hey, am I really an orange?

    I know I am more patient, but I also know that there are days and times when I desperately need time off, and I leave both kids at home with Cindy and HF or my parents (when and if they are in town) and escape to a coffee shop or mall.

    I’m not a big fan of malls, it’s just that here in the UAE in the summer, the mall is the closest thing to a community space that doesn’t resemble a convection oven. I think it’s 108F today. Not bad. Two days ago it was 114. The hottest I can remember has been 116.

    But yeah. I think I’m an orange now. Sometimes I miss being an apple- reading books all night and sleeping until noon the next day, having the time/brain power to write, the energy to bake, and the fitness of a person with the time to excercise and lift weights. But if being an apple again meant losing the entourage that has turned me into an orange- my HusbandFriend, Khalid, Iman- then I wouldn’t trade any of it.

    There are times when I can’t take my children for another second, but I can’t imagine life without them. And being a very complex kind of orange, I then ruin my time-off with overwhelming maternal guilt that causes me to sit in the coffee shop and sulk, and call home and complain to HF that I don’t know what I do when I’m not being Momma.

    *shrug*

    If anyone needs me I’ll be in the produce aisle. Next to the lemons.

  • Sweetest little drumming game to play

    I have to try this with Khalid. 🙂 Many thanks to Anonymous for sharing the Autismgames link!

  • Hats off to Dr. Balooshi

    For being my more interesting Orthopedic Surgeon. And since I told him about my blog (because I was looking for the video of my previous knee arthroscopy and knew I had posted here a while back) I am now obliged to wave at him. *waves* Hi Doc!

    Dr. Belooshi is cool. Not only because once, when I visited, he had a kilo of Belgian chocolates on his desk, but because he hooked me up with some painkillers after my tonsillectomy when my ENT let me down with a pat on the back and a ‘take two aspirin and call me in the morning’ approach to recovery.
    (I’ve learned, btw, that the reason why I wasn’t prescribed post-tonsillectomy Codeine as per standard practice, is because in the UAE it’s a controlled substance)
    But I digress. My knee is malfunctioning again- clicking and swelling and aching from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, so we’re going for another MRI and then possibly another arthroscopy. This time, I’ll be awake for when they poke the hole and then the camera inside. I’m feeling slightly weirded out by this. I’m ok with the sight of gore as long as it’s someone else’s. And on TV. I’m not sure what the point of keeping me awake will be if I’m just going to lie there with my eyes closed, gnawing on a corner of the blanket, hehe.
  • Peeta-Butta and other such verbal masterpieces.

    Khalid, time for a bath.

    No!

    Khalid, you want a bite?
    NooOOoOoOoO!
    Khalid, come here!
    Noooooo!
    Khalid, cookie?
    NooooOOOoOO! No! No!
    Khalid, shoes on!
    No no no no no nooooo!
    It’s a bit frustrating, but at the same time, still wonderful to finally hear what Khalid is thinking. He doesn’t want milk, he wants Joo. (juice)
    He wants the computer On! but his shirt Off! and he emerged from therapy this afternoon without a one. The nice therapist packed it in his lunchbox for us.
    We got him dressed this morning, and within minutes he came back to me and took my hand and said Off! Shoes! So we took them off. Then he whined and said no no nooo! And so I took the socks off too. And then he was happy.

    He wanders around the house calling out Ruuuuuuth! because he’s not sure where she’s gone. Ruth is working with another family, and Cindy, who has been us for two weeks now, is patiently teaching Khalid to say her name instead. (‘Indy!)

    Some of Khalid’s vocabulary can be a little difficult to translate though. Kim is milk, buhjo is puzzle, and tay-tow is lay down.
    And then there are the words that are clear enough, but adorably confusing. Like SheeEEEep. According to Word World, SheeEEEeep? is what you call out when you are looking for someone. Like your mother. You knock on the bathroom door, and you call out ‘SheeEEep?’ and your momma says ‘Yes Khalid, I’m in here.’ It also works in the kitchen.
    SheeEEep? (Yes, Khalid. I’m in the kitchen.)

    The best way to get Khalid talking is to entice him with what, in ABA terms, we call a reinforcer. In the real word, we call this bribery. 🙂 Today, I got Khalid to jump through verbal hoops for some peeta-butta. Yep, the kid loves his peanut butter.
    He knows the words blow and blue, but will sometimes confuse them. Last month his therapist asked him to repeat the name of the colored card he was holding. Khalid paused a second, leaned forward, and then blew on it very gently. Blow, blue- same difference, right? And he also blows on his drink because that’s what grownups do. But then he also tried to blow on the surface of the water in the toilet, and I’m pretty sure he’s never seen us do that.
    Khalid’s requests are all still one-worded, unless they involve the word No, in which case they can be up to six words, all of them the same and all of them all mashed together- No no no no no no nooooo! But still, Alhamdulillah, these are amazing and exciting times. 🙂
  • Fa inna ma’al usri yusraa, Inna ma’al usri yusraa

    Something amazing has happened almost every day this week, and I need to blog about it before I forget and lose the utter beauty and wonder of it all-

    Khalid is talking.
    If someone leaves a room, he says Bye-Bye. If he wants food, he opens the fridge and says Eat. When he wants a drink, he announces ‘Juice!’ until he gets some. He woke Ruth up the other day by poking her and saying “On!” and two days ago, when Khalid wasn’t very keen on the beef stir-fry we had for lunch, he turned his head and very clearly said “No!”
    All of this progress is just since the May 26th post, The Sweetest ROI. It’s almost like Khalid has had his Hellen Keller moment, and now that he understands what words are for, he’s using them whenever he can. He knocks on the door and says “Open!”and when someone honked in traffic the other day, Khalid answered with “Beep Beep!”
    Yesterday, he walked into the kitchen and loudly called out Sheeeeeeep! He’s copying words he hears in WordWorld. And that’s not even the best part. Today, Ruth and the kids went one way in the mall while I went to the other to buy groceries. After I had checked out, I pulled my phone out to call Ruth and the kids back, but before I could dial the number, I heard a distant and chirpy little voice call out Mamaa! I turned around incredulously, and there, a few shops down, was Khalid, running gleefully in my direction. He’s never called me before. And now, he called out to me and ran into my arms.
    Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.
    And later today, during the long drive back home, Ruth had been tickling Khalid by saying ‘Buzzzzz!’ and then poking him in the stomach. We call this electric fingers. Well, this same evening, Khalid walked up to me and poked his fingers into my stomach and shouted Buzz! looking at me with delighted anticipation. It took him two times to get the message across (Buzz, Buzz!!) but onceI got it, we had a hysterical laugh and I let him tickle me.

    He tickled me.
    And then he ran off to go bounce on his bed, and I IM’ed my sister, called my husband, and danced around the house out of joy. And I’m still walking on air. It’s midnight right now, but if I could call anyone else I would. But I can’t, so I’m blogging about it instead because I want to remember this forever and share it with everyone within earshot. Khalid tickled me!!!

    Six months ago, Khalid was non-verbal, aversive to being cuddled, almost impossible to interact with, threw tantrums constantly and was physically aggressive to the point that I used to keep him at arm’s length- literally. If Khalid ran up to me then, it was because he was going to scratch or pinch or hit me, so before he got there, I redirected him and moved away. He kicked doors and cabinets and banged his head against walls and mirrors and the floor. He would cry so hard he’d get a nose bleed, wake up in the night screaming, and was so in his own world that it was hard to believe he wasn’t deaf. That, in case I’ve never spelled it out before, is the tip of the autism iceberg.
    It may be false hope, or euphoria from the electric fingers talking, but this is the first time that I have an image in my mind of Khalid’s future as a normal, independent, young man- going to school, getting a degree, having friends, holding a job, getting married… Compare this to the image I’ve been trying to block out for months- Khalid needing constant care, feeding, diapering- even into adulthood. And I don’t want to talk about how it feels, as a parent, to wonder what will happen to your special needs child after you die. The world is a cruel place. They’re only special to you. To everyone else, they’re just freaks, and it’s easier to forget about them than to care for them.
    But that’s depressing, and right now, I want to luxuriate in this wonder and absolute joy. And while I can’t say I’ve reached a point where I’m happy that Khalid has autism, I am definitely at a point where I understand that if Khalid never had autism, then I would never know this kind of happiness. I would never have had to develop such patience, or experience how rewarding it is to see progress in a labor of love.

    Fa inna ma’al usri yusraa
    Inna ma’al usri yusraa.

    Therefore, after hardship will always come ease.
    Verily, after hardship will always come ease.

  • We’re up on the soapbox again!

    And we need your help to get votes!

    Khalid and I have entered a slideshow about Autism into powerpoint competition on Slideshare.net. The judges will only view the presentations with the most votes, so basically- you could have an award-winning presentation, but if no one votes for it, it’s not even in the running.
    So yes, we need votes, and we need your mother’s votes, and your sister’s votes, and your uncle-in-law’s votes, so if you wanna support Autism awareness, or if you would like to see blurry photos of Khalid and I in a slideshow, please watch our entry! And share the link with your uncle-in-law!
    Thank Yous!
  • The sweetest ROI

    ‘ama ‘ug!

    (Translation: Momma, hug!)
    Khalid said Momma. And then he said hug. And then I gave him the squeeziest of all Momma Squeezes and asked him to say it again. And he did. And then I hugged him again and sent him on his merry way to play with a puzzle, because if you hug him too much he just gets irritated. But still. He called me Momma. And he hugged me. And because I’ve waited three years to be called Momma, I think I’m entitled to some tears of joy.
    Alhamdulillah.
  • To paraphrase David Allen-

    There are some days when the only thing you’re good for is filling the stapler.  On those days, the most productive thing you can do is fill the stapler.  There is no point in trying to answer your email or put together a proposal or talk to an important client on the phone.  You haven’t the brainpower for it, so just be content to fill the stapler.  

    Today is a day for filling staplers.  But not too many of them, because they look heavy and complicated.
    I’m sitting in corner of Khalid’s therapy center with the laptop on my knees and a cup of black coffee by my side, I’ve also consumed copius amounts of decongestant, paracetemol, and herb tea.  I’m feeling like Ms.Pestilience 2009- and I probably look the part too.  I’m the lump in the corner with the hacking cough, blocked nose, and miserable looking eyes.  I got me some bad germs.  -koff-
    I’ve been staring at my computer, dutifully composing and recomposing the same email for the last forty minutes.  I finally picked out the last of the typos, fragments, and goobledygook that working under the influence of germs tends to produce and mailed it.  Now I need a break.  There’s a coffee shop downstairs and I hope they have chicken soup.
  • Where O Where is Khalid?

    Notice, no eye holes. Thank God we have soft furniture!

    Posted by Picasa
  • Let’s talk tonsils.

    So, tonsils.  They’re these things that don’t apparently do much.  I say apparently because they must be there for a reason, it’s just not apparent to us what it is yet.  The sole purpose of mine seemed to be the harbouring of illegal rabble-rousing bacteria who contributed to regular throat infections.  Pharyngitis, laryngitis, you name it, and I’ve had an -itis in it, and it probably meant antibiotics and losing my voice, or worse- finding my voice sounding like a chain-smoking truck driver, one that HF affectionately named Frank.  

    So about my tonsils.  They’re gone now.  But they are making darn sure I won’t forget them.  SubhanAllah for your health, Alhamdulillah- the ability to do something as simple as swallow is a blessing that you don’t appreciate until unable to, you end up spitting blood into tissues while your body convulses in pain.  I am not being dramatic.  I am being honest.  Alhamdulillah, I think the worst may be over, but that could be because my orthopedic surgeon (who had nothing to do with the tonsillectomy)  saw me this afternoon for a follow-up and graciously prescribed me a shot of painkillers.   He’s a Good. Person.  
    Around half an hour after the shot, I was able to see the world a little more optimistically, as well as swallow my own spit, and once the warm numbness spread throughout the rest of my throat, HF and I hightailed it to Tony Roma’s, where I had my first meal in three days.  I washed it down with three huge glasses of iced tea.  That was four hours ago.  The pain killers will be wearing off soon, and I’m guessing that my outlook on this whole tonsillectomy thing will get much bleaker when it does, but for the moment, I think I’m ok.   Iman is sitting on my desk eating cheerios and laughing just a few inches away from the keyboard.  Khalid and HF are out dropping off Ruth- it’s her day off, and she’s worked hard juggling both kids while I’ve been out of commission, and she really needs the break.  
    My brain feels a bit fuzzy, and I’m pretty sure that this blog entry will make less sense later than it does now.  Also, thank God for spellcheck.  
    The End.
  • All the cool kids are coming…

    AssalamuAlaikum Everybodies!

    As everyone and their mother must know already, my son Khalid is autistic, and Alhamdulillah, with treatment we’ve seen really amazing progress. He has started to talk- he has five or six words in his vocabulary now and we are overjoyed. Alhamdulillah, we’ve been able to pay for this therapy he needs, but there are eight families here who can’t afford to have their children treated.

    The Red Crescent of the UAE and the Child Early Intervention Medical Center are hosting a walk to raise funds for them. I am posting the invite here, and would be grateful if people could attend or spread the word to anyone and everyone in the UAE.

    The walk is at Zaabeel Park, at 5pm, Thursday the 30th of April. There will be fun activities for children and the chance to meet and learn from people whose lives are affected by Autism.

    JazakAllahuKheiran!

    Photobucket

  • Wow.

    Because this is the Best. Email. Ever. Received just a few minutes ago. From my beloved. God Bless.

    —-

    Dear Beloved,

    I apologize if the contents in this mail are contrary to your moral ethics which I feel may be of great disturbance to your personal life, but I feel quite safe dealing with you. Though this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you through it because it remains the fastest, surest and most secured medium of communication. However, this correspondence is purely private, and it should be treated as such. I am contacting you based on trust and confidentiality. I have reposed higher confidence in your ability to handle this matter perfectly for my sake. I am serious minded person. I am Mrs. Judith Shumejda, I am 51 years old, a widow to late Mr.John Shumejda who was the President of agricultural equipment giant AGCO Corp, who perished on the 4th of January 2002 in a plane crash in Birmingham.

    After going through some files of my late husband, I discovered a Deposit Certificate of (£15Million) (Fifteen Million Pounds) with a Bank in London. But due my sickness, I have not been able to claim this fund from the Bank, as I have been in the hospital in Liverpool and my sickness continue getting worst. I am suffering from a protracted cancer of the lungs which has affected my brain. From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond the next Six months to eight months, this is because the cancer stage has reached a critical stage.

    Please View the Website below:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/1742404.stm
    http://edition.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/01/04/england.plane/

    Please in your response, send me the following information to enable me validate you as the legal beneficiary of this funds:

    1) Your full names:
    2) Mobile phone number/home phone number/office phone number:
    3) Age:
    4) Address and Marital status:
    5) Company’s name & address:
    6) Precent Country:
    7) Name of your next of kin:

    These whole information is what I need from you so that I can present a Letter of Authorisation to the Bank where the money is deposited to contact you as the beneficiary for this funds transfer. Send your urgent response to (helpmrsJudithshumejda@gmail.com)

    Your assistant will be highly appreciated.

    Thanks and God bless.

    Mrs. Judith Shumejda

  • Hat? Okay!

    Hat? Okay!

     

    Iman Helping Mar 2009
    Iman is helping. Thanks kid.

    I never thought I’d be so happy to report that my son will just NOT stop babbling. Although his vocabulary has yet to cross the ten-word mark, he has begun to mimic sounds and start conversations with people other than me- the most amusing of which is generally Iman. Khalid will grin excitedly at her, and say ‘Okay?’ and Iman will beam and reply ‘Hat!’ Of course, it’s much more than just ‘hat,’ to Iman, it’s a prolonged, ecstatic exclamation of haaaaAAAAAAt! in a high-pitched squeak bordering on baby giddiness.

    Admiring the handsome little boy in the mirror.
    Admiring the handsome little boy in the mirror.

    Yes, Iman says hat, and she says it loud, and she says it clear, and it is as meaningful to her as ‘Okay’ is to Khalid. They had a three-way conversation yesterday with the Imam of the masjid during Isha prayer. It went like this.

     

    Imam: (over loud speaker) Allahu Akbar

    Khalid: Okay?

    Iman: Haaaaaaaat!

    Imam: Sami’Allahu liman Hamida

    Khalid: Okay!

    Iman: haaaaAAAAAAAAAAT!

    Imam: Allu Akbar

    Iman: HAAAAAAT! HAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

    Khalid: Okay!

    Iman: haaaaaAAAAAAAAT!

     

    Of course, right after the jamaat finished, someone came over and banged angrily on the divider between the men’s and women’s sections, and frankly speaking, I was seriously offended. Yes, my kids were making noise, but children make noise in the masjid all the time. I was still praying though, and so my kids continued to fill the large, echoing dome of the masjid with hats and okays until the Imam came and knocked on the door (gently) of the women’s section and asked Ruth (who opened the door) to please bring the children outside.

    When I finished praying I walked out and outside the women’s side entrance, saw HF talking to two men, presumably the Imam and one other local. Khalid, upon seeing HF, ran and flung himself into his arms and unleashed a series of happy Okays! According to HF, as soon as Khalid did this, both the men changed their stances from stern to understanding. It’s easier to be mad about someone’s bratty kids when 1. you can’t see them and 2. they’re not autistic.

    Ruth and the kids & I waited in the car while HF talked with the Imam & Co for about ten minutes. Alhamdulillah, this is one wonderful thing about HF, if a situation gets tense, he doesn’t get mad, he gets charming. I told this to Ruth, and she laughed. “You’ll see,” I said, “By the time he finishes talking to them he’ll have made some new friends.”

    And of course, he had. After an explanation of autism and Khalid’s understanding (or the lack thereof) the Imam invited him over for tea repeatedly and was disappointed when HF politely deferred. The second man then plied HF for his life story and then asked him to come over and fix his computer. Numbers were exchanged. We went back home.

    Ruth took the kids in and threw them into their respective tubs, and then I had a good cry about things with HF outside.  True, the matter isn’t black and white- kids need to be taught how to behave in a place of worship, adults need to manage their problems more tactfully than by banging on the walls of the woman’s section- but it all boiled down to this- I’m not allowed to complain about having an autistic child, so neither is anyone else.
    I went to the salon last week for a quick trim, and Khalid, misunderstanding the situation and thinking it was his head on the chopping block, went into red-alert tantrum mode and ended up crammed under a chair while kicking the wall and screaming. Calming him down failed, and so I told the woman to just finish as soon as possible so I could pay and take Khalid home.
    The sweet receptionist tried (to no avail) to distract Khalid- to offer him sweets, to engage him while he was busy screaming.  This lasted around ten minutes.  The other ladies stared disapprovingly at me while Khalid raged and the hairdresser snipped.  When it was done and I had paid,  I collected Khalid from his well-kicked corner, and said to one of the other hairdressers, “Sorry about the noise, he thought he was going to have his hair cut, and he doesn’t understand.”
    They stared blankly and I told them he was autistic.  They didn’t know what that meant, I told them he was mentally around 1 years old and had little idea what was going on.  Ooooooh….now they got it, he had some problem with his brain?  They asked polite nervous questions and the air changed from frigid to embarrassed.
    I don’t know whether there’s a crash course somewhere for being a ‘special needs mom,’ but I think I’m doing as well I can with the amount of training I got. :p  I adore Khalid, he is the most beautiful, crazy, energetic, loving little man, and that other people don’t understand him is not his fault.  Nor is it theirs, but I’m not about to start apologizing for him being the way he is.  Allah allows everything to happen for a reason, and even if it’s just to teach everyone around him a little more patience, that’s a good enough reason for me.
  • Because Iman deserves a post too, gosh darnit!

    Photobucket

    Iman is 30% pouffy hair and 70% attitude. At 11 months, MashaAllah, she takes herself on high-speed crawling tours of the house, following me, Ruth, or the vacuum cleaner. She also ventures out on her own for daring expeditions under the dining table, behind the curtains, and occasionally into a tangle of computer wires where she will become stuck and then cry to be rescued.

    Iman is an optimist. She will crawl over to Khalid and try to take what he’s playing with. Then she’ll get pushed over, not maliciously, but in a matter-of-fact sort of “You, down.” from Khalid, who isn’t hitting her, but moving her out of his way. The point is though, she tries, and repeatedly tries, and above all, believes that one day she will win the car/block/bottle/sock/cracker that her bigger, stronger, faster brother exercises eminent domain over.

    Iman is willful and stubborn and aggressive in a way that is unbecoming for a little girl the size of a house cat. As Khalid was big, Iman is small, and her last visit to the pediatrician reported that she is underweight, but healthy, active, and a little on the shrimpy side for a big-haired diva.

    Iman is generous, and will share whatever she is licking/sucking/gnawing on with a person half-way across the room by holding it at arm’s length and grinning happily at the person. The person is then expected to smile, close their eyes and say ‘num num num num!’ while air-munching the proffered cracker/ball/key chain.

    Iman is quick. Not just on her little hands and knees, but on the uptake. She sings along with ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,’ signs for Hat, Dog, Clap, and Duck, and even says Ruth. Yes, she says Ruth. Not Momma, but Ruth, and while it cut my heart to pieces to hear that, I can’t beat myself up too badly- Ruth takes care of Iman while I take Khalid to therapy, and she does a wonderful job playing with, singing to, caring for, and feeding Iman while Khalid and I are out from when we leave in the morning until we get home late in the afternoon, or evening if I stop to buy groceries or run errands. Ruth is a godsend, and leaving Iman in her care for most of the day is necessary in order to get Khalid the help he needs.

    Iman is growing. way. too. fast. It seems like yesterday she was born and today she’s moving rapidly from baby-ness to toddler-hood. She’s started to pull herself up to standing position using the legs of the dining chairs, and soon she’ll be cruising around the furniture, she is- Up! Gtg!

  • HE SPEAKS!

    HE SPEAKS!

    Photobucket

    Khalid’s favorite word in the entire world:

    OKAY!

    This is how it’s used. Locate a random item. Find your mother. Hand it to her. Grin expectantly. Mom sez Thank You! and Khalid sez OKAY! and wanders off to find another item.

    (Last week I ended up with a pile of shoes in my arms, six or seven pairs deep, each one of which was delivered to me, individually, with an expectant smile and Khalid’s squeaky little Okay!)

    Khalid has started to copy words pretty consistently in therapy- like Up, and On, and Cup, but the only word he’s using of his own volition (and within his own personal context) is Okay!

    Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

    Also, there’s another use for the word ‘Okay!’ Khalid and I, during our hour-long drive to therapy in the morning, have conversations that go like this:

    Khalid (watching me expectantly from his car seat): Ah, ah, Okay!

    Me: Okay!

    (Khalid beams and wait a few seconds while basking in the glow of successful conversation. Then he looks to me again and says…)

    Khalid: Ah, ah- Okay?

    Me: Okay!

    And we continue like this, through Abu Dhabi territory, past Jebel Ali, cruising into Dubai, zipping through our morning commute and sharing deep and meaningful and beautiful words like Okay.

    Best. Word. In. The. World.

    Okay!

  • The Husbandfiles: A compilation of non-traditional ways of responding to ‘I Love You."

    Photobucket

    I love you.

    I know.
    I love you!
    Yeah, me too!
    I love you.
    Ok.
    I love you so much…
    And I love you a little more than that.
    I love you more than chocolate cake
    Are you sure?  Because last I checked, chocolate cake loves me alot…
  • What, us nocturnal again?

    Photobucket

    Iman is taking a tour of the living room right now. By herself. Her commando-crawl skills have really picked up in the last few days, and despite being sick and having an ear infection, she still enjoys a good reconnaissance mission over to the corner of the sofa or the edge of the carpet so she can stare intently at its patterns. At the moment, she’s crinkling a grocery list that she discovered under the coffee table.

    It’s been a pediatric quarantine-athon here at home, Khalid had a week of high fever followed by a cough, and as soon as he go better, Iman started down the same viral road. She’s just getting over her week of high fever, and is on antibiotics for an ear infection as well. Me, I woke up two days ago sounding like a chain-smoking truck driver, which is typical for me when I get a cold. Now it’s my turn to be sick, and in addition to sounding like a truck driver, I also feel like I’ve been beaten by a truck driver.

    It’s 1:30 am right now, and Iman wakes up when she can’t breathe properly (which has been every night for the last week) out of her nose. She’s running out of steam now, and I hope we can be in bed within another twenty minutes InshaAllah. Oh, good news! I almost forgot to blog this! *smacks forehead with keyboard* Four days ago, Khalid made the sign for hat! He patted his head, put the hat on it, and then made the sign again! That’s the first sign or form of communication he’s ever made with us, apart from saying ‘socks’ once, and I was nearly doing cartwheels! I am so excited, and so looking forward to being able to communicate with him! Please make dua that this progress continues. There have been so many changes in his behavior since we started therapy, and it’s only been three weeks! InshaAllah, InshaAllah, InshaAllah! Alhamdulillah!

    Oh, Iman’s starting to cry and pull her ears, so it’s time for me rescue her and take her to bed. Gtg!

  • The Art of Khalid BinWaleed- The Early Masterpieces

    Khalid,Khalid

    As seen in the Le Gallerie de’home, Blue Square (left) and Scribble Star (right)

    Both pieces are said to represent the artist’s passion for geometry.

  • This must be what it’s like when your kid graduates from med school

    My little boy, my handsome little son, is painting. A blue square. With washable paints, with slow, deliberate jabs at the paper, and his little tongue poking out in concentration.

    I. Am. So. Proud.

    *gets misty eyed*

    Khalid’s working with one of his therapists right now. We began his ABA two weeks ago, and we now drive into Dubai four days a week for Khalid to learn things like matching colors, and stacking shapes, and how to talk (InshaAllah, one day) and also, how to paint a blue square. 🙂

    Iman is home with Ruth, her BFF as well as our full-time Khalid-chaser. Ok, technically, she’s a nurse, but she lives with us and helps me with the kids and the house and takes care of Iman while I take Khalid to therapy and keeps me company as well and compliments my cooking. I am reluctant to call Ruth the ‘help’ or the maid or the nanny, because there’s a negative stigma attached with 1. Being the ‘help’ or 2. Hiring help. But that’s another post for another day InshaAllah. Right now, I’m just going to sit here and beam.

    *beam*

  • 16 Things You Never Wanted to Know, but too bad. So There.

    1. I have a hard time filling out these ‘Random Things About Me’ lists. Even now I’m very self conscious about what I type here. Half of the time I worry about being shamelessly self-aggrandizing, the other half I worry that being normal may be seen as a deliberate attempt to be ‘lookit me, I’m so righteously humble.’ Apparently,

    2. I over analyze. Or perhaps, I’m guilty of exposing myself by the lens through which I fear being seen.

    3. I’m worried about being seen as arrogant or fake. One then wonders, is that because I am either

    4. Secretly very arrogant or

    5. Secretly very fake? I hope that I am neither, but I recognize that my personality harbors elements of both. Compare this to being told that:

    6. I channel pre-school teacher. Someone I love told me that once, and I was hurt by that. I wasn’t sure why, I just knew that was an incorrect analysis of what I was, and realizing the incongruence between my inside (Abez Soup) and my outside (Preschool Teacher?) made me feel incredibly artificial.

    7. I hate pretending.

    8. I’m wondering where I’m going with this, and whether I’m exposing way too much of myself instead of just filling out sixteen silly things like

    9. I once met Morgan Freeman and

    10. I own silver sneakers.

    Pretending is a kid in camo pants. Being is a soldier in camo. My preschool teacher exterior is not the candy coating, it’s the work of years of nafs-beating, lip-biting, hard-earned restraint. 11. I am not pretending to be nicer than I am, I am being nicer than I want to be, given that I am

    12. Impatient

    13. Self-Righteous and

    14. Naturally inclined to vengeance. My façade is not to keep the light of prying eyes out, it’s to keep the darkness restrained within.

    I think I’ve lost direction on this. Also, this may be way more than anyone has ever wanted to know about me. (So, did I tell you about my sneakers yet?) I think this meme and the preschool teacher comment just happen to come at the same time, and when I sat down to fill out that one silly list, I came up with this silly one instead.

    What’s the moral of this story? You might not want to dismiss “nice people” you meet as being one-dimensionally Good, any more than you should be absolutely certain that patch of leaves isn’t a commando.

    15. I talk too much.

    16. I rearrange the furniture every time HF goes on a bidness trip. Where’s your sofa now, HA!

  • Time again, for another 2 am post.

    HF is en route to Australia for a bidness trip, and we, The Circus, are left to our own devices for this week. Apparently our devices involve rolling around the floor sucking on building blocks. Well, those are Iman’s devices anyway. She’s the reason I’m up cooking instead of down snoring- I woke up at 12:46 to giggling and pulling of the strings on my hoodie, which, in addition to fist-sucking and foot-waving, is Iman’s way of letting me know she’s fully charged and ready to party.

    So here we are, it’s a party.

    (Wave your feet in the air like you just don’t care?)

    Khalid began ABA therapy last week at the autism center in Dubai, Alhamdulillah, and it’s amazing to see him already picking up the things he’s refusing to learn there. :p Khalid will resist instructions to clap his hands until we’ve used up every tissue in the box and he’s blue in the face from crying, but he will go home at the end of the day and furtively clap his hands in a corner. The therapists have told us that they can see he is intelligent, but he has compliance issues. In other words, he will refuse to do something solely because you asked him to. That makes sense, after all, the motto Khalid seems to live by is ‘You and What Army?’

    Alhamdulillah, he has made progress though, because he’s starting to realize that no matter how hard he fights, he won’t be released from that crazy place where he’s made to stack blocks against his will. Poor baby.

    Iman is learning things too. Just this week, she’s started a precurser to crawling- the commando-wiggle. I’m sure it has a real name, it’s that thing you do under barb-wire on your elbows while pinned down by enemy fire. Whatever it’s called, she used it just now to wiggle under the desk and start pulling my pant leg. Two days ago, she used it to get to my feet and diligently suck my toe, thereby entering the record books for ‘Most Adorable Distraction During Prayer By A Baby Ever.’

    Well, Iman is rubbing her eyes and wriggling unhappily, so I think maybe the party is over. Let me whisk her off to bed. Khalid and I have to hit the road at 9:30 am to get to his therapy on time.

    Peace & Tarka Grease!
    -The Circus

  • Word.

    My crazy ridiculous non-verbal son (that would be Khalid) finally has an ID necklace, and because I have failed to located a medical-alert vendor in this country, he’s wearing dog tags. And because the chain we hang them on has to be sturdy enough to survive his annoyed attempts to remove it, he’s wearing some seriously chunky-looking bling.

    Ah, my lil gangsta…

    So Khalid’s tags have his name, his nationality, AUTISTIC written in capital letters, and both HF’s and my phone numbers engraved on them. I must say, he actually looks really cool. I’ll see if I can post a pic.

  • Ask me why I’m throwing my tupperware away.

    Poisonous plastic

    By Kim O’Hare

    A move by the Canadian government in late April has caught the attention of health conscious people around the world. Canada announced its intention to ban the import, sale and advertising of baby bottles with the controversial chemical bisphenol A (BPA). That could be just the tip of the iceberg, since the chemical is widely used in many food containers ranging from plastic drink bottles to food storage containers.

    UAEasy.com pictureThe proposal marks the beginning of a mandatory 60-day consultation period. The announcement comes after a lengthy review of the chemical under the government’s Chemicals Management Plan. Recent research has shown that bisphenol A is an estrogenic hormone disrupter that causes reproductive damage and may lead to prostate and breast cancer in adulthood. Babies are particularly vulnerable, since most traditional plastic baby bottles leach bisphenol A into the milk they drink.

    “Although our science tells us that exposure levels to newborns and infants are below the level that cause effects, we believe that the current safety margin needs to be higher. We have concluded that it is better to be safe than sorry,” said a government release.

    While the proposed ban does not include sale, import and advertising of water bottles and other food containers, major retailers across the country were pulling plastic drink containers containing BPA off store shelves within hours of the announcement. Retailers say demand for baby products with the controversial chemical come to an abrupt halt.

    Depending on whom you talk to, BPA is either perfectly safe or a dangerous health risk. The plastics industry says it is harmless, but a growing number of scientists are concluding, from some animal tests, that exposure to BPA in the womb raises the risk of certain cancers, hampers fertility and could contribute to childhood behavioural problems such as hyperactivity.

    According to its critics, BPA mimics naturally occurring estrogen, a hormone that is part of the endocrine system, the body’s finely tuned messaging service. “These hormones control the development of the brain, the reproductive system and many other systems in the developing foetus,” says Frederick vom Saal, Ph.D., a developmental biologist at the University of Missouri. Endocrine-disrupting chemicals can duplicate, block or exaggerate hormonal responses. “The most harm is to the unborn or newborn child,” vom Saal says.

    BPA is not some new kid on the chemical block. It was first discovered in the 19th century and concerns about health risks were first raised in the 1930’s. It was thrust into the spotlight by a laboratory mishap in August 1998. An American geneticist noticed chromosomal errors in the mouse cells she was studying had shot up – from one or two percent to 40 percent. She traced the effect to polycarbonate cages and water bottles that had been washed with a harsh detergent. When her team replaced all the caging materials with non-polycarbonate plastics, the cell division returned to normal.

    UAEasy.com pictureConcern over bisphenol is likely to spread due to its wide use. If you consume canned soups, beans and soft drinks (organic or not) you may be swallowing residues of BPA that can leak out of the tin linings into your food. Nearly all tin can liners contain BPA, says the Can Manufacturers Institute.

    Part of the problem lies in the chemical’s tenacious behaviour. BPA has been found to leach from bottles into babies’ milk or formula; it migrates from tin liners into foods and soda and from epoxy resin-lined vats into wine; and it is found in the mouths of people who’ve recently had their teeth sealed. Ninety-five percent of Americans were found to have the chemical in their urine in a 2004 biomonitoring study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

    If you own polycarbonate bottles, including those hard plastic refillable bottles that have become so popular in recent years, Check the bottom for a number #7 inside the recycling symbol. If you have a bottle like that, wash it by hand, away from the extreme heat and harsh cleansers of a dishwasher, to avoid degrading the plastic and increasing leaching of BPA.

    Look for cracks or cloudiness on your reusable clear plastic bottles. Use glass baby bottles or plastic bag inserts, which are made of polyethylene, or switch to polypropylene bottles that are labelled #5 and come in colours or are milky rather than clear. Choose soups, milk and soy milk packaged in cardboard “brick” cartons, by Tetra Pak and SIG Combibloc, which are made of safer layers of aluminium and polyethylene (#2) and also recyclable.

    Eat fresh foods in season and save the canned foods for convenience or emergencies. The exception is some canned fruit such as that found in smaller fruit-cocktail cans, which do not require a liner, according to the Can Manufacturers Institute. Some wines have been found to contain up to six times the BPA of canned foods. While most wines probably don’t, it’s another good reason to drink in moderation.

    There are seven classes of plastics used worldwide in packaging applications. Type 7 is the catch-all “other” class, and some type 7 plastics, such as polycarbonate (sometimes identified with the letters “PC” near the recycling symbol) and epoxy resins, are made from bisphenol A monomer. When such plastics are exposed to hot liquids, bisphenol A leaches out 55 times faster than it does under normal conditions,

    Types 2, 4, and 5 are believed to not leach chemicals in any significant amount. Type 1 and Type 6 have unreacted phthalates and styrene, respectively, which could leach under certain conditions, but these resins do not use bisphenol A during polymerization and package forming.

    ***

    CANADA ACTS — First nation to ban BPA
    Government protecting citizens from harmful chemicals

    Anthony Kovats
    Monday October 27, 2008
    The act is groundbreaking and once again places Canada at the forefront of progressive thinking.
    Just days after the last ballot was cast in the 40th federal election, the Tory minority government has jumped into the international spotlight by being the first nation banning the use of bisphenol A (BPA), the controversial plastic used in popular water and baby bottles and as a liner in food tins.

    The announcement, made over the Oct 17 weekend, has been on the government agenda for the better part of a year and is now a reality — BPA is on Canada’s toxic substances list.
    “With our chemical management plan that we’ve put in place, this is one of 16 chemicals or substances we have tried to reduce or eliminate,” said Wetaskiwin MP Blaine Calkins.
    “Canada is taking a leadership role when it comes to eliminating these products from our environment, especially in situations where it can harmful to our young children.”
    BPA is a chemical used in the manufacturing of a diverse range of plastic consumer products ranging from beverage containers, dental sealants and even car interiors.
    There is yet to be any definitive agreement among scientists on how much BPA exposure is safe for humans, but the consensus is that BPA does pose a health risk.

    Federal Health Minister Tony Clement announced six months ago that Canada would become the first country to label BPA a dangerous substance and ban its use in baby bottles.
    The health minister now has the option to ban the importation, sale and advertising of polycarbonate baby bottles containing BPA.

    The levels of bisphenol A that most Canadian adults are exposed to are not considered harmful, but Canadian and international environmentalists have said studies support the need for a complete ban on the use of BPA in consumer products.

    However, it is still too early to determine how the government will implement this measure or how this will affect industry.

    “Most Canadians understand that we are what we eat and we are a product of our environment and this is a way to improve the health and safety of all Canadians,” Calkins said.

    In Great Britain, researchers discovered in a study of approximately 1,500 people, that those diagnosed with heart disease or diabetes had higher concentrations of BPA in their urine.
    And other studies have found that BPA leached out of the linings of cans heated to temperatures similar to those used during sterilization processes.

    It has also been recently discovered that BPA interferes with brain processes involved in learning and understanding and may cause infertility and obesity in mice.
    Canada’s decision to declare BPA a toxic substance is being seen as proactive, but Calkins added it is what Canadians should expect from government.

    Cognizant of the potential effects this can have on the public all the way to landfill management; Calkins believes this is just another example of the country’s proactive measures when dealing with the overall health of the nation. We are able to take this chemical out of the environment.”

  • Recipe: Cream of 3am Soup

    • One suddenly awake, insanely cheerful baby
    • Two small onions, finely chopped
    • 4 cloves garlic, crushed or minced
    • One baby-bouncer
    • One rubber Spatula
    • 1/3 cup butter
    • 3-4 cups chicken stock (or water & 2 chicken cubes)
    • Frozen mixed veggies
    • 2 cups finely chopped chicken breast
    • 4 cups milk

    Combine baby and baby-bouncer, set aside. In a medium soup pot, saute onion and garlic until onions are golden brown.

    Entertain baby with rubber spatula and periodic tickling. Add chicken breast to sauteed onions and cook over medium heat with:

    • 1tsp sage
    • 1tsp dried dill
    • 1/2 tsp black pepper
    • 1 tsp salt

    When the chicken is cooked, add chicken stock and frozen mixed veggies. Allow to boil for 15-20 min because frozen mixed veggies can be tough little suckers. Sing to baby, ward off drowsiness, mix 1/2 cup flour in 1 cup cold water. Dissolve flour well (else, suffer from lumpy soup) and add to pot. When the flour thickens, take the baby out of the bouncer (because she’s getting kind of cranky now) and add 3 cups milk to the mixture. Bring to boil and allow soup to thicken. (5 min, max).

    Dance around kitchen with baby in arms, add salt to taste.

  • T’was the night before Wednesday and all through the house…

    It’s 2:12 in the ay-em, and Iman is finally asleep. Me, I think I’m pulled back together now. 🙂 For a while I was feeling like a Jenga tower when you’ve pulled too many of the bits out of the bottom and tried stacking them on top, but I’m feeling better.

    Also, I think Iman deserves a post. She’s been shuffled to the sidelines by her Prima Donna brother on the blog, which is fitting, since that’s what tends to happen in real life too, but that’s a post for tomorrow maybe. Right now, I just want to crawl into bed behind HF and fall happily asleep.

    🙂

  • You guys…

    If I’m not responding to my comments it’s because I feel… embarrassed.

    I am not brave, I am not strong, I am not amazing.

    I alternate between insane optimism and resigned dread.

    I am not the Super-Mom of a Special-Needs Child, I am the “So, how do we cope today?” type.

    I am pushing forward because the only way out is through.

    Still. It’s warm and fuzzy to feel believed in though.

    🙂

  • The Autism Post, Take One

    I’ve tried to sit down and write about this several times, but I keep hitting a wall. I’ve only spoken about it to one or two friends. HF has informed the general rest of them, and me, I don’t want to talk about it. Not because I’m embarrassed, but because I’m emotionally raw. I can touch on it briefly, clinically, lightly, and be ok. But emotionally, I’m avoiding the topic in a way you want to avoid standing beneath a dam suspiciously crisscrossed with duct-tape.

    So we’ll be brief, clinical, light.

    Autism is a brain development disorder that Khalid has. His in-depth assessment begins on Sunday, Insha’Allah. It will take several sessions with the clinical psychologist. After that, we will begin the necessary therapies to help him learn as much as he can and bridge the verbal, social, and physical development gap between him and “normal” children.

    (There’s a lot of duct tape on the dam. A few post-it notes too. Some sad-looking safety pins…)

    Well, at least now we know what’s wrong- why nothing I’ve ever tried to teach Khalid has worked, why everyone and their mother seemed to be waltzing through motherhood while I stumbled, blundered, and tripped my way over “such basic things” as sleeping, talking, shape-sorting, social interaction, potty-training… Grim satisfaction can be had in knowing that hey, when all those things they said should work failed, at least it was for a reason other than my own maternal incompetence.

    (It’s because you spoil him)
    (It’s because you’re babying him)
    (It’s because you’re not being consistent)
    (It’s a matter of will-power)
    (It’s
    because you nursed him too long)
    (It’s
    because you always picked him up when he cried)
    (It’s
    because you are working when you should be paying attention to him)
    (It’s
    basically you)

    __

    Take Two: Well, that thread was going down the negative tubes fast, so I closed the draft and left it alone for the last week. Fast-Forward to today, Wednesday, and Khalid’s assessment is done and we’re waiting for the detailed report upon which the therapy outline will be based.

    Khalid is, as the clinical psychologist said, “definitely autistic,” which dashed my slim hopes of him somehow, someway, not really being autistic. At the same time, I felt relieved to be confirming the problem, because now we’re one step closer to the solution, InshaAllah.

    🙂

    There, I typed a smiley face, and I actually mean it. 🙂

    The Autism therapy center we’ve picked is a bright, colorful, toy-crammed, series of rooms in Dubai where Khalid and I will be spending a few hours a day for therapy. I don’t know how many hours yet, but the average is 20 a week. I’m looking forward to it, and can’t wait to start seeing progress- I feel nervous and happy and excited at the prospect of Khalid talking, or signing, or finally communicating with us in some way.

    What I’m not looking forward to though, is the daily drive from Abu Dhabi down to Dubai, which has already started to play havoc with my knee. My busticated knee is also my driving knee, so I’m scheduled to visit the orthopedic surgeon again (who is by now, a family friend) on the 19th. I think I’m supposed to get Hyalgan injected into my knee again. It’s nature’s WD-40, whee! It’s also kept in a small refrigerator somewhere in the doc’s office, and when he shoots it, cold, into my knee, it’s the weirdest, inside-out kind of feeling.

    Hmm, what else is up. I had a custard apple for the first time in my life today. I understand the ‘custard’ part, since it does have a sweet and vanilla-y flavor. The ‘apple’ part is still off though. In Thailand, the name for the custard apple is the same word for ‘grenade,’ and that would make slightly more sense, if grenades were creamy instead of explosive.

    And in the continuing spirit of randomness, I met a nice employee of a -Large Bookstore Name Here- yesterday whose name was Sugar Rey. I wonder if he thinks women are always hitting on him. (Hey there, Sugar…*heart*)

  • By Zeba, The End.

    Khalid has been diagnosed with autism. I can’t even begin to explain how this feels. We’re still in planning/coping/assessing mode. I just quit my job. Regularly, I cry myself to sleep. I can’t write about this right now. I’m too busy trying to figure it out.

  • When you get old, bits start falling off

    I remember quite clearly the point at which I realized that teeth got worse when you got older. I was eight or nine, and we were still living in our apartment on Elmdale. I had been playing in the bedroom and I’m not sure whether I had come back from the dentist that day or whether it had been a few days before that, but I do know that I had not enjoyed it. I decided then and there, that when I was a grown-up I wasn’t going to tolerate any of this drilling business. I was going to have all my teeth removed in one go and either

    a) wear dentures like Grandma did, or
    b) have new fake teeth screwed into my jaw.

    I’m not sure where I got the idea of fake teeth, but I did know that fake teeth didn’t get cavities and therefore couldn’t be subjected to a drilling.

    Then, as time progressed, other things starting going down hill- I got sick, I got chubby, I passed through the ugly adolescent years and came out on the other side of awkward young adulthood. I got migraines, acne, and a little down the road, my appendix removed. Then I moved into independent adulthood and got stress-induced gastritis, stretch marks, more migraine, and my knee torn up in a car accident. (If you’re looking for me in Dubai, I’m the one with the headache, the limp, and the antacid in my purse. Also, two kids.)

    Through all this, I’ve carried with me a nagging, niggling discontent about the fragile nature of the human body. (I’m supposed to go at least fifty years with this thing, I thought, and it’s falling apart now?) I managed to keep myself out of the realm of ingratitude by reminding myself that God never gave us warranties, but that was a just a bandaid, not a cure to the discontent.

    The good news is, I haven’t started visibly aging yet, so I can’t complain about crow’s feet. The better news is, I’ve had an epiphany, and I think I’ll be ok when the crow’s finally do that rolling hoppity-skip into our world.

    Are you ready for it? The Epiphany? It’s sort of obvious, and I know alot of people will wonder what took me so long and how I managed to not realize this ages ago, but still- it was an epiphany to me, so here it goes:

    Sons of Adam inveigh against [the vicissitudes of] Time, and I am Time, in My hand is the night and the day.

    This is Hadith Qudsi (a hadith where the Prophet, peace be upon him, said that Allah said “…”) that basically takes my malcontent, crumples it into a little ball, and then drop-kicks it across the room. I’m not allowed to complain that my teeth are sagging and my bones are groaning and my bits are falling off because these are the vicissitudes of Time. They aren’t proof of shoddy construction or lack of manufacturer warranty. They’re not a flaw in the system, they are the system at work.

    The ‘ravages of time’ do their part in this world, which would be unfair, if this world was it. Alhamdulillah, it’s not. This is the battle ground, the gauntlet, the litmus test of faith and fortitude, and as such, we do the best we have with what we’ve got. And what we’ve got is designed to fall apart, because that’s part of the test.

    I read this Hadith years ago, and it was filed away without being fully synthesized. Back then, the “Vicissitudes of Time” seemed to be more like the rise and fall of civilizations maybe, or the loss of pristine beauty on earth due to man’s presence, or the crushing erasure of life through natural disasters- and it’s not that these too, don’t fit into the description. It’s just that my limited understanding came to the conclusion that things that tested your faith had to make mountains crumble or ecosystems perish, not just your teeth fall out.

    So yeah. In my tiny soul, in my petty universe, once upon a time, life wasn’t fair because I got migraines and ulcers and had to pray sitting down because my knee was irrevocably damaged.

    But yeah, I’ve had my epiphany. I understand now, Alhamdulillah, that my health is just one of the cards I’ve been dealt by a Just and All-Knowing dealer. It’s part of the game. When we all get up and leave the table, we’ll be on the same terms- there will be no more sickness, no more trials, no more tests to pass. Man will stand alone with nothing but his deeds, his own heart, and his own soul as proof of how well he played the game. Regardless of the cards he was dealt.

    InshaAllah.

  • W00t! W00t! W00t!!!

    The Owl has landed, repeat, the Owl has landed!

    WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!