Chuck Chiselface: Good morning folks, and welcome to another edition of “Extreme Home Obstacle Course!”

Greta Grinstoomuch: Hiya folks, we’re coming to you live from this week’s crazy course, precariously located in the home of Abez, our contestant for this week.

Chuck: And what a contestant she is Greta, have you seen the battle scars on this one?

Greta: Oh yes Chuck, they say that Abez is an experienced obstacle-course runner, having over a week with this difficult course, and the bruises to prove it!

Chuck: That’s right Greta, and let’s take a look! This 3D image of Abez shows you just how many hits she’s taken while trying to navigate her way through this cluttered house, look at the shiner on that elbow, and the huge contusion on that shoulder!

Greta: Yep, that’s a big one Chuck. She got that one in the Bedroom-Doorbell Rally held last week when she took a turn too quickly and slammed into a stack of boxes she wasn’t expecting.

Chuck: Ouch! And look at the scratch on her knee, that one’s from the furniture that was pushed out of the way to make room for more obstacles. They say it snuck up on her in the middle of the night and got her good!

Greta: It may have, but she may just get the furniture and boxes back! They’ve been strewn about in a pre-move madness that can thwart even the toughest of obstacle course contestants. Not only are there narrows passages, hairpin turns and stacks of dangerously balanced boxes to stand in the way, but the marble floors present of slickness factor that would upset the balance of a cat!

Chuck: That’s right folks, and today is Abez’s chance to prove herself in the ultra-tough, hyper-extreme course, the Phone Call Challenge!

Greta: Boy that Phone Call Challenge is not for softies. Our contestant will have to start all the way on the second floor, and then when the phone rings down stairs, will have only thirty seconds to rush down and answer it before the caller gives up!

Chuck: But that’s not the hardest part, the hardest part is the course, a wicked staircase cluttered with boxes and crowded to a hairpin turn at the bottom banister. Then there’s a quick left to right switch as you have to juke past the refrigerator and then the computer table in a matter of seconds, then skid quickly left and make it to the telephone across the treacherously slippery marble floor!

Greta: That’ll be quite a task Chuck, and to think, she’ll be working without a net!

Chuck: Well, it’s T minus five second until the phone will ring, let’s watch!

Greta: Five, four, three, two-


Chuck: And she’s off! Our cameras have her leaping from the upstairs sofa and rushing to the top of the stairs!

Greta: Oh, and now she skids to a stop just before falling headlong down the stairs, that was a quick save, these marble floors are killer! Wait, she’s flying down those stairs!

Chuck: Oh, and a brilliant save there, she just grabbed the banister and is swinging around it to avoid smashing into the wall at the end of the stairs, what a pro!

Greta: Oh no, look she’s clipped the side of the computer table and she’s losing her balance…

Chuck: She’s been turned about 180 degrees and oh no, not the fridge!


Chuck: Oh, that’ll leave a mark, but wait, she’s still going!

Greta: I can’t believe it, she’s picking up speed and approaching the last turn! There she goes, and oh I can’t look!

Chuck: She’s sliding out of control, she’s heading right for the dining table and-


Greta: She’s down! She’s down!

Chuck: I don’t like the look of that, see how she’s sprawled out on the floor, and there are only seven seconds until the phone stops ringing…six, five, four…

Greta: Get up! Come on, get up!

Chuck: Three, two- I can’t believe it, she waving away the paramedics and getting up!

Greta: There she goes, she’s limping towards the phone, oh this is amazing, I’ve never seen so much dedication in an athlete with such severe injuries…

Chuck: The phone stopped ringing two seconds ago but she’s still going on…

Greta: She got it! She made it to the finish! What a run Chuck, what a run.

Chuck: She might not have gotten the phone but I tell you folks, with a performance like that’s she’s a winner in my book!

Greta: Wow, that was amazing folks.

Chuck: It was Greta, this’ll be one for the records. Well folks, that’s it for today’s episode. Tune in next week for another episode-

Greta: And another exciting obstacle course, with “Extreme Home Obstacle Course!” Bye!

Chuck: Bye!

-end transmission-


Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on

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