Today is the end of day three without Khalid’s caregiver and therapist Joy, insert witty jokes about the lack of Joy in our lives here.
Also, I don’t like email any more. Or my phone. Or the internet. It all represents the constant inflow of work/requests/obligations that I am simply not equipped to handle without Joy on staff, and I am beginning to realize that in order to cope I may have to go partially AWOL from work. Every time I open my inbox I see letters that needed urgent replies yesterday, work that’s overdue, follow-ups that I couldn’t make. My RTM is an itemized list of so many pending tasks that the red flags are meaningless now. I am frustrated, and the problem with being frustrated is that even if you do have five minutes to answer an email, you’re too frustrated to try. It’s cyclical.
And I’m tired. And frustrated.
And in the course of all this, my love, prayers, and admiration to all the autism mothers out there who DON’T have the benefit of trained caregivers, because you are braver, stronger, more patient women than I am. You are also smarter than I am, because you’re probably not trying to launch a business and do consulting on the side. You probably have your priorities straighter, and you might sleep better too.
I know this entry is uncharacteristically depressing for me, but it’s been a tough three days. Unless I put everything else on hold, I can’t give Khalid the attention he deserves. But because business moves whether or not you do, I can’t. But at the end of the day, I might as well, because I’m so far behind that things are becoming irrelevant.
Sabr and Shukr. Owl reminded me of Sabr and Shukr. So I’ll take two of those. And maybe, if I don’t hate my phone too much, you can call me in the morning.