A conversation with you, dear Internet

  Me: Hey Internet, guess what! You: What? Me: I got my disabled parking spot approved the other day, hooray! You: Congratulations…? Wait, why do you need a disabled parking spot? Me: Oh. Well, I kinda omitted this from my blog for the past few years, but the muscles in my body are atrophying for…

This made me feel better today

The Prophet Ô∑ļ was asked, ‚ÄúO Messenger of¬†AllńĀh, which of the people are the most sorely tested?‚ÄĚ He said: ‚ÄúThe Prophets, then those similar, then those similar. A man will be tested in accordance with his level of faith. If his faith is strong, he will be tested more severely, and if his faith is…

Take THAT racial inferiority complex, HA!

A few days ago, Iman was sitting at the dining table next to me coloring when she put down her crayons and pouted. “Momma, which crayon is my skin? It’s not this one,” she said, holding up the¬†Caucasian¬†“skin-tone” crayon. “And it’s not this one,” she said, holding up the brown crayon.¬†“Which crayon is my skin?”…

How to melt momma with happiness

Khalid: Momma, what does the word “hang out” mean? Me: To hang out? That means to spend time together talking and enjoying someone’s company. Khalid: Okay, right. Can we hang out? Me: I’d love to. ūüôā Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah.

Hehe

Two cows are standing in a field. ¬†One turns to the other and says, “Hey, aren’t you worried about that whole mad cow disease thing?” “Why should I?” the other cow replies, “I’m a helicopter.”  

HAMMER TIME!

Sometimes I wonder how much longer that I -writer, doodler, talker, teacher, dreamer- will be able to continue working as a director. ¬†Managing people, services, cashflow, and strategy- these all rub against my Muslim-hippie nature like a¬†hair shirt. But since I don’t have a choice, the only thing I can do is suck it up,…

And I quote

Khalid: Momma, when I die…? Me: (putting my drink down slowly) Yes Khalid? Khalid: And my body goes into the earth…? Me: Yes? Khalid: Will people remove my fossils and put them in a museum? Me: No dear, they won’t. Khalid: Why not? Me: Because you’re not a dinosaur dear. _____ Iman: (is looking through…

Because caterpillars turn into butterflies

My father very proudly says that we are direct descendent of Genghis Khan. ¬†I believe him, and require no other proof than the eyebrows I inherited from my ferocious genealogy. ¬†Regardless of whether I have Genghis Khan’s eyebrows, I definitely have my father’s eyebrows, and while they look perfect on a cuddly, hairy, white-bearded man,…

Three shades of crazy. And locusts?

AssalamuAlaikum Blogistan, hope you’re doing well! It’s been a while since I’ve written, and like most of my letters, this one starts off with an apology for being late too. So yeah. Here’s an update. Alhamdulillah, my children are gorgeous and amazing. Check! Alhamdulillah, HF is the perfect trophy-husband as usual. Check! Alhamdulillah, we are…

A non-poem.

I want to write a poem I want to turn this pain Into something beautiful But my hands are tired And my tools are bent.

Third time’s the charm?

So HF is kindly accompanying me to my third of three urgent doc visits this week- I’ve been jumped by bronchitis, sinusitis, and laryngitis simultaneously, and it’s taking some tweaking of my antibiotics to keep me reasonably upright and functioning within working requirements. I’m embarrassed though- because I’m here in the ER. Again. And as…

They grow up so fast?

This morning, as I was power-walking up the hall on the way out the door (to drop kids off at school) I was stopped in my tracks by this: Musfira in her footie pajamas, standing at the bathroom door where HF was inside getting ready for work, holding a sippy-cup in one hand and knocking…

BEST SPAM EVER

I got this in my work email today. Normally spam makes me angry, but today, it made my day. In fact, it made me feel sociable, and…fluffy? Subject: Whatsup Bro: You have drawn my attention to a site of acquaintances. I hope, as I shall like you. How I to you in a photo? The…

Enunciation, The Sequel

Khalid and I are in his doctor’s office for a visit, and we make a bathroom stop. ¬†I carefully hand Khalid my purse and a folder of papers. I’m a little nervous, but I want Khalid to get this right. Me: Khalid, I am going to use the bathroom. ¬†I would like you to please…

Next time I’ll enunciate?

Khalid, Iman and I stop in to use the restroom before I swing by a legal office to pick up some papers for work. I am holding a large, black leather document binder with fancy official paperwork inside. Me: Khalid, I would like to use the bathroom, would you watch this for me please? Khalid:…

Thanks Miffy.

For my next act, I will sit down and write. I will write about writing. I will write about the internet. And then, I will post my writing on the internet. *applause* It begins with a physiotherapist named Miffy. Miffy has been twisting me into knots for over two years now, and Alhamdulillah, her multi-disciplinary…

If you can’t say anything nice…

The parents of a child who made gradual but consistent progress for the year and a half my therapists worked with him left the country with an unpaid bill of 16,000 aed (that’s roughly 4,000 dollars) after promising to pay. ¬†They ignored my phone calls and emails for three months. ¬†I caught the mother out…

Gorgeously *Normal*

Me: Khalid, can you give Musfira one of your chips please? -Khalid looks into bag- Khalid: I’m sorry, I don’t have any more. Me: (Sappy happy grin) **** Khalid: Did you know, the trains in Train Conductor 2 run in New York! Me: New York? Khalid: Yeah, not old York, New York. ¬†That’s funny! Me:…

Homeschooling: We are now.

I’m worried about Khalid. ¬†He hasn’t been feeling well these past few days, and his tolerance for things has been reduced to almost zero. Can’t find train? Sob. Don’t like color of cereal? Sob. Don’t want to greet guest? Sob. Thomas the Tank engine dubbed in Arabic? MELTDOWN. When we ask him questions, he doesn’t…

Iman’s Dua

Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallll the gifts. Oh Allah, thank you for paradise. Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallll the children in this life. Oh Allah, thank you for the nice clothes. Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallll the buildings Oh Allah, thank you for aaaaaaallllthe grandmas and nanas. Oh Allah, thank you for me. Ameen.

Cleaning up my desktop

I have the bad habit of using my desktop to keep unsorted files in view until they can be assigned to a file in my vast, over-sorted dropbox. ¬†Some things though, aren’t like to find a home, and fit into the category of: Stuff I’d like to read again. ¬†Tonight though, my beloved lappy is…

One of the upsides to autism

Last week over breakfast, Khalid sneezed and then said: “Alhamdulillah. ¬†Momma, now you say- Yarhamakullah, and then I say yahdeekumAllahu wa yuslihu balakum.” You can stare blankly for a moment. ¬†That’s what I did, and then I realized- he’s been reading through every page of the Dua Kids application on my iPhone, and as usual-…

Alhamdulillah for ABA

One of the reasons why I am so grateful for Khalid‚Äôs autism is ABA- Applied Behavior Analysis.¬† In the context of teaching a child with autism, ABA can be broken down in to two core concepts: 1)¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† The teaching of tasks from simple to complex 2)¬†¬†¬†¬†¬† The reinforcement of correct behavior and extinction of incorrect…

Bi Khair, Alhamdulillah!

Khalid came running to my room this morning, “Momma, I need a tissue.” (I’ve heard this one before.) “Khalid, what happened?” “In the kitchen.” In the kitchen Khalid had poured himself a glass of juice all over the floor and Musfira seized the opportunity to crawl into it and have a seat. ¬†So not only…

Three Hadith you’ve [prolly] never heard

Suhaib Webb published an short list of authentic but little-heard hadith¬†here, and three of them really caught my attention. ‚ÄúThe believer is friendly and likeable*1¬† and there is no good in the one who is not friendly nor likeable, and the best of them are the most beneficial to the people.‚ÄĚ (Sahih al-Jami) ‚ÄúHellfire has…