Hey, good news for a change!

Alhamdulillah!!!  I’m going to be publishing my first book!

Given the last ten or so years of my blogging history, you’ll be surprised to hear it isn’t actually full of mortal wounds, kids stories, and personal reflections.  It’s actually a children’s book, and I’m very excited.

The reason why I’m so excited is that the story is part of My Legacy. Yes, I’ve made it a proper noun for emphasis.  For more information, see the new My Legacy tab on the top of the page.  The way I see it, if I am not around to have important conversations with my children later, that doesn’t mean that I can’t script them now.  So I’ve started writing stories for children, specifically, mine. And yours might enjoy them too.

I want to have at least one published story for Khalid, Iman, and Musfira.  Iman’s has been accepted.  Khalid’s was rejected, but the very kind publishers said they’d give it another look-over to see if reviewing it one more time will make it seaworthy.  Musfira’s has been imagined but not yet completed, but hey, well begun is half done!

I’ve asked the publisher if they can actually illustrate the books to look like my kids, because if I’m not there, I want the kids to be able to see themselves still talking to me.  I know, it’s kind of sappy- maybe even melodramatic, but when I think about passing away, the thing that tears at my heart most is not being away from my husband (sorry HF), it’s actually the thought of my children looking for their mother and not being able to find her.  Of Iman seeking a cuddle and finding my empty room.  Of Musfira crying for me and being hurt and confused why I’m not coming for her.  Of Khalid panicking because I’ve disappeared and he can’t understand where I’ve gone.

If you think that’s bad (gee, look who’s crying again) the absolutely, positively worst thing I can think of is my children finding out that I’ve “gone back to Allah,” and then resenting Allah for having stolen their mother.  My worst case scenario is my death pushing my children away from Islam, because as sad as I am to face leaving them in this life, that’s still nothing compared to the thought of any of my children turning away from Allah.  So the stories serve a dual purpose, InshaAllah- of creating memories for my children in case I’m not there to make them, and of teaching my children about Allah in a way that reminds them of me positively (happy stories) versus negative (Allah took momma away).

But, back to being cheerful- Alhamdulillah!  My first story has been accepted and I’m very excited.  I’m fairly sure that if I hadn’t been Not-Dying-Yet, I wouldn’t have had the urgency to overcome my fear of submitting anything to a publisher.  I would be too scared of being rejected to even try.  But I did it, and they said yes.  And now I’m going to do a little happy dance.

I’ll let you know when it’s published, InshaAllah.  In the mean time, check out Greenbird Books, they have lots of really adorable Islamic stories for kids.  And soon, InshaAllah, they’ll have mine too. 🙂


Abez is a 50% white, 50% Pakistani, and 100% Muslim. She is also chronically ill and terminally awesome. She is the ever-lovin Momma of: - Khalid, a special little boy with autism - Iman, a special little girl with especially big hair -Musfira, an especially devious baby Spoiler, Abez is also Zeba Khan on Muslimmatters.org.

  1. Owl

    Now I’m crying again. But hey, I’ve ‘ad worse!

    So, you know what book you need to write? Is the book about the Muslim mommy who fears she might be dying and sets about creating a legacy for her children. That would be a good book. <3

  2. Mona

    aw mashaAllah. mabrook girl!
    the kiddies looking for their mama and not finding her makes me want to cry too. i often think about how terrified my kids would be if i weren’t at the bus stop to pick them up one day (say, i got stuck in the elevator so i always remember to read the dua), and other dramatic scenarios along that line 🙁

  3. Yasmine

    I haven’t commented here in a long time, but I’ve been reading all along, and have always remained inspired, amused, and touched by your posts. I’m so happy to hear about your book, and can’t wait to read it once it’s published! InshaAllah, your books, and any other writings, will always provide joy, comfort, and inspiration for your children. Ameen!

    PS: I do think, though, that Your Legacy should include a book about Mortal Wounds, too. Whether it’s a childrens book or an adult book, it should be illustrated. I know I, for one, would laugh and laugh my way through it 😉 I love that you have been blogging for ten years (TEN YEARS! — I just updated my blog again after a year away, and it somehow made me ridiculously happy to remember our old blogistan days, and the fact that we were all blogging long before it became fashionable to do so)…I just clicked your March2003 archives, and laughed to see that 2 of your 4 posts during that month were about Mortal Wounds. hahaha SEE! It needs a book! 😉

  4. Abez

    Farah: Alhamdulillah, High Five! Now invite yourself over again. Don’t make me have to call you or something.

    Owl: I’m too busy living that one to write it. 😉

    Mona: I have a fear of dying in an elevator too for some odd reason. Glad I live on the ground floor. Also, mothers have THE WORST IMAGINATIONS sometimes. Seriously.

    Yasminay!: Blogistan is back, baybee! Man, you’re right. We were blogging hipsters. I was blogging way back when it was Yahoo Geocities, and then Xanga! Does anyone remember Xanga? Heh

    You know, I’m kind of glad I don’t mortally wound myself as often as I used to, but do you know what the secret of that self-preservation success is? I’ve had a full-time housekeeper for oh… the past five years. So if you miss reading about how I nearly amputated something while making a cheese sandwich, you have my housekeeper to thank for that.

  5. Ola Olanrewaju

    It is inspiring and painful…….all at once,with equal impact!
    It is not how long………but how well.
    Its all about challenging the status quo………leaving the world better than you met it. Abez, you have done that.
    You are leaving your mark on the sand of time.
    You will always live in the heart of your many admirers…….always!
    For me, i will always remember you and your family in my prayers

  6. Sadiyya Nesar

    This made me cry. I really look forward to see your books published. May Allah SWT give you a long, healthy and happy guided life with your children, husband and loved ones ameen.

    I look forward talking to you and hearing from you sister. It was a pleasure reading your blog today. Its night time in Hong Kong now. Expect more comments from me tomorrow inshaAllah 🙂

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