Abez | Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Oops.

Broke my blog layout. Again. Hehe. I’ll get it figured out, InshaAllah. Until then, sorry!

AssalamuAlaikum Blogistan! So this is where I answer all of the shorter questions that were left last time. Some of you had longer and significantly more important questions, and InshaAllah those will be answered separately. But here we go: Sumaiyah September 8, 2014 at 2:22 PM (Edit) Boss… How do you make applesauce? *Sounds…

In a nutshell. In Chicago.

AssalamuAlaikum from Chicago! Did I mention I’m in Chicago? Right, sorry. So, as part of the unexpected life changes in our lives we’re in Chicago at the moment. Don’t worry, I still live in Dubai, but we’re here to see an Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome specialist, and by we I mean me, myself, and all three of…

First Come, First Served; Rubina!

What is your schedule like? I have a 7 month old now, any suggestions on how to be a calm parent, how to give the right tarbiyat, how to incline them towards Islam and the spicy Desi food. – Rubina AssalamuAlaikum Rubina. 🙂 Children are weird, sticky, lovely, quirky, fascinating miniatures of ourselves- doubly as…

Ask me something. Please.

So, until I can get my head around the new and exciting challenges in my life and blog about it, let’s think of something to do while we’re waiting! I’m not very good at writing sometimes, but I can answer questions like a boss. Seeing as how I’m the director, technically even the most poorly worded…

Silence is Golden

So I haven’t updated in a while. I understand that, for people who don’t follow me on twitter, that could mean that I’ve gone and died. Fair enough. My twitter handle is @zebasez. In case you want to see if I haven’t died yet. I’ve been meaning to write but the problem with writing is…

No Hands

The Husbandtrolls

Me: Did you know that Muslims killed Dracula? HF: That makes sense, Muslims hate fun. Me: That’s the title of the lecture, don’t you remember? HF: “Don’t You Remember?” That’s a terrible title for a lecture. *trollface* :p

The Tale of Peter Rabbit

As part of our homeschooling exercises, I give Khalid written questions to answer about stories we’ve read. This was his terse, and entirely pragmatic response to the epic tale of Peter Rabbit. 🙂 Who is Peter Rabbit? He was the rabbit who robbed Mr.McGregor’s garden. What did his mother tell Peter Rabbit and his…

The lion sleeps

The Four Quls

Update on the Owl

So if there were ever any doubts that Owl is a dramatic, attention-seeking medical diva- allow me to lay them to rest. On July 1 she went in for her CT Angio. This is where they injected a radioactive dye into her brains to see how the aneurysm was doing. Turns out the aneurysm was doing…

Past and Present Tense

It Auschwitz it dripped
In Palestine in drips
From flesh it freshly flows
From the body as it rips

Are we there yet?

Seven months ago my lil sister of DeGrouchyOwl fame was diagnosed with a time bomb in her head, AKA an inter cranial aneurysm. In her brain. Yeah. Really. I know right. How rude. Here I am being all dramatic and in mortal medical danger and she comes along with her upstart aneurysm to steal my…

Dubai vs. Bed Bugs- FIGHT!

I dedicate this post to a friend, whose current state of perpetual war against invisible blood-sucking enemies not only qualifies her as a vampire-huntress, but also takes me back to the good ole days when I too had… bedbugs. It was the year 2009, and we had bedbugs. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t relax, couldn’t stop…

Meh.

I am officially taking my blog back. From whom, you may ask. From myself. Because one part of me took my blog and claimed it in the name of Writing, while another part of me was like Hey, I was using that for catharsis! What gives! So I’m taking my blog back and claiming it…

Stick and Stones May Break My Bones.

Bones will heal and bruises fade
But time can’t heal the hurt words made.

There are no stitches for stupid bitches,

Lazy brats, you big retard

(no person’s hand could hit as hard)

Inquiring minds want to know

Someone asked me about Musfira. Here you go. She’s almost three. She has the tiniest, adorablest, most comically novelty-sized bottom. MashaAllah. Last week she painted her hair pink. That was… fun. She got into some makeup and did a fairly decent job. I wasn’t even mad. When she wakes up it’s morning o’clock. When she…

Ilm Fest 2014, here I come!

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, HF has agreed to wrangle the kids on his own and let me zoom off to Ilm Fest! I’m going to Malaaaaaaysiaaaaaa! And also? I’m too busy to write properly. Away!

Dear Tired of Trying

“Do you still have that ‘fear/depression’ after the shattering? I do.. still. The shattering did make me gain more trust .. But .. the fear of those trials or the depression still remains in a corner. I am still dangling between Hope and Fear (from the trials, Astaghfirullah).” -Tired of Trying

Must… not… break… salah!

I’m trying to concentrate on prayer, and the following conversation transpires before me:

Musfira: Iman, canna have a cotton candy?

Iman: Musfira, these are cotton balls, not cotton candy.

Musfira; Notta candy?

Iman: No, it’s not candy. Do you know what this is made of?

I’m thinking of an animo…

Our lil family has a favorite game, and the way it’s won is by preserving momma’s sanity with three children and no volume control. We stick to animals to keep it simple, and a turn always starts with the phrase “I’m thinking of an animal,” followed by three clues. We play the guessing game during…

Short Update

I think I may not have updated for over a month. High score! So here’s the world’s shortest summary of last month: Iman: Grommets in, tonsils & adenoids out. Two weeks off school, ice-cream and lollipops FTW! We spent a day and a half in the hospital. The first day was fun, because morphine. She…

The Economics of Sex

Forget the naked lollipop schtick and the oversimplification of covered = protected and protected = virtuous.

Hijab is about setting the market value for yourself in an economy driven by sex and how much it’s currently going for.

Update

I am busy curating powerful germs. Because everyone needs a hobby. By Abez, The End.

Really Oughtta be a National Holiday…

Alhamdulillah, our office has finally been moved into the premises of the larger organisation that we are joining. It’s a real office. With real people. And when you’re me, every day is Take Your Toddler to Work Day! I think Musfira likes it so far. We get up, have breakfast, get out of our pj’s,…

MAMA, I HEP YOOOO!

These days, there are four magic words from Musfira’s mouth that cause me to go into instant state of anxiousness.

“Mama, I hep yoo!”

Last Night

It is the way of man that if
Sin should maul his hand
He at once withdraws and cradles it
And marvels at the pain…

JazakAllahuKheiran :)

I invited myself over to a friend’s house yesterday. Normally I invite people over to my house instead, but since we’ve been without a housekeeper for the past three weeks, I don’t think any of my friends would appreciate an afternoon in the sty with tea and- well, that’s it. Tea. Because I don’t have…

Musfira’s Recipe for Homestyle Chocolate Cupcake

Ingredients:

200 grams of Hersheys unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup (that’s it, one plastic cup)
1 flat, dry work surface. Preferably a coffee table.
20 minutes of suspicious silence…

Caution: Rant Ahead

The mechanism of autism is unknown, and that’s ok. Research takes time, especially when you’re talking about complex neurological disorders. We- the people who have to manage autism behaviorally before it can either be prevented or effectively treated- find meaning in our role in making the lives of children better before we can make their…

Being two and a half is awesome

Musfira comes skipping excitedly into my room:

Musfira: Momma! Iss somefing!

Momma: Yes dear?

Musfira: Somefing inna body went pffft!

(Musfirs grabs her bottom with both hands and grins)

Update: check

Frazzled. That’s a great word. I like it. I will now use it. I don’t have a housekeeper again. My sister is leaving for Singapore for neurosurgery and three weeks in hospital in two days. Work is work. Enough said. My mother is moving apartments. That means I am helping my mother move apartments. I…

Tales of Toddler Genius

Musfira asks Momma for a cookie.

Momma gives Musfira a cookie.

Musfira receives the cookie and folds it carefully into a tissue and…

Cue Motivational Music… now.

So HF made me write a list of affirmations. Cheesy, I know- but surprisingly effective. Everyone needs an anchor sometimes, and right now, mine is affirmation number one: I am an overachiever. I won’t bore you with the rest of the affirmations, but that’s the one I’m leaning on right now because gosh darnit I…

Iman’s first blog

GOT THE BIGGEST ICE CREAM LOVE IMAN Note from Momma: Iman typed this blog by herself, and I had no intention of making any changes, but when autocorrect underlined her spelling of “bigist,” she had to ask why the computer was putting red lines under her words. So we had an impromptu spelling lesson for…

Got caught

I woke up this morning, and I noticed that Musfira was already awake and singing in her crib. I wanted to use the bathroom before picking her up and activating Mommy Mode for the day, so I stood up quickly when she was looking the other way, starting tiptoeing and then-

Sometimes, I love autism :)

Last week or so- HF decided that we were going to stay up super late (or some of us, nap super late) and then go out and watch the Geminid meteor shower with the Dubai Astronomy Club. I thought it was a lovely idea. The grand reveal to the children went something like this: HF:…

An Najm

Will ye laugh and yet not weep for the years you’ve lived asleep?

Asleep to numb your fears,

And numb to soothe your cares?

The Mother of All Mommaisms

So I went into the bathroom yesterday. I picked up a kids toothbrush and I squirted some pink, raspberry flavored, fluoride-free toothpaste on it. Then, I opened my own mouth, popped it in, and got halfway through brushing and humming the toothbrush song before I realized I was on autopilot. I laughed so hard my…