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Abez sez Assalamualaikum!

Islam, Autism, Mom-ism.

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Articles by Abez

Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, Muslim hijabi Momma of Khalid, a special little boy with autism, and Iman, a special little girl with specially big hair.
  • Abez
  • November 23, 2014November 24, 2014
  • 5 Comments on Whee?

Whee?

There’s this thing in writing where you just make yourself write non-stop for a certain amount of time without the pressure of a desired outcome of the expectation of making any sense.  I call it blogging. 😉 So I’m going to be on the radio…

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  • Abez
  • November 11, 2014November 11, 2014
  • 1 Comment on So I did actually update

So I did actually update

It just wasn’t here. 🙂 Read it here

  • Abez
  • November 2, 2014November 23, 2014
  • 3 Comments on My brain is out of shape.

My brain is out of shape.

Some people say writing is an art. That’s because they’re silly. Writing is a sport actually- it’s like exercise for parts of your brain that otherwise go soft and floppy without creative stimulation. The less you write, the weaker your writing muscles become. Eventually they…

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  • Abez
  • October 22, 2014
  • 2 Comments on Oops.

Oops.

Broke my blog layout. Again.  Hehe. I’ll get it figured out, InshaAllah.   Until then, sorry!

  • Abez
  • October 8, 2014October 22, 2014
  • 4 Comments on The catch-up game!

The catch-up game!

AssalamuAlaikum Blogistan! So this is where I answer all of the shorter questions that were left last time.  Some of you had longer and significantly more important questions, and InshaAllah those will be answered separately.  But here we go:   Sumaiyah September 8, 2014 at…

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  • Abez
  • September 19, 2014
  • 7 Comments on In a nutshell. In Chicago.

In a nutshell. In Chicago.

AssalamuAlaikum from Chicago! Did I mention I’m in Chicago? Right, sorry. So, as part of the unexpected life changes in our lives we’re in Chicago at the moment.  Don’t worry, I still live in Dubai, but we’re here to see an Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome specialist, and…

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  • Abez
  • September 12, 2014September 12, 2014
  • 6 Comments on First Come, First Served; Rubina!

First Come, First Served; Rubina!

What is your schedule like? I have a 7 month old now, any suggestions on how to be a calm parent, how to give the right tarbiyat, how to incline them towards Islam and the spicy Desi food. – Rubina AssalamuAlaikum Rubina. 🙂  Children are…

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  • Abez
  • September 8, 2014
  • 16 Comments on Ask me something. Please.

Ask me something. Please.

So, until I can get my head around the new and exciting challenges in my life and blog about it, let’s think of something to do while we’re waiting! I’m not very good at writing sometimes, but I can answer questions like a boss.  Seeing as…

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  • Abez
  • August 26, 2014August 26, 2014
  • 8 Comments on Silence is Golden

Silence is Golden

So I haven’t updated in a while.  I understand that, for people who don’t follow me on twitter, that could mean that I’ve gone and died.  Fair enough.  My twitter handle is @zebasez.  In case you want to see if I haven’t died yet. I’ve…

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  • Abez
  • August 24, 2014
  • 1 Comment on No Hands

No Hands

  • Abez
  • August 10, 2014August 24, 2014
  • 3 Comments on The Husbandtrolls

The Husbandtrolls

Me: Did you know that Muslims killed Dracula? HF: That makes sense, Muslims hate fun. Me: That’s the title of the lecture, don’t you remember? HF: “Don’t You Remember?”  That’s a terrible title for a lecture.  *trollface* :p  

  • Abez
  • July 12, 2014July 12, 2014
  • 1 Comment on The Tale of Peter Rabbit

The Tale of Peter Rabbit

As part of our homeschooling exercises, I give Khalid written questions to answer about stories we’ve read.  This was his terse, and entirely pragmatic response to the epic tale of Peter Rabbit. 🙂 Who is Peter Rabbit? He was the rabbit who robbed Mr.McGregor’s garden.…

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  • Abez
  • July 11, 2014
  • Leave a Comment on The lion sleeps

The lion sleeps

  • Abez
  • July 10, 2014July 11, 2014
  • 3 Comments on The Four Quls

The Four Quls

  • Abez
  • July 7, 2014July 8, 2014
  • 6 Comments on Update on the Owl

Update on the Owl

So if there were ever any doubts that Owl is a dramatic, attention-seeking medical diva- allow me to lay them to rest. On July 1 she went in for her CT Angio.  This is where they injected a radioactive dye into her brains to see how…

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  • Abez
  • July 7, 2014July 7, 2014
  • Leave a Comment on Past and Present Tense

Past and Present Tense

It Auschwitz it dripped
In Palestine in drips
From flesh it freshly flows
From the body as it rips

  • Abez
  • June 23, 2014June 26, 2014
  • 4 Comments on Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Seven months ago my lil sister of DeGrouchyOwl fame was diagnosed with a time bomb in her head, AKA an inter cranial aneurysm.  In her brain.  Yeah. Really. I know right.  How rude.  Here I am being all dramatic and in mortal medical danger and…

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  • Abez
  • June 16, 2014June 16, 2014
  • 11 Comments on Dubai vs. Bed Bugs- FIGHT!

Dubai vs. Bed Bugs- FIGHT!

I dedicate this post to a friend, whose current state of perpetual war against invisible blood-sucking enemies not only qualifies her as a vampire-huntress, but also takes me back to the good ole days when I too had… bedbugs. It was the year 2009, and…

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  • Abez
  • June 15, 2014June 15, 2014
  • 14 Comments on Meh.

Meh.

I am officially taking my blog back. From whom, you may ask. From myself.  Because one part of me took my blog and claimed it in the name of Writing, while another part of me was like Hey, I was using that for catharsis! What…

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  • Abez
  • June 4, 2014June 16, 2014
  • 2 Comments on Stick and Stones May Break My Bones.

Stick and Stones May Break My Bones.

Bones will heal and bruises fade
But time can’t heal the hurt words made.

There are no stitches for stupid bitches,

Lazy brats, you big retard

(no person’s hand could hit as hard)

  • Abez
  • June 1, 2014June 2, 2014
  • 5 Comments on Inquiring minds want to know

Inquiring minds want to know

Someone asked me about Musfira.  Here you go. She’s almost three. She has the tiniest, adorablest, most comically novelty-sized bottom.  MashaAllah. Last week she painted her hair pink.  That was… fun. She got into some makeup and did a fairly decent job.  I wasn’t even…

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  • Abez
  • May 12, 2014
  • 6 Comments on Ilm Fest 2014, here I come!

Ilm Fest 2014, here I come!

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, HF has agreed to wrangle the kids on his own and let me zoom off to Ilm Fest! I’m going to Malaaaaaaysiaaaaaa! And also? I’m too busy to write properly.  Away!

  • Abez
  • May 8, 2014May 9, 2014
  • 7 Comments on Dear Tired of Trying

Dear Tired of Trying

“Do you still have that ‘fear/depression’ after the shattering? I do.. still. The shattering did make me gain more trust .. But .. the fear of those trials or the depression still remains in a corner. I am still dangling between Hope and Fear (from the trials, Astaghfirullah).” -Tired of Trying

  • Abez
  • April 1, 2014April 1, 2014
  • 6 Comments on Must… not… break… salah!

Must… not… break… salah!

I’m trying to concentrate on prayer, and the following conversation transpires before me:

Musfira: Iman, canna have a cotton candy?

Iman: Musfira, these are cotton balls, not cotton candy.

Musfira; Notta candy?

Iman: No, it’s not candy. Do you know what this is made of?

  • Abez
  • March 28, 2014April 1, 2014
  • 5 Comments on I’m thinking of an animo…

I’m thinking of an animo…

Our lil family has a favorite  game, and the way it’s won is by preserving momma’s sanity with three children and no volume control.  We stick to animals to keep it simple, and a turn always starts with the phrase “I’m thinking of an animal,”…

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  • Abez
  • March 28, 2014March 28, 2014
  • Leave a Comment on Short Update

Short Update

I think I may not have updated for over a month.  High score! So here’s the world’s shortest summary of last month: Iman: Grommets in, tonsils & adenoids out.  Two weeks off school, ice-cream and lollipops FTW! We spent a day and a half in…

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  • Abez
  • March 12, 2014May 9, 2014
  • 1 Comment on The Economics of Sex

The Economics of Sex

Forget the naked lollipop schtick and the oversimplification of covered = protected and protected = virtuous.

Hijab is about setting the market value for yourself in an economy driven by sex and how much it’s currently going for.

  • Abez
  • March 12, 2014March 28, 2014
  • 7 Comments on Update

Update

I am busy curating powerful germs. Because everyone needs a hobby. By Abez, The End.

  • Abez
  • February 18, 2014February 18, 2014
  • 5 Comments on Really Oughtta be a National Holiday…

Really Oughtta be a National Holiday…

Alhamdulillah, our office has finally been moved into the premises of the larger organisation that we are joining.  It’s a real office.  With real people.  And when you’re me, every day is Take Your Toddler to Work Day! I think Musfira likes it so far.…

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  • Abez
  • February 5, 2014
  • 1 Comment on MAMA, I HEP YOOOO!

MAMA, I HEP YOOOO!

These days, there are four magic words from Musfira’s mouth that cause me to go into instant state of anxiousness.

“Mama, I hep yoo!”

  • Abez
  • February 3, 2014May 9, 2014
  • 1 Comment on Last Night

Last Night

It is the way of man that if
Sin should maul his hand
He at once withdraws and cradles it
And marvels at the pain…

  • Abez
  • January 28, 2014January 29, 2014
  • 14 Comments on JazakAllahuKheiran :)

JazakAllahuKheiran :)

I invited myself over to a friend’s house yesterday.  Normally I invite people over to my house instead, but since we’ve been without a housekeeper for the past three weeks, I don’t think any of my friends would appreciate an afternoon in the sty with…

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  • Abez
  • January 22, 2014January 22, 2014
  • 4 Comments on Musfira’s Recipe for Homestyle Chocolate Cupcake

Musfira’s Recipe for Homestyle Chocolate Cupcake

Ingredients:

200 grams of Hersheys unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup (that’s it, one plastic cup)
1 flat, dry work surface. Preferably a coffee table.
20 minutes of suspicious silence…

  • Abez
  • January 19, 2014January 20, 2014
  • 3 Comments on Caution: Rant Ahead

Caution: Rant Ahead

The mechanism of autism is unknown, and that’s ok. Research takes time, especially when you’re talking about complex neurological disorders. We- the people who have to manage autism behaviorally before it can either be prevented or effectively treated- find meaning in our role in making…

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  • Abez
  • January 19, 2014January 19, 2014
  • 1 Comment on Being two and a half is awesome

Being two and a half is awesome

Musfira comes skipping excitedly into my room:

Musfira: Momma! Iss somefing!

Momma: Yes dear?

Musfira: Somefing inna body went pffft!

(Musfirs grabs her bottom with both hands and grins)

  • Abez
  • January 16, 2014January 16, 2014
  • 2 Comments on Update: check

Update: check

Frazzled.  That’s a great word.  I like it.  I will now use it. I don’t have a housekeeper again. My sister is leaving for Singapore for neurosurgery and three weeks in hospital in two days. Work is work. Enough said. My mother is moving apartments.…

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  • Abez
  • January 7, 2014January 7, 2014
  • 5 Comments on Tales of Toddler Genius

Tales of Toddler Genius

Musfira asks Momma for a cookie.

Momma gives Musfira a cookie.

Musfira receives the cookie and folds it carefully into a tissue and…

  • Abez
  • December 23, 2013
  • 3 Comments on Cue Motivational Music… now.

Cue Motivational Music… now.

So HF made me write a list of affirmations.  Cheesy, I know- but surprisingly effective.  Everyone needs an anchor sometimes, and right now, mine is affirmation number one: I am an overachiever. I won’t bore you with the rest of the affirmations, but that’s the…

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  • Abez
  • December 22, 2013
  • 4 Comments on Iman’s first blog

Iman’s first blog

GOT THE BIGGEST ICE CREAM  LOVE IMAN Note from Momma: Iman typed this blog by herself, and I had no intention of making any changes, but when autocorrect underlined her spelling of “bigist,” she had to ask why the computer was putting red lines under…

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  • Abez
  • December 22, 2013December 22, 2013
  • 1 Comment on Got caught

Got caught

I woke up this morning, and I noticed that Musfira was already awake and singing in her crib. I wanted to use the bathroom before picking her up and activating Mommy Mode for the day, so I stood up quickly when she was looking the other way, starting tiptoeing and then-

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